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Was my advice correct?

(11 Posts)
Upsidedownfrown Sat 22-Dec-18 10:11:49

I'll be vague so this isn't too identifying but hopefully you'll get the idea.

I'm support staff in a primary school. I have a new (ish) member of staff who generally works with large groups of children but once a week is 1-1 for just an hour with one particular child. Yesterday she told me she'd bought this child a Christmas gift. She wasn't gifting any other children in the school. I advised her that really, she should be completely impartial and I didn't think it was a good idea to gift just one child as imo that's blatant favouritism although it was a lovely gesture. I did tell her to check with SLT though.

I don't know if she did check with SLT but I saw she took the gift home.

Was I wrong to say that? It made me a bit uneasy but now I'm second guessing myself. They haven't been doing this hour per week for very long and she seems a little fixated on this child.

OP’s posts: |
Upsidedownfrown Sat 22-Dec-18 10:13:41

Argh meant to post this in staffroom. Have asked for it to be moved

OP’s posts: |
JoanneMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 22-Dec-18 10:17:09


Argh meant to post this in staffroom. Have asked for it to be moved

Moving it over for you now, OP. smile

icklekid Sat 22-Dec-18 10:23:09

Yes I think that is sensible advice.

Bobbiepin Sat 22-Dec-18 10:25:23

Could easily be interpreted as grooming. Your advice was correct.

Upsidedownfrown Sat 22-Dec-18 10:29:30

Thank you both. I don't normally second guess myself so not sure what's different this time! Think she might need a gentle chat next term! That's just what I needed to hear. I can switch off from work brain now. Happy holidays!

OP’s posts: |
Pud2 Sat 22-Dec-18 12:41:45


spaghettipeppers Sat 22-Dec-18 13:02:49

You were right. I wouldn't be concerned about grooming but favouritism and over-attachment.

Bobbiepin Sat 22-Dec-18 21:59:38

Giving gifts to individual young people is a known tactic to increase favour as a part of grooming. I'm not accusing your colleague of grooming but someone could easily misinterpret.

Cauliflowersqueeze Wed 26-Dec-18 00:27:11

Very good advice. Yes re: grooming.

happystory Wed 26-Dec-18 09:09:14

I'm sure your colleague just meant to do a nice thing, but she's a bit naive, and yes your advice was correct.

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