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Head or heart - should I apply for the step up with a new baby?

(14 Posts)
CheesecakeAddict Wed 14-Mar-18 17:08:34

Hi all. I need some advice here. I can't really divulge to my friends as they are my colleagues and would be upset if they knew I was looking elsewhere.

Anyway, a job has come up. I think I stand a good chance of getting it. My subject is one being dropped by a lot of state schools because there's so few teachers so it's difficult to find a HoD job with my subject as the specialism.

The school looks great, it's a 45 min journey (which I think is a respectable time) and the pay would be almost double what I am on now. However, I am currently on mat leave, I would be leaving a secure job in a very good department, where I am very happy, with a 15 min commute and I would have to start all over again. It would mean having to pay back my mat pay. The extra time on the commute would mean I would be back for bath and bedtime but miss out on spending any real time with my DD. The job would also require me doing some additional CPD so I can teach another subject to A-Level, so that is my weekends gone. My head tells me I would be stupid to not apply and possibly miss out on a great promotion when jobs in this field are rare. But my heart says to not miss out on the family time for the sake of money and give myself a year to settle down and get used to working with a child and then hope something comes up.

MN staffroom, what do you think? Apply - the extra income would be great, or wait and settle down and hope something else comes up?

appleblossomtree Wed 14-Mar-18 17:14:01

Only you know the answer. I've always been massively career driven. Fully intended to get straight back to work after mat leave. When it came down to it my LO hated nursery. It was distressing all round and all I wanted to do was be at home with him.

I now work PT to keep everything ticking over but my heart very much won in my situation!

There is no right or wrong. This is only my story and I know many people who loved going back to work.

thesandwich Wed 14-Mar-18 17:18:02

Do the sums on what the increase will really mean when you compare the actual hours worked and actual pay once you have considered tax, travel time etc, childcare, repaying mat pay, extra training etc..... also a new school might be less accommodating with no track record re child sickness etc unless you have v good back up childcare.

Pebbleinthesand Wed 14-Mar-18 19:12:26

As PP has said only you can truly know what is best for you and your family and decide what to do but one of my main thoughts on returning part time after MAT leave (I start back on Monday confused) is this: I can't see myself ever looking back on DDs childhood and thinking I wish I'd worked more, but I know it's a very real possibility that I would look back and wish I worked less.

No idea if the balance works as I'm not back yet but I'm hoping three days in work and four days with DD will allow some sense of balance.

Good luck with your decision

mnistooaddictive Wed 14-Mar-18 19:27:14

You will never regret time spent with your child. I was in a similar situation and it hurt but I didn’t apply for the promotion. 11 years later I know I made the right decision.

MissClarke86 Wed 14-Mar-18 19:30:17

I wouldn’t. I’ve been back a few months and am so terribly bitter about having to stay late at work and missing quality time with my baby....I love my job and have always been driven, but it upsets me how much time it takes away from time with her.

That’s my personal opinion though.

backsackcraic Wed 14-Mar-18 19:35:00

A job is a job and there'll be others, I wouldn't jeopardise time with dc and a 45 min commute is a lot with a DC.

Unicorndiscoball Wed 14-Mar-18 20:26:12

I wouldn’t. I moved to a full time job with a long commute and whole School responsibility when Ds was three. Three years later I am beyond exhausted and super stressed.

Rockandrollwithit Thu 15-Mar-18 10:39:37

I took a promotion after returning to work (DS was 9 months). I then became SLT about a year later. The only thing that would make me hesitate in your situation is the commute change. I also have a 45 min commute but have always had that so it made no difference to me. I tend to get in to work very early, which frees me up to leave earlyish on days without meetings, so I can do more than just bath and bedtime. At the weekends I only worked during nap times and when DS had gone to bed.

I'm currently on mat leave with DS2. My husband is going to be a stay at home Dad when I return to work after a year. I really enjoy my job and make no apologies for wanting to progress in my career whilst having children.

Only you can decide, but if you want it, don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Unicorndiscoball Sat 17-Mar-18 06:47:46

My husband is going to be a stay at home Dad when I return to work after a year. I really enjoy my job and make no apologies for wanting to progress in my career whilst having children.
Having a SAHP makes a huge impact on career choices and possibilities. Means that you can focus on work and not worry about responsibility for school/nursery runs etc. I regularly see jobs on TES that I would love to apply for, but logistically they would be impossible. Before having Ds I was at school every day setting up from 7.15am. Now because he attends the school I go to and we have a big commute and long day I don’t get in till 8am every day, because it’s not fair on a five year old to be out the house every day from 6.45am-5.30pm.

Referring back to the OP-there’s no way I’d have the time or patience to have to learn another subject up to A level...

millimat Sat 24-Mar-18 22:47:53

Honestly? Time with your children is more precious than any amount of money.

Noodledoodledoo Sat 31-Mar-18 23:12:56

After two children and doing a 45 minute commute for the past 3 years post first mat leave, come September I am over the moon to be moving schools and being 10 mins away.

I love my school, I am moving to an identical job, but the commute with the nursery pick up deadline has killed me. It is 45 minutes on paper but over the past 3 years it is now closer to 55 mins and losing 2 hours a day work/family time is taking its toll.

If it was me I wouldn't take it.

CheesecakeAddict Sun 01-Apr-18 06:59:20

Thank you all for your advice. The deadline has passed and I didn't go for it. I think I want to enjoy this stage whilst I can smile

Mner Sun 01-Apr-18 07:42:01

It's tricky to know how you'll feel juggling it all before you're in amongst it. It's definitely a good idea to wait but if you do decide that you want a similar job, don't feel guilty about it. Spending lots of time at home and/or part time work are not for everyone. Only you will know what works for you. Just make sure you get some good support in place including a cleaner!

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