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Afraid all the time!

(8 Posts)
Cicera Thu 15-Mar-18 19:38:06

My primary school is really good and supportive, but I worry every time I have to deal with a friendship problem, a first aid incident or am speaking unplanned - in case I do something wrong and parents complain (one complained because I read a poem with 'pussycat' in it). My direct line manager also likes to make a big meal out of everything to make herself feel important.

Today, I was playing a video for DT, and in the related videos came one about 'how condoms are made'. I got rid of it and didn't mention it, but now I'm going to worry all night and all day tomorrow that a parent will complain. I get that that's my fuck-up (and my anxiety - I'm sure some people could just shrug it off), but it's just getting exhausting feeling like I can never fail or put a foot wrong and second-guessing everything.

I can't tell if it's my anxiety and I'm overreacting to everything, or if this is normal? It's more the feeling I would expect to get if I was doing heart surgery every day!

OP’s posts: |
Anasnake Thu 15-Mar-18 19:44:41

I hear you ! It's exhausting and you only have to read some of the threads on here to see where this is coming fromflowers

conversationdiva Thu 15-Mar-18 21:32:44

I know the feeling. I’ve had complaints about the smallest things and it does make you paranoid that you’ve done something wrong even when you haven’t. flowers

londonista Thu 15-Mar-18 21:39:21

Just this morning I heard my son's teacher copping an earful from a parent because her daughter got 8 out of 10 in the spelling test. Honestly I couldn't believe it. Fortunately the teacher was having none of it - grabbed the child and said "I really think you're being a bit silly, now come inside at once!". The mother was so shocked she didn't get a chance to object, but if she had I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from butting in.

I guess my point is, for every one parent that are complete dicks, there are at least 10 of us that are only a bit of a dick, very occasionally grin, and will back you up. Is it state or private? I bet you have more support than you realise, it's human nature to focus on the negatives though, isn't it.

How about when you get anxious, take out some old thank you cards from kids and parents and re read them.

thatone Thu 15-Mar-18 23:44:59

Totally get what you mean. I have had completely unexpected issues come up seemingly out of nowhere. It is exhausting having to be a teacher, psychologist, social worker, nurse and nutritionist while at the same time teaching the curriculum.

parrotonmyshoulder Fri 16-Mar-18 06:45:47

Are you fairly new to teaching? I remember constant anxiety like this earlier in my career.
I have ‘grown out of it’ which is a mixture of experience, different schools (where you can make a new mark I guess, without the baggage), gaining specific expertise in particular areas which gives confidence.
Also, which may not help your situation, having my own children has meant that I understand the perspective of parents so differently now. I also don’t have time to worry so much!

Much greater confidence in life in general hit me around age 40 - to the extent that I no longer worry about what others think, so long as I think I’m doing the right thing. I’m much more flexible now and able to change my mind about things that I used to be inflexible about.

All of this has reduced my anxiety. I guess it’s time more than anything. I totally understand how you feel and it’s really draining.

CaptainHarville Fri 16-Mar-18 09:40:19

I know exactly how you feel. I wake up sometimes heart racing remembering something that could be complained about or something I might have forgotten to do.

Made a mistake last week and waiting for the complaint that probably won't come but I'll likely torture myself about for a week or two worrying about it.

On nights out with other parents talking to them has made me realise that one mistake by a teacher means that the parent can just write them off as useless. So you have to be perfect all the time. It annoys me because none of those parents will be perfect at their job all the time.

I hope I start to feel like parrotonmyshoulder as I would really like that greater confidence

Cicera Fri 16-Mar-18 18:54:34

Thanks everyone. Nothing came of the condom thing so I've relaxed a bit!

Are you fairly new to teaching? - well spotted! This is my second year. Last year I also had a much more ballsy, streetwise class who wouldn't have dreamt of running to their mummies about anything, so I didn't have any issues at all!

The kids like me, anyway, so I do have a lot of thankyou letters (maybe 2% with my name spelled right) to keep in my emergency anxiety pile grin

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