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State school teachers with DC in private

(32 Posts)
AvoBaconHalloumi Mon 27-Jul-20 19:59:45

Is anyone here a state school teacher with a DC in a private school? We are thinking of moving DC to private over the course of the next year should they get in and a place become available, Years 3 5. I can't imagine anyone at my current school will be particularly interested/ fazed by it but just wondered if anyone has had any negative reactions? Reasons for moving is to avoid the 11 plus angst (school goes to 18) I am going FT after Oct half term so we can afford it and I feel my DCs needs would be better met at the private school.

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Callardandbowser Mon 27-Jul-20 20:02:50

Some people will judge because the system is inherently unfair.
You just do what’s right for your children and sod anyone’s opinion.

monkeytennis97 Mon 27-Jul-20 20:03:34

We did with our eldest. We are both state school secondary teachers and eldest went private from 10-16 then to a specialist school for 6th form (state). We had to remortgage (due to both of us being teachers). He loved it, was the making of him, confidence wise. Same reasons as you (11plus worry..)

CarrieBlue Mon 27-Jul-20 20:27:02

I’ll be totally honest - I have negative reactions to anyone who sends their children to private school wherever they work themselves but it’s not my business what you choose to do, and if I knew you in real life I wouldn’t mention anything.

AvoBaconHalloumi Tue 28-Jul-20 07:57:32

Thank you for responding.
Yes it is not something I really ever thought we would be doing but here we are, the system is so unfair and I realise by buying into private we are driving that. Part of me thinks if I didn't actually work in education and see the state schools are in my DC would not be going !

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reefedsail Tue 28-Jul-20 08:40:03

My DS is at a Prep and I have one colleague who has her children in another Prep. In both cases the DC go to the Prep attached to the Senior their dad works in and have a staff discount. My DS would have gone Independent anyway, but people don't need to know that!

I've never had any negative comments, but I do play the (huge) differences in provision down.

need2namechange32 Tue 28-Jul-20 09:41:48

My kids go to the same private I work in. Lots of staff have our kids there. Logistically it's brilliant, kids love it, I never miss an assembly/sports day etc, they can stay until 18 and I get big discount. I love we're all there together.

ohthegoats Tue 28-Jul-20 16:51:52

I'd snap someone's hand off for a private education for my child. It does not sit with my politics, my mother in law would be HORRIFIED, but the opportunities from it are amazing. Just smaller classes more than anything, especially at secondary. My friend works at a v posh private and has suggested that if we're going to do it, we send her from 11 - 16, then 6th form for A-levels. So, we'll see where we are financially when she's 11.

olivo Tue 28-Jul-20 19:59:43

I worked in state education for 20+ years and my DCs went to a private school. I faced an odd comment but most people didn't bat an eyelid. Do what you feel is best for your DC.

Geraniumblue Tue 28-Jul-20 21:20:54

At the previous (state) school I worked in the school secretary’s children were at a private school and one of the teacher’s children also. No one cared. It was homeschooling that was treated with horror!

Rosieposy4 Tue 28-Jul-20 23:43:12

My kids started at private before I started teaching.
The only secondary where we live ( fixed due to DHs work as well as mine) awful and has bounced in and out of ri, including a time where the local authority sacked the governing body en masse. [As a result house prices are cheap and lots of dc go private for secondary]
I have had the odd snarky comment, but since I happen to teach in a very leafy comp where lots of the kids have moved into catchment to attend our school I have been able to to respond along the lines of hypocritical to work somewhere where the vast majority of dc are being selected for on wealth via excessive house prices and simultaneously criticise me for doing the same but without the benefit of getting the money back in house value.

Fuzzyspringroll Wed 29-Jul-20 13:08:35

DS attends the same independent school I work at. It has the benefit of being convenient and bilingual. He could have gone to our local state primary but we're only in catchment for a large 4-form primary school, which shares a campus with our local secondary. Not too keen on that, to be honest.
He probably would have attended that school regardless of where I work. We're abroad, so it's affordable and they are one of the few schools around that teach English properly and not just the odd hour here and there.

Danglingmod Wed 29-Jul-20 18:39:02

Yes. I and several of my colleagues have/had our dc at the local private. No-one comments negatively although I imagine, in part, that's because of safety in numbers. And, in my case, a bit of a pass because of ds's SEN.

moggiemonster Wed 29-Jul-20 19:41:07

I had negative reactions at previous schools and had to sit through people voicing extremely derogatory views about children in private education 😕. Mind are in private education as one has various special educational needs but was falling through the cracks despite having a statement then an EHCP. Not disruptive enough or low enough to get a share of the limited resources. Seemed pointless and wrong to keep fighting so we paid and got excellent help in a mainstream independent. Second got a scholarship and turned down a grammar school place.

Saved myself more years of stress fighting colleagues to give support that they are unable to give because of cuts, unreasonable targets and dealing with all the other demands which outside agencies no longer provide.

oldwesterntavern Thu 30-Jul-20 14:52:33

Why would you need to mention it? Just wondering, not being arsey smile

reefedsail Thu 30-Jul-20 16:29:11

@oldwesterntavern because when you are having a conversation with a new colleague they say 'do you have any children?'- you say yes and the next question is 'which school are they at?'

oldwesterntavern Thu 30-Jul-20 17:22:48

OK - if you say so!

reefedsail Thu 30-Jul-20 17:43:18

I'm not sure why you would question that really confused. I work in a community primary school in the West country and the vast majority of staff live locally- maybe 2 or 3 commute a few miles. Most of the staff kids go to one of three local primary schools (including ours), so of course we gossip talk about the other two schools a lot!

oldwesterntavern Thu 30-Jul-20 17:46:51

I work in a secondary so perhaps it’s different smile

Danglingmod Thu 30-Jul-20 18:42:37

Secondary here too and it would be unusual not to take an interest in other people's children and where they go to school, I'd say. Natural topic of conversation, isn't it, especially if you have colleagues with children in yr 5/6 coming up to secondary school decisions? Obviously in a massive school, you wouldn't chat to or know stuff about everyone but certainly your dept/immediate colleagues.

oldwesterntavern Thu 30-Jul-20 18:43:21

Sure taking an interest but I just can’t imagine passing judgement in a way that someone would be this worried about it.

Rosieposy4 Fri 31-Jul-20 00:11:46

Surprised oldwestern, as educators it is literally almost the second question teachers ask if they know you have kids
1) how old are they
2) where do they go to school

reefedsail Fri 31-Jul-20 09:22:03

That is my experience too Rosie. We even talk about our kids' schools in staff meetings- we compare how we are choosing to deal with stuff (curriculum change) etc to how the other schools are doing it from the experience of being parents at those schools. (e.g. Well, xxx have sent a letter to Y6 parents saying yyy).

TBF it may be a small town thing. I don't remember having those conversations when I worked in a 4 form entry school in a big city.

balloonsintrees Mon 03-Aug-20 20:18:52

I work in state and DS in private. No negativity but I think the town has a unique set up...I work in an all girls comp which is excellent and if DS was DD would have no issue in them attending my school. But the local boys comp and mixed comp are dire and my colleagues know that DS would struggle hugely and may not make it alive. DS is a lazy so and so and didn't get 11+ so we were lucky to be able to send him to small local private school.
Most colleagues aim for grammar for their DS's anyway because of the situation.

AvoBaconHalloumi Mon 03-Aug-20 21:18:05

Thank you all for your responses. Yes we are aiming for grammar after 11 plus to avoid fees but if this doesnt work out then we will keep in private. Fees are less than a mortgage to move into the area of the top rated comp !

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