Don’t know if I can carry on teaching

[hollytom]

I have been teaching for 11 years now. At first I really enjoyed it but I’ve gradually become more and more disillusioned which I know is not unusual! It started when our old HT left and a new one came in who changed things generally for the worse: increased class sizes, poor behaviour management for example. I became quite stressed at the daily struggle of dealing with challenging behaviour such as children throwing chairs around and it affected my health. I developed psariosis and then shingles then frozen shoulder (s).
I knew something had to change so I asked to go part time as I still liked some aspects of the school such as the other staff but the HT was not agreeable. I therefore gambled on moving schools and I am now working in a jobshare which should be the answer but it doesn’t feel that way.
Even though I am part time I find it difficult to switch off, i don’t feel I have ever particularly settled into my new school even though I have been there 2 years. There have been a few incidents at this school: the HT was extremely rude to me but she did apologise, I have had issues with my TA and issues with the job share. it feels a very cliquey school. Normally I have always got on with people at wherever I have worked.
I also am very unhappy as there is a constant stream of new initiatives throughout the year. The latest example is we have had a new scheme of work introduced this week. It was presented to us the day before half term we have had no training and am meant to start teaching it this week. There is also the constant scrutiny, drop in etc which I should be used to but I’m not.
Part time teaching was going to be the answer I thought but it’s not. I really don’t know whether to try to carry on for a few more years or to try to get a job out of teaching. The problem is I really feel my confidence has been eroded after years of feeling I’m never quite good enough and I worry that I won’t get a job out of teaching or even if I can face the whole job application process. Feeling tearful about it and sick of thinking about it.
The way I see it I have 3 options: keep going telling myself it’s not that bad.
Try for another teaching job.
Get a job out of teaching.
I guess I am in a fortunate position in that my dh is working in a relatively well paid job but I have always worked and had my own money.
Is anyone else in the same boat or has been? Fed up of feeling like this.

[Ishouldntbesolucky]

Try for another job. I'd give it one last chance. Your current school doesn't sound all that good to be honest, and it might be worth a try somewhere else.
If you find somewhere with nice colleagues and a good working environment it will make all the difference. Plus it should stop the erosion of your confidence, so even if you ultimately decide to leave teaching, at least you might feel more positive when selling yourself for a new role.

At least you'd know for certain then.

[Scooby23]

Exactly same boat and also v confused xx

[Scooby23]

Apart from my school lovely, and still really struggling.

[PinkAvocado]

I was similar to you a few years ago. I’m now part time in the independent sector and so happy. The differences in how the school is run are vast and my work life balance is as it should be.

I went to my gp when teaching full time in state sector as I thought I was becoming depressed and he said I should leave my job and see how I felt then if possible. I did and I wasn’t - it was the unreasonable and unsustainable workload and the way I was treated by SLT that had made me feel terrible.

[Mymouthgetsmeintrouble]

I wouldnt just give up what about working in a private school or a smaller state school theres always agency which if you end up somewhere you are not happy with you can move to another placement

[hollytom]

Maybe I should try another school but I am so wary of out of the frying pan...
I just want to go to work do my best and feel that it’s good enough. I don’t really care about dropping money to be honest I will cut back but as I am now in my 40s not sure how easy to get another job anywhere.

[theresnoonequitelikegrandma]

I've been teaching around 15 years and got so fed up of 'new initiatives' and 'targets' that I really thought I would have to leave the profession.....then I made the leap into Special provision in January and I love it! It's challenging, for sure, but I actually feel like I'm really making a difference again!

[nuttyknitter]

Can you try supply for a bit? It's a real eye opener having the chance to work in a variety of different schools and you can get a really good feel for places you think you'd enjoy and those you'd rather avoid.

[Movablefeast]

I am not a teacher but the daughter of one. I agree that you should try a different school or area of teaching before throwing in the towel.

[snowbellj]

I left and have been doing supply for the last 3 years. I love it! My confidence has increased hugely and I really enjoy my days with different kids and classes.

[hollytom]

Thanks for your responses I need to have a think maybe try supply. I certainly am wary of going into another school without knowing enough about it

[Viviennemary]

A new head can make a job you previously enjoyed horrible. And sometimes part-time especially job share can be really stressful with juggling. In your position I think I'd try another school as you previously did enjoy teaching, Do that before you give up the job altogether. Or try an independent school

[hollytom]

Well after feeling more positive I have had an horrendous day. Very challenging behaviour resulting in smashed glass everywhere. Had to remove the rest of the class. Never experienced a day like it. Just feel completely exhausted with it all. Now into a staff meeting to top it all off

[Viviennemary]

You could try writing it all down every night. I think this can help with stress. And then hopefully when you have had a better day things won't look so bad because there will be good and bad days. Sorry you've had such a terrible day today.