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Should the teacher have told me this at parents' evening?

20 replies

Ilikesweetpeas · 18/11/2016 18:15

Had parents' evening on Monday for my DS who is in y5. Came out feeling amazing, told he was very bright, lovely child, doing really well etc. Lacked confidence in maths, but not ability. Son comes home today very upset as he has been moved down a group in maths. I'm not questioning the teachers judgement about this, but surely I could have been told on Monday? I feel that I want to discuss this with her but what's the best way to go about it without it sounding like sour grapes?

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Ilikesweetpeas · 18/11/2016 21:00

Hopeful bump!

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CauliflowerSqueeze · 18/11/2016 21:02

Just ring and say how pleased you were about how he was doing but that he was upset because he's under the impression he has moved down a group and you wanted to check out what was going on in case he's got the wrong end of the stick.

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DrScholl · 18/11/2016 21:02

maybe she marked some tests

I would get some perspective

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hesterton · 18/11/2016 21:02

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zzzzz · 18/11/2016 21:05

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Meadows76 · 18/11/2016 21:06

Do teachers ordinarily contact parents to let them know of group/set changes? If they do then I would say teacher should have said something, but if it's par for the course not to be told then I think it's reasonable not to discuss it at parents evening.

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SpookyPotato · 18/11/2016 21:08

I think it could be a good thing OP. I felt useless when I was bottom of the top set, but really thrived in the second set.

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Heirhelp · 18/11/2016 21:12

Moving tables is not just about your child it is also about fitting the whole class into groups. After reflecting on your conversation she has probably then decided to see if this group suits your son better.

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fourcorneredcircle · 18/11/2016 21:19

In my NQT year set three, year nine reduced me to tears, on my birthday.

HOD went in and read them the riot act and told them it was my birthday. Their faces were a grief stricken picture... such a funny age. "Foul innocence" is how I describe it.

Then, magically in year ten they get better. And you get to start to see the adults they will become :)

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fourcorneredcircle · 18/11/2016 21:20

Oh... errrr wrong thread... sorry Blush

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llangennith · 18/11/2016 21:35

GrinGrinGrin

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user789653241 · 19/11/2016 07:00

Not a teacher.
My ds was on 2nd table for writing all year last year. Still he got working at greater depth for attainment. 2nd set doesn't mean you are not doing good.
Maybe teacher think if he can relax more and become confident, he can do better?

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Ilikesweetpeas · 19/11/2016 07:10

Thank you for the advice and perspective. I hope that it will develop his confidence and we've talked about how great it is that he's now with his best friend. The surprise came from being told how well he's doing with no indication that a change in group was needed however hopefully this will help him progress.

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RandomDent · 19/11/2016 07:17

Are you sure the teacher has "table sets"? I haven't done that for years.

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GoodyGoodyGumdrops · 19/11/2016 07:55

We were in the same situation in Y5/6. It was poorly presented to dd (and us), as we had been told throughout Y5 that she was 'at risk' of being moved down from top set, then at the end of Y5 were told that she was doing fine, so it came as a shock at the beginning of Y6 to find that she was in second set. However, second set was the right place for her. As a PP said, she had the opportunity to shine at the top of a set, rather than have her confidence knocked at the bottom of a set.

I don't think that bad news was held back from you at PE, because this may not be bad news at all.

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Pud2 · 19/11/2016 11:10

What's important is that your child is taught and challenged at their level. Don't let them worry about what group/table/chair they sit in.

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SawdustInMyHair · 19/11/2016 17:31

Are you sure the teacher has "table sets"? I haven't done that for years.

Yes! Ghastly practice, bad for high and low attainers alike. I have a girl with severe learning difficulties in my class, and when I took it over no one wanted to sit on a table with her. Not because they don't like her, but because the previous teacher had ability tables and so they thought it meant they were on the 'bottom' table. Got them over that idea pretty quick! Had a parent ask which table their child was on, too, and was very clear that that is Not How I Do Things, but other parents I'm sure think their child is on this or that table for a reason.

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MiaowTheCat · 21/11/2016 09:53

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MiaowTheCat · 21/11/2016 09:54

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LindyHemming · 21/11/2016 21:35

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