Horses and other drugs- what would you do?(15 Posts)
Myself and a couple of other ladies rent a yard. We have other yards in close proximity. We have had problems with internal stealing of feed when one of the ladies had money troubles. In the past we had helped financially as she had lost her job , but when we discovered the job was lost because of drugs and any money she had was going on drugs we stopped helping.
Its hard enough affording our own let alone supporting someone squandering their money away.
One lady now provides hay and bedding , and shoes for that matter for this ladies horse in exchange for schooling of her horses.
Recently the next yard has seen her taking their hay (we have loads). We have sort of dealt with this up to now internally by locking pretty much everything up, but now she is stealing from neighbouring yards the rest of us feel that we need to confront her and threaten to throw her off the yard.
Obviously we are aware that if she has a drugs problem it cannot just be switched off like that but we are sick of it, having to lock everything from someone on our own yard. However we all worry what will happen to the horse.
Sorry for long post but it feels good to vent and ask if anyone else on here has had similar experience with having someone on the yard with substance abuse/kleptomania?
I think you've got so used to this it has become normal.
You need to tell her (both of you) that you know what's happening and that if it doesn't stop she has to leave. In writing if you'd prefer.
Don't be a doormat. It's not your job to subsidise someone else's luxury hobby. Especially when their drug use is the reason they're struggling.
You're enabling her. You need to stop.
We spend too much time and money on our horses to have to deal with this shit too. You'll be much happier if she leaves and you get someone normal. You and the other lady are also going to get tarred with the same brush, if it hasn't happened already.
Yep it has become normal and thats twisted. Recently I was down there for a rug change and her bike was there and the place was in darkness , i honestly thought she was probably dead lying in a ditch somewhere, especially as this drug is the worst one in my books.
What is she on?
This is not normal and having horses is hard enough as it is without worrying about this crap. I would be giving her notice personally. I know it is hard as you worry about the horse but there isn't much you can do about that.
Oh thats not good. I would say give her notice and back away.
Might be too hard line but have you considered reporting the thefts to the police? It might be the wake up call she needs.
So many things have happened that we thought would be the wake up call and there has been no effect. We also arranged for her horse to have a space in a lorry for a competition (something she used to love to do and she was always in the ribbons as she is a brilliant rider), but she didnt turn up. We thought getting out and about may have given her something else to focus on and remind her of a life before she seemed to spiral downwards.
Oh God, give her notice. You'll have tack stolen soon if you haven't already, and energisers.
I feel sorry for everyone concerned, especially her horse. But addictions affect everyone around them and it may bring you down too. I agree, give her notice.
We - (the other ladies) had a meeting fairly soon after my last posts and decided that it was fair to give her a warning and let her know we know what she is doing to give her a chance to buck up her ideas.
We had met at the local pub which is close to the yard, we parked our cars at the pub as the yard doesn't have oodles of parking.
Had the meeting decided on course of action, warn and then monitor the situation.
I personally thought that as the horses will be out for summer soon the problem of feed and hay stealing will essentially disappear and will lull us all into a false sense of security then before we know it, winter will be here and she will start stealing again. At which point we will all feel more guilty (for the horse) for chucking her off at the start of winter. Essentially i want her gone now.
Anyway as i was in the minority with the chuck off now plan, it was decided to give her a warning. We saw she was at the yard so walked from pub.....
As we got closer i saw my stable door was open (the horses were still in at this point as weather was horrible), then got closer and saw she was in with my horse taking haylege from my horses net. She sees us and rushes to see us. Apparently her horse had got loose and raided my horses net , miraculously spilling it in a pile on the stable floor and not any ending up on the floor outside the stable.
At this point i am lost for words, then suddenly i find them.
Now in july, i still have barely spoken to her. She comes down once a day to do her horse, usually at about 10.30/11pm. She will often put a rug on if looks like rain and as she wont be down until the next night (one day we left it on to see if she would appear to take it off) , one of us usually takes the rug off the poor horse which is boiling in the bag.
I am going to call another meeting as i think i can see where this is going. Its so bloody sad and i feel absolutely no guilt for kicking her out as a human but i feel bad for her horse.
When we caught her with my haylege it was like talking to a brick wall/child, she just said we were wrong, over and over again. No apology, no "im so sorry, i have a problem help me". Completly closed, complete denial.
I feel we cannot help if she wont admit she has a problem, i dont want to move yards as my horse is happy and we have jusy taken over the place properly (a group of us including drug lady), and we are making it lovely.
Sorry this was more of a vent but wanted to update people that we are still in the same position!
You need to chuck her off asap. To be in this situation with someone you have no ties to or requirement to support is madness.
Will call another meeting, ive already said to the other two we could find another livery who will is not a drug addict, pays rent on time and may actually be able to pull her weight- we are a private yard now but we all do diy and will swap favours but she is never around to actually help out and we end up looking after her horse when its too hot/covered in flys .
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