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A school mum has sent me a FB friends request

(23 Posts)
HeidiGer Sun 26-Nov-17 22:18:09

I know I should not accept it. But it makes me feel guilty.

Do you have parents as FB friends?

DonkeyOaty Sun 26-Nov-17 22:20:14

Your FB should be locked down. You shouldn't be easily findable.

Why feel guilty about adhering to guidelines?

Msqueen33 Sun 26-Nov-17 22:22:04

No no no. I heard from a friend who was at a TA at my dc’s school that a lot of mums friend requested our rather nice and some might say good looking PE teacher.

I am friends IRL and on fb with my dc’s old LSA though.

AlexanderHamilton Sun 26-Nov-17 22:24:21

Surely that's against school social media policy? Dh doesn't even have dd's best friend's mum as a friend because he teaches in the same school.

chocolateorangeowls Sun 26-Nov-17 22:27:07

No don’t accept you are just asking for a load of trouble.

tampinfuminragin Sun 26-Nov-17 22:30:11

If you feel you have to accept, put her on a restricted list.

10kToBe Sun 26-Nov-17 22:31:51

@DonkeyOaty Facebook changed its policies quite a few years ago now - you can no longer hide yourself from searches.

Wolfiefan Sun 26-Nov-17 22:31:54

Don't feel guilty. Explain you're not allowed to do this.
Ex teacher.
Parent!

ivenoideawhatimdoing Sun 26-Nov-17 22:33:33

My sister is a teacher.

When she was an NQT she accepted the parents who added her, all was fine until one particular mother started inboxing her every time homework was set for help or every time she had a question or something to say about her child.

When my sister didn't respond she would send multiple question marks.

It came to a head when child came in with a note saying they couldn't complete the homework as she hadn't replied.

She told the head and it ended pretty sharpish.

Now she goes by her maiden name and accepts no one.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats Sun 26-Nov-17 22:33:58

I have one teacher from my kids school but know her in rl and she's been on my list before she started there.

I'd not accept it, our schools headteacher actually put a note in the monthly newsletter a few months ago asking parents not to add and make sure their children didn't add teachers private facebook as it put the teachers in an awkward position as they are forbidden from accepting.

Havingahorridtime Sun 26-Nov-17 22:34:40

At my child's old school (small prep indie) loads of parents were Facebook friends with the teachers. I found it odd and unprofessional.

DonkeyOaty Sun 26-Nov-17 22:35:00

Yes I know. Use a different name, no photo, no employment or edu history, no date of birth, leave bio blank. That's what I meant, sorry.

fucksakefay Sun 26-Nov-17 22:40:21

There's at least five teachers or TAs I know who are also parents at our small school and are fb friends with lots of other parents through knowing them as a parent I presume. So am not sure how a ban on accepting could work with that.

AlexanderHamilton Sun 26-Nov-17 22:46:38

Dh just doesn't accept them fay but I do. He will add them the day Dd (& her friend's) leave the school.

Uokbing Mon 27-Nov-17 20:29:57

I know I should not accept it. But it makes me feel guilty

What?! Why does it make you feel guilty? Are you friends with this parent outside of school? Why would you care if they were upset if they didn't accept your friend request?

I am actually friends with a couple of people who are parents at my school because they work there and so I know them in that way, and I know they are really professional. For this reason there are a couple of TA parents who I am not friends with too smile

NovemberWitch Mon 27-Nov-17 20:33:32

Never. Give her a copy of your school’s guidelines on social media and staff. Tighten up your security settings.

Doomhutch Mon 27-Nov-17 20:49:39

Ha! I had this (most parents are aware that it wouldn't be accepted). One of the worst parents in the school! That was what alerted me to the fact that FB had made names searchable. I declined and didn't speak to her about it (the child wasn't even in my class!), she never brought it up.

I honestly don't care if parents can search me, as all they get is a name and a picture of me wearing lots of stuff over my face!

Wilburissomepig Mon 27-Nov-17 22:29:45

In a TA and have had multiple requests from Y8 kids. I ignore.

wibblywobblyfish Sat 02-Dec-17 08:30:32

Our policy states that we cannot be social media friends with students or their parents until the child has left the school for a minimum of three years. Pretty standard and common sense.

MaisyPops Sat 02-Dec-17 08:34:12

Decline the request and think nothing of it.
You have a professional relationship.
You are not friends.

Ohyesiam Sat 02-Dec-17 08:55:13

Don't you mean I know I shouldn't accept it?hmm

LyndaLaHughes Sat 02-Dec-17 09:41:13

My school stipulates that we are not allowed to add parents or children on social media. This is pretty standard and any school that does not have such a policy is opening themselves up to all manner of problems. It's different when you have an existing relationship etc but you really do have to be very careful. Just decline the request and if your school doesn't have a policy cite your union as recommending it instead.

RavenWings Sun 03-Dec-17 20:20:09

Don't accept it, the parent is ridiculous for looking you up and trying to add you. I wouldn't add a hairdresser/accountant/doctor, teachers shouldn't be any different.

As mentioned above I can imagine the parents that do this wanting to use it as a 24/7 means of access to you.

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