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Should my employer protect me from this?

(15 Posts)
neonfrog Thu 18-May-17 00:53:28

I've posted this elsewhere but thought it might be better put here.

I've been on several health & safety courses and I'm sure I remember it briefly being mentioned that employers must protect your emotional well being/mental health etc. Is this true?

I've had an issue for a year now which has really affected me. It's knocked my confidence and really hurt me. I spent so much time thinking about it it's made me ill and I went through a period of hair loss because of the stress.

I will try and explain in as short a way as possible. I work in a group of 7 women, I started 12 months ago and another person joined a month after me (let's call her M). Since day one M has ignored me completely, no talking no eye contact no communication at all. It hasn't gone unnoticed by my other colleagues but as she talks to them nobody seems bothered and it has affected the job at times. We sometimes have to pair up and we are never put together. A complaint was made about me after the first 2 months (about something taken out of context and some of it lies) I felt my manager at the time took the complaint far to seriously. I'm pretty sure M made the complaint but I can't prove it. I mentioned the problem I was having with M to my manager and told her the effect it was having on me she basically said it was something she couldn't get involved in and that I had to deal with it myself! Her advice was to confront M. Inside I was in agony, how could I confront M about totally ignoring me, it felt like she really had it in for me and I didn't know what she was capable of especially after the false allegations possibly made by her. It's sounds ridiculous I know but to be completely ignored as if you are not there is actually very draining. It's so disrespectful and embarrassing. I have an appraisal coming up and wondered if it was worth mentioning again ( new manager now) but I don't want to cause any trouble or feel let down again and not understood and left looking a fool.

Should my work be doing more to protect me from this situation? Where do I stand legally?

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Thu 18-May-17 00:57:18

What would you like them to do?

neonfrog Thu 18-May-17 01:06:31

Talk to M and find out what the problem actually is. Point out to her that it isn't professional behaviour and she isn't doing her job correctly. I'd love it to be resolved but can't see how this can happen.

veneeroftheweek Thu 18-May-17 21:08:55

Does your manager realise that your colleague is completely blanking you, rather than the two of you just not getting on particularly well?

It's really unprofessional behaviour. I think I would have to say something. It sounds awful.

neonfrog Fri 19-May-17 16:41:12

I've finally let it all out, after waiting it out for the past year I got the chance to speak out. I do feel a bit better but am a little worried about the consequences. My manager is going to speak to M, she agreed it is bullying and could see how much it had affected me. I'm not after a friend, I just want respect and communication.

veneeroftheweek Fri 19-May-17 18:55:45

Well done for letting it out. Everyone deserves a bit of civility. I hope it gets resolved and things start to improve for you.

neonfrog Fri 19-May-17 20:00:32

I hope it's doesn't end up a be careful what you wish for situation!

It will be very strange if M suddenly starts talking/communicating with me. She will hate me even more because it's sort of being forced. Slightly worried she's a bit unhinged and could flip but hopefully not.

LaContessaDiPlump Mon 22-May-17 18:26:05

Hi neon - I saw your post on the other thread and looked you up here, because I am a nosy bugger grin I hope today has gone ok for you and that she hasn't flipped!

neonfrog Mon 22-May-17 19:51:38

Thanks for being nosey smile

The person who I reported it to has the day off today so hopefully things will be addressed tomorrow. I will update if I survive

LaContessaDiPlump Mon 22-May-17 21:30:04

That must be a bit nerve-wracking for you! Fingers crossed that she acts like a grown-up and is civil - you're not looking for a bosom buddy after all, just professional behaviour.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Mon 22-May-17 21:33:30

Can you ask for ACAS mediators to be involved? They listen to both sides separately and then work to broker a working relationship. Also may be worth considering raising with HR about having trained mental health first aiders in your workplace for future support for people with mental health issues.

neonfrog Tue 23-May-17 16:02:31

Still no change in her behaviour yet, not sure if she's been spoken to or not. Do you think my manager will say when she has spoken to M? As I left I noticed unusual behaviour, she did look rattled and was deep in conversation with someone we don't work with.

Another night wondering.

LaContessaDiPlump Wed 24-May-17 06:28:44

Hmm. I don't reckon your manager will say anything unless the woman reacts badly. Therefore let's hope your manager says nothing!

neonfrog Wed 24-May-17 14:18:11

My manager called me aside today to ask how things were going. I said I was still waiting for her to talk to M. Apparently M was spoken to on Friday. There has been no change at all. I asked if any reasons had been given for why she treats me this was and nothing was given, she just closed down. It is a relief that my manager actually understands the situation and she is going to have a stronger word with M.

LaContessaDiPlump Mon 05-Jun-17 08:47:23

How's it going op? Has anything changed? I hope it's improved for you.

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