teens giving up riding(8 Posts)
Have posted abpout the possibility of selling our pony due to combination of possible receeding commitment/our struggle to pay for pony - namley competing and lessons/needing to balance the needs of the familty as a whole as we have no free money and struggle as much of our funds go on pony.
A m really worried about making a mistake - we have no reference point to alternative lifestyles than horsey as dd has ridden since small.Im woried she will just sit in frount of tv - this was her passion.I know this is typical around this age to want to meet wih pals etc but all weekend she has been on phone or tv.She says she will meet pals ,join after school clubs .Shes not a good self starter in terms of asking folk to do stuff with her tho, and the strucuture around horses has meant that shes never needed to be as there is always pals at yard etc.She means well but drifts.For eg i said to her y day- how about we go into town and get a hair and face pack for you ?- to get er out out house off sofa....she looked happy ,said yes please,then forgot about it .When i reminded her didnt get ready so i left it.
Anyone elses teen given up owning and its worked out ok?
She may loan part time or ride for people buy right now weve just got to addresss the hear and now.
TBH your daughter sounds like a fairly normal teenager and the fact that she is willing to give up the pony would indicate to me that you don't really need to worry to much about her .
Flora thanks for reply.I think her intrest is waining ,re competing but not riding as a whole - she used to ride x 6 ish a week ,compete etc.I think that she is less exited about going to stable, but when she does is always happy to have lessons,loves jumping etc.Its more that if shes not as commited then can we as a family fund something that is more ad hoc when we have other family menmbers doing without.Eg not going to stables for four days but loving it when there.
tbh she sems confused re what to do - she is aware that she is less keen and knows that we have to have frequent comprimises do to pony ownership which affect things like our ability to pay for ds driving lesons when he is old enough - soon-and she is questioning wether or not we can justify the expense now.She has written a list like - i will have more free time v but its my passion.!!.But it seems less of her passion of late even tho she loves it when she is in the saddle.Im feeling if its a true passion we will continue to make sacrifices but if its not we would love to let outr other child do stuff to TBH we really really cannot afford both .
Im not sure if it shoul be all her decsion - or if it s fair to let her make it- on her or others.Its - dh - wants pony to o and a bit of financia control back,dd - struggling ;me struggling - ds - keeping out of it !!My heart says ke pony my head says weve had enough of struggling money wise and its out o balance re whole family needs.
All this to say - i dont think shes willingly given up - just aware that it needs review given our circumstances.She is worried that she has no memeory of not having a pony toinform her choice.
Does she goo the stables every day and look after the pony because that is what would say to me that she was really into it . We had horses as teenagers and had months when one or other was lame but my sister and I still went to the yard at least twice a day to muck out ,get in ,poo pick etc . We definitely made sacrifices to keep our horses but as we don't sell on that was how it was .
She wd to everyday normally but hasn't gone crore last few days . She will go every day when in as will have to . I thi m she has not gone to get thinking time.
A bit off topic but most posts on here are advice for peeps returning to riding after giving up as teenagers.
So I think there is a natural gap.
Could you keep your pony but stop competing and lessons? Could she just look after him and hack? That would mean you could save money and it would stop being such a pressure on the rest of the family?
It does sound a bit 'all or nothing' - ie you are full on or nothing at all.
Alta - yes weve suggested that - just enjoy her etc ,part loaning etc to save going down all lthe time.She is saying she needs a goal on one hand but doesnt like competing anymore on the other.....maybe its what little says there can be time for a gap for some folk...
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