I am horse mad. I have a horse, I work in the equine vet industry. Eat sleep drink horse. Married a professional show jumper (now retired).
I have 3 dc, 2xds (age 4&5) + 1dd (age 13) and a dsd (age 14).
Both DS's have a pony each. We have our own land and stables at home, so we are very lucky and it is all right on the doorstep.
My dd has had two ponies previously, the last one went 2 years ago. She had a nasty fall (no broken bones, just a fright) from this pony and lost all her confidence. We tried lessons, and lead reining, but she never wanted to do anything more than walk round the yard the lead rein, and would scream every time the pony moved unexpectedly (ie stumble, turn). She also wasnt keen on getting wet, muddy or smelly, or coming up the yard, so i looked after the pny at the same time as my own horse. After about 18 months of this, I figured horses weren't her thing, I was wrong to keep putting her through this and let the pony go. She took up dancing and was very happy, never asked for a pony, and I accepted that that was that.
Until Sept. My dsd lived with her mum until last Sept when she moved back in with us, due to problems in their relationship. She is pony mad, and a great little rider. We promised her that if she worked hard at school, got her attendance up above 98% (she was truanting alot and refusing to go to school, locking herself in her room etc etc, attendance was 100% last term), got her grades up, and helped look after her one of her little brothers ponies we would get her a horse. She has done all that and more.
We also promised my dd, who's interest flared up when her DStepsis moved in, that if she also helped look after a little brother pony, kept her room tidy, did some chores voluntarily and generally showed an improvement in her attitude towards us (has become quite rude recently as teenagers do, so we were aiming her at improvements here,her school attendance are grades are all way above standard so couldn't really ask for improvements here) she too would get another pony. She hasnt been quite as great at sticking to her end of the bargain. Is always late to do the pony, so we end up doing it, and the rest has been hit and miss.
We are now in the process of looking for a horse for dsd, and I am not feeling so inclined to do the same for my dd. Not as a punishment but because I really don't think it's her thing and don't want to force my hobby onto her. But she views it as a punishment, an exclusion, which is not my intent. I just don't want to get another pony, and end up looking after it myself again because she has lost interest again.
I am in an utter quandry. I want to get her a pony because i would love it. I want to get her a pony because she says she wants one. I want to get her a pony because all the other children will have one. But i, deep down, dont think she really enjoys it. So, WWYD?
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Do I get my dd a pony (different circs to earlier thread) sorry, long.
12 replies
Imabadmum · 01/01/2013 12:50
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happynewmind ·
01/01/2013 13:27
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happynewmind ·
01/01/2013 13:35
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