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48 replies

Piggywaspushed · 06/12/2017 17:19

Imagine you are a part time teacher who goes on your day off out somewhere unspecified (but definitely not a chemist or supermarket) and on two of these occasions you see a member of staff who is off ill in said place.

A large school but you know the other staff member reasonably well. She is known to suffer from various issues, including, it is assumed stress and/or eating related conditions.

What would your next step be , if anything?

Important disclaimer! I am neither of the staff members in this scenario!

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Wolfiefan · 06/12/2017 17:21

What would I do? Bugger all!
I had a bad back and was told to walk. A lot.
I had anxiety and depression. Part of my recovery involved leaving the house.

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thecatfromjapan · 06/12/2017 17:24

Say hello? Confused

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Badhairday1001 · 06/12/2017 17:26

Nothing of course! People who are off sick are still allowed to go out of the house. The person who has seen the other member of staff is not I assume a medical professional, so needs to just stay out of it.

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Piggywaspushed · 06/12/2017 17:30

I tend to agree but what if you knew the person had just phoned in sick and was a person who was fairly frequently off. Tis does, of course, result in cover.

I'd rather not say where the sick person (let's call her Judy) was but it really isn't somewhere you would go if ill.

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Piggywaspushed · 06/12/2017 17:31

cat I believe hello was said, followed by 'what brings you here this fine work day?'

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Wolfiefan · 06/12/2017 17:31

You "assume" they have stress or eating disorder? It's not your business.
I can think of few places a person with depression (for instance) should be banned from.

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MumGoneMild · 06/12/2017 17:31

Mind your own business.

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thecatfromjapan · 06/12/2017 17:33

You've no idea what is going on. Just forget about it.

As a general rule, it's best to think the best of people until something insists you don't. It's a good way to keep happy, keep being a warm person and keep those frown lines at bay.

And it works pretty well when interpreting people's behaviour, too.

Think about it - if you do anything other than just smile and then forget, you will feel utterly awful when it transpires there's something horrible going on in her life.

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noblegiraffe · 06/12/2017 17:34

I dunno, if you can't go into work because of stress and anxiety related to work that wouldn't stop you from going out of the house completely and in fact getting out of the house might help relieve the anxiety/stress and enable you to get back to work?

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Piggywaspushed · 06/12/2017 17:34

No not my business but this being teaching wolfie I think lots of people thought the scattered days off were maybe related to stress.

Not being the telling on people type I have never ever asked Judy why she has been off.

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Piggywaspushed · 06/12/2017 17:34

Can I just remind everyone I have minded my business!!

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MaisyPops · 06/12/2017 17:36

It's an awkward one.

If they were signed off sick then I'd say hello, see how they are, wish them well and say nothing to school at all. After all, sometimes that is part of the recovery for things like work related stress.

If however it's something like a local leisure centre/food court/cinema/hobby location and they one of those people who are forever taking odd days here and there (which piles work on everyone else) then it would annoy me and make me view ghem as someone who's a lazy swine.
I don't think hand on heart I could mention anything to SLT (they probably already know colleague is taking a lend) but the irritated side of me would probably say something in conversatiom when they were next in like 'enjoy your lunch date at local cafe'. Yes, it's a bit bitchy but why should everyone else pick up work because someone calls in all the time.

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Piggywaspushed · 06/12/2017 17:37

To be clear, one thing I do know is that the reason Judy gave for absence was never stress.

But what teacher does call in / email in and say' I don't feel like coming to work today because it is too much'. We would all make up a stomach complaint/ appointment, cold wouldn't we? I know I would.

Which is why so many SLTs say there is no problem with morale at their school...

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MaisyPops · 06/12/2017 17:38

Should add, if it's a reasonably innocuous location then I'd just.ignore it and move on. There could be all sorts going on.

I'd only be irritated if it's quite.clearly the type of thing where you don't go when ill.

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Wolfiefan · 06/12/2017 17:38

But you're posting on here about someone's private situation. You have no idea why they were off or how unwell they are. It does come across as judgey.
And I taught. The idea that you can't take time off as others have to cover isn't helpful when you're ill. The guilt does no one any good. Surely if this person is often ill then paid cover is brought in?

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noblegiraffe · 06/12/2017 17:39

I'm assuming that the school will have sickness procedures that will kick in after a certain number of absences so should pick up on it if it is that often.

I'd be annoyed if I was covering her all the time though.

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PurpleDaisies · 06/12/2017 17:40

To be clear, one thing I do know is that the reason Judy gave for absence was never stress.

How do you know what she says to HR?

People who are off with depression are actively encouraged to get out of the house.

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MaisyPops · 06/12/2017 17:40

Piggywaspushed
I worked with someone who self certified for sickness when it was stress.

However, she rested at home in line with her reason, nipped to the supermarket etc
If someone had seen her nipping to yoga then they'd be well within their rights to be pissed off that people are picking up tje slack so 'sick' colleague can do yoga.

When my colleague was signed off with stress she did all sorts to get herself back on her feet and everyone aupported her.

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PersianCatLady · 06/12/2017 17:41

What if they have a mental health issue that you don't know about and they are currently having an issue that means they need to have time off??

Do you think that you can tell what is wrong with a person from staffroom gossip without being a doctor??

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Piggywaspushed · 06/12/2017 17:41

Not at all 8wolfie8. To come clean my friend told me she had seen Judy and I mad no committal noises and mentioned maybe stress etc..

Friend then gleefully told me next day she had reported Judy and I am pretty appalled and I wondered if MN agreed. My friend likes the drama and power, I suspect.

Paid supply is only brought in on bad cover days or for pre know absences. Sometimes not even then . We have cover teachers at my school. But they are also supposed to be admin support which they never get round to doing.

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Piggywaspushed · 06/12/2017 17:42

We don't have HR!

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Badhairday1001 · 06/12/2017 17:43

I'm a teacher and don't speculate as to why people are off, it's non of my business. I just wish them well and hope they're feeling better soon.
You are not minding your own business as you are on Mumsnet talking about other people's business. It's obviously bothering you.
You don't know what's wrong with Judy so you have no idea what she should or shouldn't be doing. Just concentrate on your own life, you will be happier in the long run.

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MaisyPops · 06/12/2017 17:43

Surely if this person is often ill then paid cover is brought in?
Things are often covered internally first e.g. cover supervisors, peoplr with leadership time
Someonr has to plan and arrange cover lessons
Insurance only pays out for supply after X number of days

People taking regular days here and there is a massive pain for everyone. People might grumble about cover in a light hearted way but it must be really annoying covering for someone who is off so oftrn bit seems to be enjoying the break.

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PurpleDaisies · 06/12/2017 17:43

However, she rested at home in line with her reason, nipped to the supermarket etc
If someone had seen her nipping to yoga then they'd be well within their rights to be pissed off that people are picking up the slack so 'sick' colleague can do yoga.

Yoga (and other exercise) is great for helping with stress. That sounds like exactly the sort of thing that a stressed person would do to get themselves back on their feet. Confused

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Piggywaspushed · 06/12/2017 17:43

Persian I agree with you. Do please read what I said.

Everyone does think I am the person who saw 'Judy' I really am not! The person who saw her is the type to tell everyone what she saw!

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