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help me think this out

(11 Posts)
headlesshorseman Sat 03-Nov-12 23:17:58

I need to think this out because I don't now what to do and no-one in RL is being helpful.

I share a horse, who is lovely, whose owner is fab and very relaxed about everything. he lives on a yard with outdoor school and lots of supportive people around. But he is a PITA to jump, does not hack out alone and is 30 mins drive (on a good day) from home. I am his only rider, and I ride him 2-3 times a week, muck out once a week and pay approx 80/month.

I have been recommended as a sharer for a friend of a friend. This friends horse (who I have not yet met), is younger and fitter and hacks out alone, with the opportunity to compete/ go out. It is also 2 mins drive from home. If I took this horse on I would be his main, but not only rider, and be able to ride 3-4 times a week, due to the minimal commute, and would be paying 30/month with no stable duties. This horse is kept on a private yard with the owners other horse and no-one else.

I love my current share, but I have been persuaded to go and meet new horse, and if I like him, then I don't know what to do. I really don't want to let share horses owner down, but am starting to dislike the hours round trip to share horses yard.
And if we can manage to loan a pony for dd in the spring i'll have to give up my share anyway.

Any thoughts?

Debs75 Sat 03-Nov-12 23:26:55

I would check out the new horse and maybe try him afor a week or so. He sounds great but is it just the commute which is making him so appealing. If you get on then talk to the original sharer and be honest, money is tight and you can't afford the petrol for the commute. If you give her time to make other arrangements then she can't get too mad.

Oh and lucky you to have the choice of 2 horses. I can see how it is hard to choose though.

prelim29 Sun 04-Nov-12 09:31:05

Go see the new one! You have nothing to lose. Then realistically compare the two horses and the money situation. With winter setting in you have to think about time as well as money.

Charliefox Sun 04-Nov-12 09:57:22

No contest for me I'm afraid. As for letting the guy down, well, things change and you can give fair notice, to allow him time to try and find someone else, if money is an issue for him.

Floralnomad Sun 04-Nov-12 11:16:08

Would the new arrangement work with your DCs , as I read another thread about your DD falling off your current share . Will the new owner be happy with your DCs being at the yard ? Is there a school at the yard ? Why are there no stable duties?

Mirage Sun 04-Nov-12 14:52:25

I'd go and see the other horse too.ATt the end of the day,you might find that there is a quirk that they haven't mentioned and is a no no.As for the original share arrangement,that is one reason why people share,so that they can change when circumstances change.Good luck.

LastMangoInParis Sun 04-Nov-12 20:33:31

Agree with everyone else saying try it and see...
Would be a shame to lose out on current arrangement for something not as good as it looks now, but if it does work better than what you're doing, why not change?
Totally agree with Charliefox and Mirage WRT to share arrangements - and possiblity of unseen disadvantage to possible new arrangement.

headlesshorseman Sun 04-Nov-12 21:45:04

thanks all, nice to see some other views.
I don't know with regards to kids, current share is very good with the kids and they benefit from it as much as I do, but 'new' share is thinking about it, I don't know if that horse has any experience with kids. I think that will be one of the main deciding factors.
There are no stable duties, as in mucking out, because they live out all year round. She would expect some help with poo picking.
I have arranged to go see the 'new' share some time in the next week or two, although I am starting to get suspicious that she only wants a sharer over winter, just from something friend said.

Floralnomad Sun 04-Nov-12 22:06:11

There's always the old saying - if something sounds to good to be true it probably is ! If she is having to think about your children I think that would worry me !

Buildabetterworld Mon 05-Nov-12 12:21:58

Also think about what you enjoy about riding/spending time on the yard. A share on a yard with no-one for company (expect the owner?) can get lonely and you would have no-one (except the owner?) to hack out with. If you are happy with this, and everything else works out, then go for it. Also, you would need to really get on very, very well with the owner if there are no other people around except her. I've had a few shares over the years and learnt that sometimes the owner is the deciding factor, not the horse...

headlesshorseman Tue 13-Nov-12 23:21:31

well, the 'new' woman messed me round something rotten, didn't even get chance to speak to her in person or meet the horse because she was very unreasonable about meeting up and then ignored all my messages suggesting mutually acceptable times. (she got very annoyed that I had to work 1 sunday every 8 weeks!)
whilst this was going on dhorse lost a shoe so I didnt ride him for almost a week.
And today, I got to the school, chatted with some of the other liveries, then rode in the lovely menage and he flew grin.
I love him smile

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