Stressed and anxious

[Mammyloveswine]

I have had a stressful 12 months, some major personal issues (including losing a baby and marriage and financial issues), plus ofsted and covering long term sickness alongside my own role. Then lockdown hit and I really struggled mentally but got through it.

Since going back in September I am a mess. I have a really challenging class, my new role is double the workload yet still on a part time salary. Assessment arrangements keep changing so I'm constantly playing catch up and I feel so utterly overwhelmed.

I have spoken to my gp who has referred me for counselling but I am waking up vomiting with anxiety every night. My heart is constantly racing, I feel on the edge of tears constantly!

I feel like I'm losing my mind!

I know that I probably need to take some time off but that terrifies me!

I just want to run away ☹️

[PumpkinPie2016]

I'm so sorry to hear what a tough time you have had it's no surprise that you feel overwhelmed

Please call in sick tomorrow and contact your GP. Tell them exactly how you are feeling -you could even ask for an email address and email them a copy of this post. Don't worry about school, it will still be standing when you get back.

The priority now is you and your health

[Mammyloveswine]

I just don't want to let anyone down, I've never felt like this before it's so scary.

Thank you for your kind words.

[Cookiecrisps]

You must put your own health first. The longer you try to carry in, the more poorly you will be. I agree with PP to call in sick tomorrow and speak to the GP. 💐

[Flowerblue]

Please get signed off. I know of at least three teaching acquaintances who all signed off with stress at the moment. I’m just glad they are being sensible and taking care of themselves.

[Mammyloveswine]

Thanks everyone...I'm heading in today to make sure I've got all my files in order etc. I'm ringing the doctor this afternoon and going to be totally honest.

It's so scary admitting that I need time off but I know that I'm just going to make myself really ill if I don't.

I was up again vomiting from 2am...I can't cope with feeling like this anymore.

[Flowerblue]

Hope you got on alright with the GP.

[Mammyloveswine]

I haven't been... I know I need to go... I'm trying to get all my data and files up to date so I'm not leaving anyone in the shit... I'm going to speak to my head tho too to keep her in the loop.

I just feel so guilty on top of knowing I need to look after me.

[Mammyloveswine]

And that makes me feel worse 🙁 what will people say? All those people I'll let down or who will have to pick up the slack...

[Flowerblue]

I hope you spoke to your head and that they were supportive. No one is indispensable.

[lurch3r]

I hope you are ok and saw a GP - please don't worry about letting people down because you are not. My colleague"s been off the last 10 days and everyone's pulled together because if it was anyone else off, she'd do the same because we care about each other. Let them support you, knowing that they are helping you protect your health - we need each other more than ever at the moment. Honestly, it could be any one of us right now.