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TA doesn't like me 🙁

(19 Posts)
TAtobe Mon 15-May-17 14:23:14

Apologies in advance for a long post. I started volunteering at my local school in September last year as a part of my TA course. I was happy and excited. There was a different TA at that time but around October the current one was assigned to the class I was in. And I think she's got some sort of problem with me. Whenever I ask her something she just pretends she doesn't hear me and mumbles something. Never smiles, never replied to my "hello". I have an attendance sheet that needs to be signed by a member of staff, whenever I ask her she finds excuses not to sign it or tells me: But I don't know I you were here on Monday! If I ask her if she needs any help she always refuses even though I see things falling off while she's carrying them but still is a NO!
One day the teacher asked me to set up the tables. She comes in and starts watching me, then comes up and asks: Did Mrs X ask you to do it? I say yes, then she asks again:Did she?? I have a feeling that she treats me like some stupid person who's not capable of doing things. I've been there since September and never really spoken to her so I'm not sure how I might have upset her. There is another person who works in the same class, she is from an agency, started in January and does 1:1 but when a child isn't in she helps around. The TA is completely different with her, gives her instructions, asks her to lead a class to the hall or outside and I'm standing there feeling useless. I've been through a lot in the past 2 years and trying to get my confidence and self esteem back but she just makes me feel lower and lower and useless, stupid and incapable of following instructions. How can I develop and learn if I'm not being allowed to do things. The only think I can think of is that English isn't my first language, I haven't got a strong accent but there's still an accent and maybe she thinks I'm just some stupid foreigner. I'm an educated person with lots of hobbies and interests but feel stupid. I don't think I would stay at this school even if they offered me a job purely because of her. By the way the children love me.

2Creamteas Mon 15-May-17 20:04:34

I would completely ignore this TA, she obviously feels threatened by your presence for some reason. Take your instruction from the teacher and ask them to sign your attendance form. If it carries on, ask for experience in another class.

OhTallulah Mon 15-May-17 20:12:31

Is there someone to go to if you have a problem with your course?
I might think about having a quiet word with her line manager if you really think it might have something to do with your first language.
The bit about her asking you twice reads to me as if she's questioning whether your telling the truth or not and you shouldn't be spoken to like that.

ChickenBhuna Mon 15-May-17 20:14:30

Ask her if there's a problem. It may not be personal , it may be that there are other issues at play here. Maybe she's overworked and sees managing your tasks (even to a small degree) as one thing thing too many to do.

I've been in a similar situation and just came out with it , the person I thought had a problem with me was having ridiculous amounts delegated to her by the class teacher and was very stressed. She is actually one of my favourite colleagues now we've cleared the air!

Good luck in getting to the bottom of this :-)

2Creamteas Mon 15-May-17 20:20:12

Don't forget the arrangement for the school to support you in your studies works both ways. They help you achieve the work aspect of your course but you are an extra adult available to them to work with the children- for free.

TAtobe Mon 15-May-17 20:39:51

Thank you for your replies. I don't think there is a problem with her managing my tasks as she isn't doing any. I've stopped asking her to sign my attendance long time ago, I do try to stay out of her way in a polite way and not ask her anything unless necessary. I know I do it for free and I'm not being treated as a member of staff( although was told by the head that all helpers at school were treated as members of staff) but I do enjoy it. Seeing kids' happy faces in the morning, asking me for help, saying hellos and goodbyes even outside of school makes up for it. She was once in my situation so she should understand I'm not there to take over her job I need the experience. She seems to be like that only with me as there are people coming and going and she's completely different with them.

TheBakeryQueen Mon 15-May-17 20:43:20

You need to speak to someone senior, this is completely unacceptable behaviour.

ChickenBhuna Mon 15-May-17 20:55:48

I genuinely don't think there's any harm in saying "I'm sorry , I think we got off on the wrong foot. Can we start again? Do you want any help with that?" Etc. If you are stonewalled continue to make an effort , ask her about her child/cat/stamp collection. Be the bigger person , just get through the placement because she may actually know that you don't like her and is now reacting to that.

Schools are difficult places OP. Far too many women in one place for there to be no bitchiness or backstabbing. Block it out and be the one that bucks the trend.

TAtobe Mon 15-May-17 21:15:08

Thank you @ChickenBhuna. That's what I'm trying to do and be the bigger person. I have absolutely nothing against her, I always smile and am polite. I can't say that I don't like her as I don't even know her.

ChickenBhuna Mon 15-May-17 21:26:18

I hope you get it sorted OP. I love my job and never find the children quite as tricky as I do the general working environment. I've lost count of the amount of times I've covered my ears because such and such said something bad about another person. I just wish women were more supportive of each other sometimes.

cansu Wed 17-May-17 19:27:29

She sounds like a cow. Continue to be polite but maybe you are being too nice. Some people will behave like this until they are called out. Might be worth thinking about asking her if there is anything bothering her or possibly approaching person who line manages the TA and asking for a move to another class.

NotYoda Fri 19-May-17 19:13:50

She's probably lazy, demotivated and threatened by you.

I'd ignore her as much as you can and be polite when you have to interact with her. . She has no power or influence over you.

NotYoda Fri 19-May-17 19:43:37

I'm a TA Btw

CandODad Sat 20-May-17 07:15:45

Some people see volunteers and people getting training in school and think it threatens their job. She sounds like one of them. Just keep it civil and polite and take your lead from the teacher.

SuperPug Sat 20-May-17 07:19:42

So many of us put up with this in schools...
Please, please report on Monday- write down the various issues with dates if possible, so it comes across and professional and succinct.

SuperPug Sat 20-May-17 07:20:09

*as professional
Sorry, phone keyboard.

ErnesttheBavarian Sat 20-May-17 07:36:32

I would discuss it with whoever is 'in charge' of you. It is completely unacceptable, and I'm sorry she's treating you like this, and making you feel bad.

Totally off topic, but I wanted also to say that your English is amazing. If it is your second language, normally you learn to speak first, then other skills follow, writing often being the last. Even with a slight accent, your spoken English must be flawless, as your writing is! You'd never guess from reading your posts that English isn't your 1st language. I'm totally jealous. I live and work in another country, and speak another language, and I'm sure I'll never be as good in that second language as you are. Totally off topic, but I am seriously jealous and impressed!

DOn't let her get you down! Deal with it, and sort her out. She has no right to treat you like that or make you feel bad!

TAtobe Sat 20-May-17 19:47:35

Thank you for your responses. My placement finishes in July. I'm biting my tongue and smile every time. She's been working there for quite some time and I'm pretty sure it will be her word against mine. I just want it be finished but I know I'm going to miss the children. @CandODad thats exactly what my DH was saying. Thank you for your kind words @ErnesttheBavarian smile I used to watch lots of BBC News with subtitles on and that helped a lot wink

hmmmum Sat 20-May-17 19:55:26

I hope it works out for you. You sound like a lovely TA

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