Advanced search

Tips for a new 1-1 please

(12 Posts)
Matildathehun77 Sat 07-Mar-20 17:35:15

Hi! Dsis is in a bit of a state this weekend as she's started a job this week as a 1-1 with a six year old boy. He needs 1-1 for challenging behaviour, no Sen diagnosed yet but ADHD and ASC being considered. The problem is, she can't even get started with him, she has a folder full of beautiful visuals, a work station, individual timetable, activities and materials that he'd enjoy and a well equipped sensory room and soft play BUT he just won't go near her. As soon as she so much as says "good morning" he swears at her, backs away and refuses to talk to her or cooperate. Could I ask for your ideas please about how to build that initial bond and gain his trust please? Thank you.

OP’s posts: |
Tiggering Sat 07-Mar-20 18:19:43

Invite the parents in to meet his new 1-to-1 with him and introduce them all then.

noblegiraffe Sat 07-Mar-20 19:20:25

Is there anything he really likes that she could be in the middle of doing to catch his interest? Lego? Painting? Watching football videos on YouTube? Just to get over the initial hurdle?

hazeyjane Sat 07-Mar-20 19:33:17

Has she talked to the parents?

Matildathehun77 Sat 07-Mar-20 21:40:40

She's done the introduction to the parents but, without being too detailed, they're not in a position to be massively helpful and family circumstances contribute a fair bit to his difficulties. They're happy he has a 1-1 but couldn't really suggest strategies that work for them.
He likes a particular type of mini figure as well as sensory play so she's collecting those to do with him. She's quite an anxious personality type though and I'm wondering if she might be so keen to build a bond that she's a bit overbearing.

OP’s posts: |
Ineedaweeinpeace Sat 07-Mar-20 21:47:16

She needs to ignore.

Start playing.

Food is always good.

Animals are always good I there is no trauma.

Have jobs ready for him to do

Build him a tent for times he does need to be quiet

She needs to be totally unfazed by anything and just give him Clear responses.

Has she had emotion coaching or theraplay training?

Ineedaweeinpeace Sat 07-Mar-20 21:48:11

When I say jobs I mean literal jobs so he feels he is achieving and contributing such as mrs so and so asked us to photocopy this.
Oh we need to take this letter to mr so and so.

Matildathehun77 Sat 07-Mar-20 21:55:39

Thanks, that's really helpful, no proper training as yet although I believe they'll be arranging some. Those are good ideas to start her off though. I think the school has a little poodle type dog so maybe she can get him involved.

OP’s posts: |
BigcatLittlecat Sat 07-Mar-20 22:03:29

She needs to build up a relationship with him. So she almost needs to leave the 'work' activities alone and do activities that build their relationship. That's what I would advise a 1:1 TA in my classroom. It can take a while! PM me if you have any further questions.

drspouse Fri 13-Mar-20 23:14:55

No training for a child with challenging behaviour... I despair! This is why my DS felt very unsafe and got more challenging.
Do something he'd like to do while he watches, but don't (and being anxious is not going to help) try and "encourage" or "persuade" him.
I could have lamped the nurse yesterday who kept on at DS "quick quick, we've got to get this done". The TAs who do have training and experience however just make a joke of him stalling when he's anxious "oh dear, I think I'll just have to play this by myself" and now he knows them "ooh now where is DS? Hmm did you really remember to bring him mum?"

Butterflywings1 Fri 13-Mar-20 23:21:19

She needs to build a relationship by doing activities that are not putting demands in him, so playing games and activities he likes but with no pressure to join in. Just inform him she is doing it & in time he will join in

polarfrogs Sat 14-Mar-20 18:42:05

What others have said, set up the activity, let him know (with a visual timetable/activity board if necessary) what it is and then start doing it herself. Have a safe space where he can be and something else there he can engage with so he's not bored and more likely to be stressed but make the other activity less interesting than the one she is doing.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in