Hi
I’m looking for perspective from teachers please as I’m not sure whether to approach my sons’ school or not - I am afraid of making the situation worse. It’s very personal and complex so please bear with and I’ll try and explain the best I can.
I have two children at the school, both have additional needs. Prior to Covid 19 I had an excellent relationship with the school, was always very supportive and spoke up in support of the school at meetings that were sometimes negative, (staff thanked me afterwards for my support). They were extremely supportive of me and my children during a traumatic time (DV) and have been wonderful with my children’s additional needs.
When Lockdown happened, school were reluctant to take my children as keyworker children because I would be sometimes at home sometimes out the home - if I was at home they didn’t want them in school but I didn’t know when I would be out or home so I needed them to be in school. I also have mental health issues (I’m under the CMHT).
I was under pressure from my employer to be available for shifts (I’m a care worker) and I felt very stuck in the middle. There were some difficult and tense phone calls and emails and in the end my employer got directly involved and the school agreed to take the children.
Ever since then I feel like the fantastic relationship I had with the school has been badly damaged and I don’t know how to fix it. Since then staff I have seen have been friendly but also seem on guard, it may not just be with me but I’m obviously feeling sensitive to it.
It’s further complicated by the fact that I have an extremely traumatic history with my own school as a child. I was raped by a teacher and the school attempted to cover it up and expelled me instead. It did all come out eventually and the police uncovered it all, but obviously that has a HUGE impact on how I relate to schools, teachers etc.
I have worked SO HARD to build a positive relationship with my children’s school, it has been emotionally very draining and difficult for me but I felt it was SO important.
I am worried that they now all hate me, see me as difficult, or think I don’t give a shit about them. When I do need to speak to them about my children I have to really force myself as I feel scared to do so, I feel like I need to apologise before I even start for the inconvenience.
I sent an email to the school a few weeks back thanking them for everything they are doing, praising the excellent work their class teachers have been setting and responding to.
How on earth do I fix this? The one member of staff who still seems to genuinely be happy to see me is the home-school link worker. She knows me really well, my mental health and my school past. Would it be worth me trying to approach this with her?
I don’t want to make it all worse.
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Parent looking for some advice - please be gentle
14 replies
Rinoachicken · 01/06/2020 12:01
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