Baby or horse?(13 Posts)
ok so it's not exactly that straight forward but here's my situation: been riding forever, previously owned a horse but not since the DCs (3 and 6). Ride a friends horses weekly for free, and dc's 1 rides too (slightly reluctantly!)
Just starting to think about perhaps loaning but the urge for dc3 has NEVER left me. Have I forgotton how impossible it is to have time for anything when you have a baby? How do people manage horses and babies? Or do I need to make a decision? If I got a horse (and I'm only talking a low maintenance, living out hack), then fell pg, is that realistically manageable? I'd have horse help, not so much baby help!
I had this dilemma - I chose a Horse!
I gave my first horse up for DS and it broke my heart.
My new baby came along in July and that was that. .
I couldn't manage with a baby and him
or afford both and I couldn't bear to go through it again so one kiddo and my two hoofed children for me
It was always horse v another child and I ended up with the horse!
Thats me personally anyway - a live out low maintenance horse
not a high maintenance tb like I have is much easier to work around and if you have horse help maybe worth looking at a sharer if you decide to go for both?
Also may be worth getting dc3 out of the way and then going for a horse? If you have options to ride then you can still stay in 'the horsey world' fairly easily....
Well the looking after is doable if the horse is a live-out type, depending on where you keep it (is there good access? Can you park the car and leave the baby asleep but in view while you feed? etc etc). My friend has 6 children and she managed a horse and pony ok.
The hard part is getting any actual riding. If there's a school and a safe place to leave the buggy you might be lucky and get half an hour or so but it's not ideal. If it's your own horse then you just have to accept that you aren't going to get much riding until the baby is older but it's a bit different if you are paying out for a loan.
If you are getting free riding now then you are getting your 'fix' so you may as well wait a while I'd have thought.
Well, that's sensible. I could easily carry on as I am, ride when I have the time/energy, get dc3 out the way (poor thing!), then look at loaning in the pre school years.
As I say, that's sensible...
Since when did horses ever inspire sensible behaviour?! I need to stop looking on horses4homes, I think that's what's done it. Finding actual horses I'd love to take on.
There's no school access, I literally only hack out. I do take the dog though, so it's basicslly walking the dog, which I have to do anyway, but from a horse!
Hmm, not quite talked out of it yet. I'll keep pondering.
We had a low maintenance horse (I.e. On full livery) when DS was born. We expected it all to be easy, as we only had to turn up when we felt like it, give DH a fuss and ride him wen we could. We got a sharer to help exercise DH and all seemed well.
A couple of weeks before DS arrived, DH did a major injury and over the following weeks it transpired he couldn't stay at hi yard due to needing flat, individual turn-out. We could only find live-out suitable that was on. DIY basis, 20 min drive from home. DH has a long commute to work, so couldn't help in the week. I ended up doing a total of 1hr20 driving everyday to check on and care for DH, with a non-sleeping, high needs baby in the back of the car. All through last winter, I was getting up free virtually no sleep to go care for DH, dragging my DS out in all weathers, even when he was poorly.
I know that's a bit long winded, but I think my point is, it's difficult to know if a horse truest will be low maintenance longer term, even if it only looks like a small commitment shorter term. Although, I suppose a loan can always be returned.
That's a good cautionary tale. My head totally says choose horse over baby but I don't think I can!
I need to stop looking at addictive horses4homes and just try to carry on as I am I think.
You can have a horse anytime, your window for babies is limited!
I got the baby when I already had the ponies, and Im sad to say they are going. I just dont have the time or the motivation anymore. I just want to stay in the warm with my wee girl!
Mine are escapologists, and the fences round my paddock are rubbish. I spend long hours in the night worrying something will happen, and I live in terror of a crisis in the day when theres no one to mind the LO!
Its not realistic to take a baby down the yard in february! And especially not to strap her on my back and go wade around in the mud after lairy beasts!
I had a baby and 2 horses for a year, down to one now and it's been a struggle. DHorse is low maintenance, doesn't mind not being sat on for months, then plodded around on, but it's still really hard work (she's on DIY) even though I have help from my parents
Not helped by the fact that OH and his mother don't approve of me having DHorse and make my life difficult, so a lot depends on how supportve your partner is
If you can ride for free every week then I say don't get a horse just now. You can have a baby, take a break and return to riding when you are ready. Maybe get a horse at that point.
Having a horse and a baby is hard and I know quite a few people who struggle not only with time but financially as well. I had to give up my Horse when I had DD as I couldn't afford it financially. I'm lucky my mum took on my horse so I still see him from time to time but I find it quite sad at times and miss having him.
Horse. Get both kids into school and then you'll have lots of time for indulging your PASSION...which is very important for your mental health, both as a mother and a person (some people achieve that through work, others through hobbies...or a combination...I'm assuming you're a SAHM). Big time and financial commitment but MASSIVE reward....kids are overrated .
CAVEAT: I will say this though, as a newbie horse owner...please don't forget how CRAZY expensive they are to maintain. Mine is on full-board and if you add up the costs of his keep, routine vet stuff, farrier, blankets and equipment, lessons and training (I have a young TB, so expert help is a necessity) well, it's not easy to justify in the context of a family budget sometimes. The amount of money I've spent on him so far could have taken us all on a very nice holiday or two...I don't know, it's a toughie! Horses are NOT sensible and they make no financial sense whatsoever, especially not when you're in a family BUT the rewards are immeasurable...it's a tricky thing to explain to a non-horse person. However, DH has been spending a lot of time at the barn with me lately and the other day I caught him kissing DHorse on the muzzle so I think he may be coming
to the dark side around .
Well, I have both - a 5 month old ds and a very low maintenance welshie.
I am super lucky though, pony lives on a farm where I have friends, my friend who shares the field with me and I take turns, i can manage to feed/hay/do a coupke of bits with ds in the car, my parents will babysit while i ride and I have known the pony for the whole of her 16 years so I am confident even with minimal input from me.
Even with this amazing situation I have had to get a sharer to help with costs and get (the fat little madam) exercised.
I reckon stay as you are and have dc3, it sounds like a fab set up.
But then I totally understand the pull of wanting your own. No matter how difficult it might get, my pony stays
I have the dilemma that I have 4, just found out I am pregnant, and I am starting to wonder what on earth I am going to do!? You are more than welcome to come and ride one of mine ;)
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