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Head overreaching

(12 Posts)
itispersonal Mon 18-May-20 21:01:55

Wanted peoples thoughts on this I am struggling as teaching staff and a parent.

My child’s head is a very old fashioned head, all the children love him but he clearly has his favourites, which is obvious anyway. My child’s school parliament works as those in parliament make decisions on behalf on the children, the issues aren’t raised in class beforehand for the rest of the class’ thought, it is all what the school parliament and the head decide. So have issues with that, as it's gives importance to these children and isn't about the democracy or British values which it should be - for example the school parliament got to decide what foods to have on the school menu, when half don't have school dinners anyway.

But i am now really annoying with the head as I have just found out with one of his favourites who is very g&t, the child has been sending him work and he has been sending her games to play! She is in ks1 and no other child is getting his individual time or input. It is also the same child who on world book day the head and purposely dressed up as a character in the same book as the children. How do I address this? As it starting to grate on mine and other parents and also as a professional the head shouldn’t be acting in this manner? Would it be governor, how do I raise that with them anonymously

OP’s posts: |
rawlikesushi Mon 18-May-20 21:48:57

How do you know that this child has been sending him work and receiving games?

As a KS1 pupil it would presumably be the child's parent anyway.

I would suggest :

1. Not true.

2. Family friend.

3. Mum is bolshy enough to contact Head, as anyone could, via email address, and he is kind enough to reply.

Again, how do you know? Happened once or regularly?

rawlikesushi Mon 18-May-20 21:51:32

Don't raise it with anyone because you'll look like a dick if Head says 'why yes, little Bob^ did^ send me a lovely poem he'd written. I sent a polite reply with a link to a relevant game/activity/website.'

If you want your child to receive a response from the Head, you'll have to send them something won't you?

cdtaylornats Mon 18-May-20 22:38:37

The way the school parliament works sounds exactly like the real world.

itispersonal Tue 19-May-20 06:46:36

I'd rather not say how I know as it could out the whole situation. But it is someone I trust and from a conversation including the head. It isn't a one off, it isn't just a thank you for your work.

Also the school parliament have been having zoom meeting with head during lockdown, latest one about school opening and these children and parents are aware of the details before the rest of the parents.

OP’s posts: |
SansaSnark Tue 19-May-20 16:44:55

The way you describe it sounds almost like a red flag for grooming. Is there a safeguarding person at the school you could flag this up to- maybe the governor responsible for safeguarding.

Also the school parliament have been having zoom meeting with head during lockdown, latest one about school opening and these children and parents are aware of the details before the rest of the parents.

If this is true and not hearsay, it sounds completely inappropriate- presumably the children aren't involved in any actual decision making?

ValancyRedfern Tue 19-May-20 17:45:08

My experience of school councils is that they have zero decision making power. Which is frankly as it should be, do you want the children deciding school policy? I think they are an exercise in pretending kids have power then making them cruelly aware that they don't when the school refuses to adopt any of their ideas! I can't imagine the head is giving them an input into the school reopening.

MeanzBeanz Wed 20-May-20 13:26:29

(I know this isn't the point, but how this school parliament works is literally exactly how our parliament works. It's a representative democracy, not a direct democracy.)

rawlikesushi Wed 20-May-20 15:54:02

The way your school parliament works is usual. Kids can offer ideas for the representatives to take to meetings if they want to, but mostly the council discuss ideas and make decisions before feeding back.

It is good that the council meetings are still going ahead via Zoom. What sort of top-secret things are they discussing that worry you? If they're being given information beyond what is common knowledge from watching the news (schools returning etc) then that's not appropriate, but I really doubt it.

I think you really just need to encourage your child to get onto the council as you sound quite jealous!

Again, child is perfectly at liberty to send work to the Head. Why doesn't your child send work?

Regarding this child being sent games. Well, I'd need to know more. I was sent some work and a lovely message by a child this morning and in my reply I linked to a puzzle I thought he'd like.

itispersonal Thu 21-May-20 09:45:10

Teachers decide who is on school council. No vote by pupils, no teaching of democracy or British values.

School parliament doesnt ask for the ideas of the class, just what that group decides. They decided on what school dinners to have on the school menu when half are packed lunches.

The school parliament have been told about staggered openings for schools before parents have.

I personally don't think heads should have favourites or if they do, it shouldn't be obvious! It wouldn't be able to happen at my school. They also shouldn't be setting personal little problems for one child to do.

OP’s posts: |
reefedsail Thu 21-May-20 12:53:55

The parent is clearly heavily involved in the sending work and getting extras back. Do you think they've been having a massive kick off about how Arabella's G&T needs will continue to be met during lockdown and has been appeased?

In my 20 years experience, I would say there might have been the odd occasion where a teacher has had a favourite, but it's much, much more common that a bat-shit parent is manipulating the situation to get any advantages they can for their child and a teacher has ended up appeasing them.

I think you need to get over your issues with school council. Nothing you describe there is unusual.

rawlikesushi Thu 21-May-20 13:57:39

"Teachers decide who is on school council. No vote by pupils, no teaching of democracy or British values."

I don't believe that. There would be an outcry from all of the parents of keen kids who didn't get a go. There will be some mechanism for being appointed, you just don't know what it is. Why not ask instead of grumbling away?

"The school parliament have been told about staggered openings for schools before parents have."

This is common knowledge, in government guidance and all over the media. I am sure that they were not given state secrets.

For all you know, someone asked what time school would start on 1st June and the teacher - going above and beyond by conducting a council meeting via zoom by the way - replied that it was probably going to be staggered.

"I personally don't think heads should have favourites or if they do, it shouldn't be obvious! "

Again, how do you know the Head isn't sending the same info out to any child who contacts her or sends her work?

I think you sound paranoid and ridiculous. All schools have their poisonous grumblers - misinterpreting gossip, spreading misinformation, thinking they know stuff 'for definite' when they don't.

If your child wants a reply from the Head, send her a piece of work and a nice, supportive message.

If your child wants to be on the council, ask what she can do to make that happen.

If you're not happy with the way council is run, just first clarify that you are correct and ask about the points that bother you.

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