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Lack of enthusiasm-anyone else?!(2 Posts)
Have been teaching nearly 15 years and am normally one of those hyper enthusiastic jolly-Pollyanna types who is full of ideas and joy and love for the subject and kids. Left an awful job last year where I was basically bullied out and started at a new school with loads of positives and nice people but some really tricky behaviour. Also big adjustment going back into state system etc but was getting used to it. Then my mum passed away just before COVID hit and I taught remotely from home with very little support from work for the 14 weeks or whatever it was.
The combination of professional loneliness (being new and part time in a small dept means that I haven’t got to know many people in my current school), grief, general COVID related anxiety and the pressures of dealing with bereaved dad/supporting siblings etc as well as looking after my own DC etc means that I quite frankly couldn’t give a monkeys about arrangements for September. I’ve been put on ADs temporarily which although helping me to cope is making me really tired and lethargic and so forgetful.
I’m really hoping that I get my mojo back-I genuinely love the kids and teaching and all the post COVID restrictions make for such depressing reading. I don’t even know what i am asking really! I’m on several Facebook groups for my subject, full of people planning and creating and stressing and I am just numb which makes me feel bad.
You have been through so much with leaving a job/bereavement and the whole covid thing I'm glad you have sought help from your GP. It's no wonder you don't feel full of enthusiasm.
I wonder if the grief/bereavement is somehow different because of coronavirus? I lost my Nan on the day lockdown was announced. Obviously, I grieved at the time but now that things are getting back to a more 'normal' state, I think it's hit me more because I am not returning to 'normal' as I knew it, if that makes sense.
If you can, get your first week planned over Summer and worry about the rest in September. Maybe once you are back in the classroom things will seem a bit easier workwise.
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