What would you do?

[toomanycabbages]

We've lost my DM and both of our dogs within the space of a year and a day. Ddog was ill over Christmas with cancer as we were trying to get through first Christmas without DM and approaching the first anniversary of her passing. We made the decision to let Ddog go to sleep yesterday.

As a family we are broken. Personally I am broken. It's too much loss in a short space of time. He was my DHs unofficial CPTSD support dog and he is struggling to not spiral. My young DD is in bits.

I've already spoken to my GP and am on meds to help me with panic attacks (that I have a history of). GP wants to sign me off.

Here's my issue. I am 2nd in a dept that already has absences at the moment and we are due Ofsted any day now. You lot will understand my guilt at the thought of leaving them another man down. My school are very supportive and any other time I wouldn't think twice. I don't know whether I can soldier on but I feel like I should try to.

What would you do in my shoes?

[daydreamdaisy]

Sorry you're having such a crap time.
As someone said to me once, a job is a job but your life is your life.
I took their advice and was signed off when much needed, I also work in education and felt so guilty for 'abandoning' my post but actually that was only coming from me, everything was fine.
I would take the time off - imagine if you pushed through and ended up having a breakdown, surely that would be far worse? Be kind to yourself

[PumpkinPie2016]

You poor thing- you have been through a lot in a relatively short time.

I understand not wanting to leave your school in a difficult position but things will carry on without you and be fine - honestly!

Take the time you need and go back when you feel stronger.

Take care.

[AppleKatie]

Can you imagine what it would be like to have a panic attack in front of a class of year 9s and an OFSTED inspector?

You owe it to you and them to follow medical advice which is get signed off until you are well.

[TwoZeroTwoZero]

I don't want to sound rude but to work you are replaceable. To your family you are not. If you break, there will be someone else willing and able to do your job; noone can fill in the gap left in your family.

[toomanycabbages]

Not rude at all, very wise and true words in fact. I guess it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking you're more important than you really are.

[MrsZola]

I don't think we think we're more important then we really are - I think that often there's so much we keep in our heads that it's such a pain in the arse to have to explain it all etc. When I was off with depression for 6 months, I felt so awful because my year group oppo was also going through a shit time and a massive load of work ended up on her shoulders - no support from SLT. My councellor told me not to feel guilty - my oppo was an adult who had the same options as me, she could get signed off too and the school would just have to cope. Look at it like that - your family and health are the most important thing.