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Teaching and time off for fertility appointments/treatment

(20 Posts)
Timpani Mon 12-Mar-18 14:37:05

The upshot is that I do not want to tell my employer what my appointments are for. I've never needed medical evidence at my school previously. Am I required somehow to divulge the nature of my appointments? There will be a few close together I imagine. I don't mind those really high up/in HR knowing but I absolutely do not want my line manager to know. LM is a busybody who has broken my trust previously along similar lines and passed on information they shouldn't have to my colleagues/friends. Any thoughts?

Also, does a GP sick note need to be 100% truthful? I.e. can a GP say that I'm off for "gynae related" stuff?

juliej00ls Mon 12-Mar-18 22:26:52

If you don’t want anyone to know don’t tell anyone. Schools have a lot of gossip. Gynaecologist appointment will suffice. I did it and never told anyone in school. I had one VERY trusted buddy. It’s hard enough without everyone knowing but it can also be a useful distraction being at work. I was never fully honest about where I was but did my best to not be too disruptive even having telephone consultations. I also didn’t think my school would be supportive if I needed another go. On the plus side it all worked out in the end. Good luck by the way ...... hope it goes well.

OrangeHorse Mon 12-Mar-18 22:31:07

Can't help with the appointment stuff I'm afraid but I do think doctors can be creative with sick notes. When I had a miscarriage they asked if I was happy to have that on the sick note or if I wanted them to put something else down instead.

physicskate Tue 13-Mar-18 14:11:02

I just told me line manager hospital appointments... he did get a bit suspicious after a few but just asked if there was any support I needed. Just be factual and don't say any more than you want to.

The letters they send are pretty generic so if you have to show them it generally isn't a dead giveaway.

Why do you need a gp sick note for a hospital appointment?

Timpani Tue 13-Mar-18 17:36:13

Thank you.

I don't need a sick note at all but I did last time I went through this!! This time it's frozen though. That was a long time ago and I do already have DC so they may not be too suspicious. Here's hoping it all works out so I don't need to do it again!

AnduinsGirl Tue 13-Mar-18 21:33:04

We have 2 women currently undergoing fertility treatment and they've chosen to be open about it. Any appointments they have needed have been instantly granted, fully paid. Not going to advise whether you should tell your bosses or not, however I would say that the time taken for treatment by my two colleagues has been quite extensive. If you were not honest, could you maintain that?

Timpani Wed 14-Mar-18 06:54:35

Because it's a frozen cycle I don't need as much time but I will consider if when I find out more. Hospital appointments are paid leave anyway regardless of type. I don't mind SLT knowing but really don't want my line manager/HOD knowing.

Carrotcakeorchocolatemuffin Sat 17-Mar-18 14:46:42

In my LA, fertility treatment is not paid time off. I recently attended SLT attendance management training and recall us clearly being told that it is not a maternity appointment and is not covered as paid leave. It might be worth googling your LA attendance policy?

Timpani Sat 17-Mar-18 18:00:35

That's interesting. If medical appointments are paid time off then surely it should be the same as it is medical after all, not cosmetic.

When I had treatment last time I was open about it. It was all paid and I needed more time than I thought in the end but I did end up going off sick due to complications.

physicskate Sat 17-Mar-18 19:25:17

Wow carrot cake - your la is full of heartless bastards. I hope none of the people implementing that policy never have to go through infertility... it really is the most soul-shattering thing that's ever happened to me. It's broken me as a human being.

Timpani Sat 17-Mar-18 20:42:07

I agree physics. I remember ringing up HR last time (it was many years ago) and the woman told me to book mg appointments outside of school hours as I had plenty of holidays and it was my choice to have fertility treatment...

physicskate Sat 17-Mar-18 21:00:31

In my case, that wouldn't be possible!! I've been having appointments about this for over a year. It's not exactly like surgery, where it happens then you're pregnant, or cured or whatever. It's more like long term treatment, like for chronic illness/ disease.

I would have asked that woman what her children meant to her, and why she couldn't extend the same courtesy to others!!!

PotteringAlong Sat 17-Mar-18 21:06:15

I work for an academy chain and fertility treatment is also unpaid for us as it IS seen as cosmetic rather than medical.

Also, we have to provide hospital / dr’s letters for all appointments (my midwives loved having to write me a letter to confirm my appointments so I could go) so at my school you couldn’t be Wooly and get the time off.

Timpani Sat 17-Mar-18 21:46:20

How the bloody hell is it cosmetic! That's utterly preposterous and discriminatory to boot. I'm sure DH would love to know that his poorly functioning testes/shoddy genetics are merely a cosmetic concern.

Physics, I did tell the woman that it was impossible to schedule appointments out of working hours as hospitals don't work like that and neither does the human body! Thankfully my school were understanding last time. I'd just rather not tell them if I can help them.

PotteringAlong Sun 18-Mar-18 06:43:42

I don’t know. I just know that a colleague was not paid for her IVF time off for that reason.

Rainuntilseptember15 Sun 18-Mar-18 18:17:32

Another reason to dislike academies!

Allthebestnamesareused Sun 18-Mar-18 18:44:48

I think Pottering means elective (ie you choose to do it ) rather than necessary rather than cosmetic, not that it makes it any better

physicskate Sun 18-Mar-18 18:55:00

Elective as much as someone choosing to become pregnant/ planning a pregnancy is!!! What idiots! It's to address an anomalous health condition. It affects mental health exceptionally, which is why free counselling is offered on the nhs when it isn't offered for any other conditions.

Timpani Sun 18-Mar-18 19:26:33

Crazy. It shows just how misunderstood it is sad

PotteringAlong Sun 18-Mar-18 20:46:48

I did mean elective, but I used cosmetic because that was the wording the op had used.

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