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shall I send 6 bottles of wine to the staffroom or email individuals, or both?

(25 Posts)
traviata Sat 02-Dec-17 13:19:09

DD is yr11. Her teachers are mostly excellent, dedicated and hard working. DD doesn't like all of them and doesn't get on with them all, but as far as I can see they all do a good job.

I'd like to say thanks before the GCSE madness begins, but I shy away from individual emails because I don't want to seem like I'm sucking up, particularly to teachers where DD doesn't really gel with them, and would prefer to do something anonymously.

I thought about an anonymous gift to the staffroom, marked for Year 11, but what would happen to a box of 6 bottles in a big secondary school (1500 students)? Would they just disappear in the hubbub, and anyone who wasn't around at the relevant time would never hear about them?

TheForgetfulCat Sat 02-Dec-17 13:23:10

Rather than personal emails, how about an email to the Head of Year or even the overall Head saying how much all the Y11 teachers' efforts have been appreciated?

Alongside that, while my parenting experience is mostly in primary I doubt that bottles of wine or boxes of chocolates would fail to find an appreciative home smile

joopy79 Sat 02-Dec-17 13:24:16

They would probably be raffled or something. Teachers can't drink at school. Can't you label the bottles so they get to the right person?

IJoinedJustToPostThis Sat 02-Dec-17 13:25:01

If you want them to go to individuals, you need to put the individuals' names on. Otherwise it'll just be 'nice thought, bit odd...' and they will definitely disappear in the hubbub.

Teachers don't usually drink in school, so I guess either they would be nabbed by less scrupulous staff or perhaps end up in a raffle.

It isn't necessary/expected to send anything at all in secondary. Most teachers I know would be most touched if your dd wrote a thank you in her own words. Only for the ones she actually rates, though grin

noblegiraffe Sat 02-Dec-17 13:25:29

The thing with 6 bottles of wine is that they aren't going to be opened and drank in the staffroom. If you want them to be taken home, then send them to the individual teachers you want to receive them, but if you're expecting them to be shared, it's not going to happen.

MyBrilliantDisguise Sat 02-Dec-17 13:28:07

The problem is that if you send them in without saying who they're for, then nobody will know who they're for and there's a danger someone else entirely might take them home.

There's also a problem in that if you want to give only some of your daughter's teachers a gift, the others will realise they've been left out, know it's because your child doesn't like them and then that will affect their relationship with your child.

I would wait until after the exams are over and then put a card and a bottle into the school office for the teachers you want to thank.

LockedOutOfMN Sat 02-Dec-17 13:45:05

I agree with TheForgetfulCat. Also as a secondary teacher I really really don't think that your email saying thank you would be considered sucking up by anyone. I would email them individually but if you don't want to, email the head of year (and copy in the head, if you wish).

I'd also send something that can be shared more easily than bottles of wine, perhaps chocolates, fudge or biscuits?

RavenWings Sat 02-Dec-17 13:47:23

Just send in a big box of chocolates etc. Sending an anonymous box of wine bottles is a bit weird, I think my staff would be a bit bemused.

Sending a nice email definitely isn't sucking up! I would send it to them and headteacher.

OlennasWimple Sat 02-Dec-17 13:50:17

How about a big box of nice biscuits (those will definitely be appreciated in the staff room!) with a thank you note to accompany them? Lots of nice Christmas selections around at the moment!

ThunderboltsLightning Sat 02-Dec-17 13:52:49

An email to the principal will be far more appreciated than any bottle of wine. Anonymous donations would probably end up in a raffle as nobody would claim them.

PotteringAlong Sat 02-Dec-17 13:58:10

I imagine it wouldn’t even make it into the staffroom. It will be kept in the office for raffle prizes.

Gruach Sat 02-Dec-17 14:01:38

Heavens - why on earth would you send an anonymous gift? They'd probably the bomb disposal unit.

Unless you meant just not individually named? Personally I wouldn't. By yr 11 it's for your DD to thank them via exam effort.

Labradoodliedoodoo Sat 02-Dec-17 14:02:35

Email the head and upper head about how pleased you are with specific teachers and can they pass on your thanks. Talk about their specific qualities.

eddiemairswife Sat 02-Dec-17 14:10:54

Oh for the days when you could drink in school. We used to have a boozy buffet on the last day of term, while the head did extra duty at an extended lunchtime. I also remember regularly going to the pub at Friday lunchtimes.

capercaillie Sat 02-Dec-17 14:13:12

I’m sure most staff will have some sort of Christmas do and wine would be gratefully received.

A letter to staff (via head of year or head) would get put up in our staff room as well

noblegiraffe Sat 02-Dec-17 14:17:45

Most schools have a Christmas do, that doesn't mean that most staff attend it.
If you want certain teachers to get praise or recognition, you're going to have to name them.

juliej00ls Sat 02-Dec-17 14:46:37

I'm a secondary school teacher and would really appreciate an email. I would probably be walking on air after a bottle of wine. A really nice gesture....go for it. It is you saying thank you not your child and when parents have sent me thank you......it is lovely. Nicest feedback ever.

BackforGood Sat 02-Dec-17 14:53:33

Agree with everyone else. E-mail the HT, or someone else in Senior management saying that you appreciate the hard work put in by all her teachers, and would like to make a particular mention of X,Y, Z for all they've done (give example if you can).
6 bottles to share can't work as they can't be drunk at school so it would be a bit odd as can't take 1/2 or 1/3 bottle home. If you want to give a physical gift them biscuits / chocs are easier to share, although even then some schools the staff tend to go to subject departments rather than 'the' staffroom.
But an actual card, letter, or e-mail to the HT would be the best thing.

traviata Sat 02-Dec-17 16:27:54

OK, these are really helpful, thanks. I suppose I imagined them being added to a staff do, but of course, the bottles won't be drunk at school. Not like when I was at school back in medieval times.

I'll work on some emails and think about biscuits!

LockedOutOfMN Sun 03-Dec-17 01:17:16

The staff do, if anyone has the energy / will to organise one, will probably be at a restaurant (and definitely paid for by the staff themselves) so probably no opportunity to BYOB, and, as a previous poster said, some staff can't or won't attend.

Piggywaspushed Sun 03-Dec-17 07:52:06

Please do send emails (believe it or not, some staff keep them for evidence files for pay progressions, such is the world we live in) or - actually - even nicer actual physical cards.

Be careful who you send a group card or email to. I have heard of them being received by SLT members who think generic praise for the school is specifically for them and then don't forward or share! ime a head of year is more likely to send praise on tot he right people.

I think it is lovely that you want to do this now rather than after the exams. We teachers genuinely appreciate parental gratitude and tokens of thanks. It is astonishingly rare at secondary school level.

Piggywaspushed Sun 03-Dec-17 07:55:09

Do any teachers still go to the pub Friday lunchtime eddie? Those were the days! I didn't ever drink but it was lovely to have down time. In those days lunch was actually an hour. If we did this now we a) wouldn't have time in our 35 minute lunchtime and b) would be told off.

eddiemairswife Sun 03-Dec-17 10:48:51

I've been retired some years, but I doubt they can spare the time anymore, and it probably be disapproved of by senior management.

LockedOutOfMN Sun 03-Dec-17 12:50:27

We're not allowed off site during the school day.

Anyway, I have detention one lunchtime a week, duty another two, academic clinic on the fourth, and a department meeting on the fifth; most of my colleagues are the same.

EvilTwins Sun 03-Dec-17 20:14:23

Send individual emails or cards if you can. Everyone loves to know that they have made a difference.

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