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Intrusive comments about pregnancy

(28 Posts)
NCPuffin Tue 22-May-18 14:34:28

I'm a secondary school teacher and almost 22 weeks pregnant. I told my form and classes last week, and since then I've had at least five kids (who I don't teach and sometimes don't even know) randomly call out "Miss, you pregnant?!" when I'm just going about my business. No introduction, greeting or anything. It feels very intrusive, especially as the tone is often almost accusatory. I know I'm probably being sensitive, but I am finding it upsetting. Any tips on the best way of dealing with it??

OP’s posts: |
BaronessBomburst Tue 22-May-18 14:40:56

I would yell back 'yes, that's cause I had sex'.
I know that's not terribly helpful and it's just as well I'm not a teacher.

Congratulations. flowers

BaronessBomburst Tue 22-May-18 14:42:46

Maybe have a standard answer. Ask if they want the baby named after them. Something to take the wind out their sails.

whatwouldnigellado Tue 22-May-18 14:55:00

Using your best 'teacher voice and facial expression' (my parents were teachers so I know it well!) say "excuse me but i don't think that's any of your business".

noblegiraffe Tue 22-May-18 16:22:22

Kids love a bit of gossip, you’re just famous for the moment. I’d probably just give a cheery ‘yes thanks’.

HollowTalk Tue 22-May-18 16:24:03

I don't think that's that bad! It's just a simple question - they've heard you're pregnant, perhaps you don't really look pregnant and they're wondering whether the rumours are true.

DerelictWreck Tue 22-May-18 16:27:45

I don't really think it's bad either! You've told people so they've just heard it from their mates and are asking!

RexManning Tue 22-May-18 21:17:08

What on earth is wrong with that? What did you think would happen when you’ve told them so early? Just smile and say ‘yes’. That’s it.

Do not give a smart answer. Do not tell them it’s none of their business. You are currently hot gossip and this will only fan the flames.

I am 35 weeks and going on mat leave this Friday. I am very, very obviously pregnant. I still get kids coming up and asking if I’m pregnant. They’re just excited and interested.

8pinksnails Tue 22-May-18 21:20:24

I used to say 'no I'm just fat' the look of worry was so funny.

To be honest though kids asking didn't bother me at all.

NCPuffin Tue 22-May-18 21:41:37

I don't mind them asking, it's just the way they do it, no hello, question or anything, just having it shouted at me. The other day it was a girl as I was coming up the stairs, before I could even see her standing there. Vv tempted to go with "No, I'm just fat" I am too grin I suppose that sums it up, it's just a rude question if it's blurted out. I suppose I should've known better than to expect teens to have mannersgrin did appreciate the year 7 boy telling me to have a C section - he has no idea!

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NCPuffin Tue 22-May-18 21:47:18

Just spotted someone said it's early: I'm almost 22 weeks, is that early to tell?? I think some kids were getting suspicious, and at this time of the year there are always lots of questions about next year's timetable. My colleague who's also pregnant told them at 14 weeks or so!

OP’s posts: |
RexManning Tue 22-May-18 21:52:30

I think 22 weeks is early, yes. I am personally of the opinion that the kids don’t need to know until it’s absolutely obvious and unmistakable and unless you are carrying twins or are really tiny of frame then it probably isn’t yet.

14 weeks is ridiculous. I hadn’t told all of my friends by then.

NCPuffin Tue 22-May-18 21:53:45

Clearly we have different opinions on that thensmile

OP’s posts: |
Nothisispatrick Tue 22-May-18 21:57:56

Have you met teenagers before? Seriously, it's really not that bad. I'm 20 weeks and work in a primary, I've had 'are you having a baby?!' Yelled at me by year 1s, loads of kids stare at my belly but clearly too embarrassed to ask. It's fine, they're children!

Nothisispatrick Tue 22-May-18 21:58:58

22 weeks isn't early

Bestbe Tue 22-May-18 21:59:18

Jut shout back Noooo too many Nando’s.

Wolfiefan Tue 22-May-18 22:01:13

I was bloody hugely waddly pregnant. A Y11 asked if I was pg. I said no. It was an allergic reaction. Poor kid was mortified.
And that's just one reason I don't teach anymore.
grin
They are interested. You need to grow a thicker skin if you're going to stay teaching. They really don't mean to be intrusive.

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer Tue 22-May-18 22:05:08

Have some fun with them. Say ‘no, what makes you ask that?’ And watch them squirm.
that’s what I did

Bobbiepin Tue 22-May-18 22:05:56

I used to say 'no I'm just fat' the look of worry was so funny.

I did this, up until the day I left on maternity leave. If its the lack of conversation that bothers you, have a one sided conversation with them. "Oh hi [insert student name] I'm great, thanks for asking. I had a great weekend, how was yours?" Etc etc

NCPuffin Tue 22-May-18 22:08:15

My skin has thickened considerably already, think the pregnancy hormones are thinning a bitsmile

OP’s posts: |
C0untDucku1a Tue 22-May-18 22:10:33

I used to just look shocked and ask if they were calling me fat!

But yes you are over-reacting.

And my year 10’s guessed at 17 weeks but i was a size 8 so it was obvious to people who saw me daily.

MsJaneAusten Tue 22-May-18 22:15:56

They don’t mean to be rude. They’re just interested. Like when they greet you on Monday morning with, “ooh, miss, we saw you in town on Saturday. You were wearing jeans” like it’s the gossip of the century grin

Congratulations btw flowers

gingerbreadbiscuits Wed 23-May-18 08:33:20

I had a year 11 ASDAN class ask me how stretched women’s vagina are after birth. Nothing to do with the lesson but I am a teacher so I obviously know everything. I was pregnant at the time but they did not know that.

They remembered and apologised when they found out they were pregnant.

I also had a year 11 ask if I was leaving the school when at 37 weeks I was waddling with my personal effects to my car. He had not realised I was pregnant and I was huge and had spent the last couple of months teaching from a chair.

Starlighter Wed 23-May-18 08:38:33

22 weeks is not early! I had a very round, very prominent bump by 13 weeks! Just about managed to hide it until I had the scan.

They’re only kids, they don’t know the etiquette around pregnant women - most adults still don’t in my experience!! Just take it with a pinch of salt. They don’t mean any harm.

RexManning Wed 23-May-18 10:34:36

22 weeks is not at all early to tell family, friends, and colleagues. It is early to tell teenagers if you would prefer them not to ask questions or make comments.

It is very unusual to be visibly and unmistakably pregnant at 14 weeks unless, as I said above, you have a multiple pregnancy or a very small frame.

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