Childcare during SCITT year

[Lollywillowes]

Hi there,

Apologies as this could get a bit convoluted; there's a lot going on at the moment.

I am currently 6 months into a separation from my husband, we are starting divorce proceedings. It was a real shocker - discovered years of lies, infidelity, betrayal and left me in a very traumatised state. I am completely financially dependent on him and have been a SAHM to DD 4 and DS 6.

I have decided to future proof myself by going out into the world and doing my teacher training - I'll be doing a SCITT at a London state secondary that is near me. DD will go into Reception in Sept and join DS at his school down the road.

My question is: would an aupair save my sanity, or getting them into breakfast club/hiring someone to do pick up? What's realistic for teaching hours? The SCITT provider tell me they're 'flexible about childcare' but I don't know if in reality when I get my placement that will be a different story?

I'm looking at the upheaval of shifting everything round in the house and finding the right person, (don't live in an enormous house and am pretty used to being on my own) but I am scared of when kids get sick and not having support to look after them at home (parents no good, STBXH is high powered lawyer with little flexibility).

What would people's advice be? I know the training year (and beyond) are incredibly demanding and I feel like I need support at the moment. It's a bloody effort keeping normal life running when I feel pretty desperate and scared and sad a lot of the time. I also need to be out in the world, to build a bit of a life and to regain some sense of self-esteem by working on my career which I neglected for the good of the family (or so I thought)..

Thanks...

[Maccapacca88]

I’d get an au pair if I were you. Mine are both in nursery while I do mine but it’s a nightmare when one is ill. At least with an au pair you have that covered! Good luck OP, I’ve loved doing my ITT!

[Lollywillowes]

Thanks Maccapacca88, I'm TERRIFIED! Of training and also of aupairs... someone in the house I don't know, upheaval... I know it's a nightmare when they're ill.

[stucknoue]

If you can find the right one, an au pair is ideal as there's flexibility and the kids can come home after school and chill out, and you don't need to watch the clock to get to childcare pick up. Stbexh can pay the bill as part of his contribution!

[DippyAvocado]

Teaching hours are fairly compatible with pick-ups and drop-offfs from breakfast and after-school clubs. You will be expected to be on school for directed time, but will probably be able to leave by 5ish most days. It just means you'll probably have to do more work at home. There will be occasions like parents evenings where you'll need to work late nights.

[stucknoue]

Ps I'm looking into the course myself as h has decided he wants to be ex h! No childcare issues for me just money!

[Jayblue]

There will be some late nights as you'll be expected to attend parents evenings etc.

As a trainee (PGCE) I'm expected to be in my current school from 8-4.30, or 5 in evenings there is a meeting (once a week unless there is a parents evening).

You'll also have a lot of work to do- lesson planning, marking, assignments, general ITT admin etc. You probably won't fit it all into the 8-4.30 slot- I usually work from around 7.30-5 on weekdays with sometimes marking at home, and then 4-5 hours on a Sunday. The work does require concentration, so I think it would be hard to do while actively caring for small children.

I think an au pair could be a great option as they will be more flexible than other childcare and you won't be constantly worrying about being on time for childcare pick ups. IME, while ITT is a great thing to do, it's best to also minimise your stress whilst you are doing it.

It's also worth remembering you need to meet a certain number of days/hours in school to pass your ITT. My training provider built in 10 days of slack during placements, but this is disappearing quite fast due to term dates not quite matching up, school closures due to snow and 3 days I've taken off due to sickness. It's very common to get ill during ITT due to stress and exposure to pathogens. And that's not taking into account taking a day off due to an ill child.

I do think you need some kind of back up/support to help you through the year and if you find the right au-pair it could work really well for both of you.

[juliej00ls]

I use after school and breakfast club.... BUT I would struggle to drop off and get to my job on time. DH does this It’s nice not be rushing in after dropping children off. The other issue to remember are INSET days. Unfortunately when you work children can’t be ill 😉.... however when they haven’t read the memo you need back up for this. Even if you had not split you would need a solution..., so either au pairs (can be flakey) or an older live out nanny who can be flexible if the children are poorly.

[Lollywillowes]

Thanks everyone for your messages.

I am feeling quite disheartened, but it's hard to know if it's just overwhelming grief for the shit storm of my marriage wreck. stucknoue I feel you...

I have been messaging potentials on aupairworld (like dire internet dating I imagine) but am feeling like they're pretty flaky juliej00ls candidates on the whole. There's a lot of 'yeah maybes'.

STBXH says a nanny is too expensive. He earns in a month what most teachers earn in a year but says it 'all goes on tax'.