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Teachers, please can you check my thinking? AIBU?

(34 Posts)
Bufferingkisses Sat 21-Mar-20 09:16:31

Firstly thank you to all those teachers who are providing support either through online lessons or face to face for key workers. It is really valuable.

I am trying to work out if am am doing the right thing here and would love some input. I am a key worker. My OH does not live with us (not parent to my dc) however is also a key worker. Both NHS.

My youngest dd is old enough to look after herself (15). However she has got herself into a lot of trouble with drugs and alcohol. Her friend group likes to hang out with "influencers" who all seem older and to like providing an all you can eat buffet of various drugs and vodka to wash it down. Obviously we have been really worried about dd. She came to me and her progress tutor a few months ago and asked us for help getting out of it all. So she is working with the youth drugs and alcohol service, has a councillor through school etc. She's doing well but struggles with the peer pressure. She likes "excuses" in place so she will come to me and tell me she needs to be grounded at the weekend because she is getting pressured to go to a party etc. It's not perfect but she's trying.

Now, she is really worried about school being closed. Her friend group went out after school last night to celebrate, ended up off their faces, running from the police and one injured needing hospital treatment. Dd wasn't there as we are self isolating. She has asked if I can get her into school because I am a key worker. Just to take some of the pressure she will, undoubtedly, receive off. She has massive anxiety about school but would rather be there than risk caving.

So, what do you think? Is this enough to warrant adding to your workload at the moment? She is desperate and I want to help but I feel awful asking yet more from the teachers who have been so supportive.

Oh, she is on the list to go in, the teachers have not said anything to make me think they mind but I worry they wouldn't because they're good people.

OP’s posts: |
Bufferingkisses Sat 21-Mar-20 09:18:06

God that's long, sorry!

TL:DR 15 yo Dd is receiving support through the school for drug and alcohol abuse. She wants to stay in school to help keep her on track. Is it reasonable to send her or would it be taking the mick?

OP’s posts: |
pinksquash13 Sat 21-Mar-20 09:19:05

Send her in! X

AnnaFiveTowns Sat 21-Mar-20 09:20:39

I'm a secondary teacher and I think that you should send her to school in these circumstances. There are lots of reasons why it's not appropriate for some pupils to be home - and this is one of them. Also, if she's anxious about school generally she might find this is better as there will be far fewer pupils in school and mostly younger than her. She might actually enjoy it. Send her in.

sahbear Sat 21-Mar-20 09:22:34

She should be in school. She is both vulnerable and has a parent that is a key worker. She also wants to be there. This is why schools are open. She is nobody else providing safe care for her, while you are doing an important job, and she needs it.

CushyButtercup Sat 21-Mar-20 09:24:48

I'm volunteering to go into our school (secondary). Keeping pupils like your daughter safe and in a supportive environment is why I'm doing it.

doesthissoundok Sat 21-Mar-20 09:24:58

Definitely send her to school. She's vulnerable

DoubleAction Sat 21-Mar-20 09:25:48

Yes, this is exactly why schools are staying open.

Well done to her and you for your efforts x

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime Sat 21-Mar-20 09:26:28

Absolutely send her in, I'd have no problem taking care of her under the circumstances.

relaxingorchid Sat 21-Mar-20 09:28:12

Send her in. We’re allowing children that we think are vulnerable to come in for these very reasons. There’ll be a life after all of this has settled and your DD deserves to be in the best possible place to continue! Feel no guilt about sending her to school.

Bufferingkisses Sat 21-Mar-20 09:30:58

Thank you everyone for your lovely responses. You've brought me to tears! I have been really worrying about the right thing to do and poor dd is so stressed. Ok, I will forge ahead.

Thank you again flowers

OP’s posts: |
PerkyPomPoms Sat 21-Mar-20 09:32:09

As a teacher I’d rather have her in school than out with risky behaviour.

247SylviaPlath Sat 21-Mar-20 09:37:08

She’s vulnerable and needs supervision- send her in. As you can see from some of the responses on here teachers want to keep children safe. flowers

PenOrPencil Sat 21-Mar-20 09:46:56

This is why we keep schools open! She is more than welcome in school.

GameSetMatch Sat 21-Mar-20 09:49:38

She’s perfect example of a vulnerable child who needs a school place

Clipsy Sat 21-Mar-20 09:54:09

On the face of it, I agree she's vulnerable emotionally and it makes sense. This part of your post concerns me. Dd wasn't there as we are self isolating.

Do you mean officially self isolating because someone in your household has symptoms and you all need to protect others from you? If so, you shouldn't go to work and she shouldn't go to school.

If you mean preventatively distancing yourself from others, or giving her an excuse to avoid the carnage last night, then that's different.

lowlandLucky Sat 21-Mar-20 10:07:58

Please tell your DD that she has a lot of support from MN and we are so proud of what she has achieved alreadyflowers

Neeks888 Sat 21-Mar-20 10:12:26

Send her in, she is asking for your help. Best wishes to you both

Bufferingkisses Sat 21-Mar-20 10:49:09

Thanks again everyone flowers

@Clipsy I have had symptoms. I am on day 9 of my now 14 day isolation, dd has been home since the rule change (complicated by the fact that the rules changed after I had started isolating). So dd went be going in until that is complete regardless. In fact school have asked that she observe 14 days from her first day off rather than when I got symptoms which is totally reasonable imo. Don't worry we have no intention of putting anyone at risk if we can help it.

OP’s posts: |
Bufferingkisses Sat 21-Mar-20 10:49:38

Aw thank you @lowlandLucky smile

OP’s posts: |
Greenandcabbagelooking Sat 21-Mar-20 13:09:43

Once she’s out of isolation, she exactly the student I’d go into work for. She’s at risk of things on top of corona virus at home, in school those risks are minimised.

Send her in once you are all well.

LolaSmiles Sat 21-Mar-20 14:43:55

Once she has completed the required 14 day self isolation due to living in a house with someone who has symptoms then I would send her in as she is vulnerable

ChittyChittyBoomBoom Sat 21-Mar-20 16:23:32

She might be vulnerable by the definition we’ve been given, but she is. We’ve made special exceptionA for children they seem to have fallen through the net.

ChittyChittyBoomBoom Sat 21-Mar-20 16:23:44

might not

VisionQuest Sat 21-Mar-20 16:27:01

You're a key worker, NHS, so you can send her in on that basis alone!

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