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Should the teacher have told me this at parents' evening?

(21 Posts)
Ilikesweetpeas Fri 18-Nov-16 18:15:53

Had parents' evening on Monday for my DS who is in y5. Came out feeling amazing, told he was very bright, lovely child, doing really well etc. Lacked confidence in maths, but not ability. Son comes home today very upset as he has been moved down a group in maths. I'm not questioning the teachers judgement about this, but surely I could have been told on Monday? I feel that I want to discuss this with her but what's the best way to go about it without it sounding like sour grapes?

Ilikesweetpeas Fri 18-Nov-16 21:00:42

Hopeful bump!

CauliflowerSqueeze Fri 18-Nov-16 21:02:13

Just ring and say how pleased you were about how he was doing but that he was upset because he's under the impression he has moved down a group and you wanted to check out what was going on in case he's got the wrong end of the stick.

DrScholl Fri 18-Nov-16 21:02:31

maybe she marked some tests

I would get some perspective

hesterton Fri 18-Nov-16 21:02:54

She should really have told you but to be honest, it is probably good for him in terms of giving him a chance to be best/higher performer in the group.

zzzzz Fri 18-Nov-16 21:05:46

I asked for my daughter to be put down a set for exactly the same reason. She got an A* at GCSE and is taking Alevel. Sounds like a good idea if confidence is the issue.

Meadows76 Fri 18-Nov-16 21:06:11

Do teachers ordinarily contact parents to let them know of group/set changes? If they do then I would say teacher should have said something, but if it's par for the course not to be told then I think it's reasonable not to discuss it at parents evening.

SpookyPotato Fri 18-Nov-16 21:08:47

I think it could be a good thing OP. I felt useless when I was bottom of the top set, but really thrived in the second set.

Heirhelp Fri 18-Nov-16 21:12:41

Moving tables is not just about your child it is also about fitting the whole class into groups. After reflecting on your conversation she has probably then decided to see if this group suits your son better.

fourcorneredcircle Fri 18-Nov-16 21:19:42

In my NQT year set three, year nine reduced me to tears, on my birthday.

HOD went in and read them the riot act and told them it was my birthday. Their faces were a grief stricken picture... such a funny age. "Foul innocence" is how I describe it.

Then, magically in year ten they get better. And you get to start to see the adults they will become smile

fourcorneredcircle Fri 18-Nov-16 21:20:16

Oh... errrr wrong thread... sorry blush

llangennith Fri 18-Nov-16 21:35:45


irvineoneohone Sat 19-Nov-16 07:00:22

Not a teacher.
My ds was on 2nd table for writing all year last year. Still he got working at greater depth for attainment. 2nd set doesn't mean you are not doing good.
Maybe teacher think if he can relax more and become confident, he can do better?

Ilikesweetpeas Sat 19-Nov-16 07:10:31

Thank you for the advice and perspective. I hope that it will develop his confidence and we've talked about how great it is that he's now with his best friend. The surprise came from being told how well he's doing with no indication that a change in group was needed however hopefully this will help him progress.

RandomDent Sat 19-Nov-16 07:17:07

Are you sure the teacher has "table sets"? I haven't done that for years.

GoodyGoodyGumdrops Sat 19-Nov-16 07:55:01

We were in the same situation in Y5/6. It was poorly presented to dd (and us), as we had been told throughout Y5 that she was 'at risk' of being moved down from top set, then at the end of Y5 were told that she was doing fine, so it came as a shock at the beginning of Y6 to find that she was in second set. However, second set was the right place for her. As a PP said, she had the opportunity to shine at the top of a set, rather than have her confidence knocked at the bottom of a set.

I don't think that bad news was held back from you at PE, because this may not be bad news at all.

Pud2 Sat 19-Nov-16 11:10:50

What's important is that your child is taught and challenged at their level. Don't let them worry about what group/table/chair they sit in.

SawdustInMyHair Sat 19-Nov-16 17:31:14

Are you sure the teacher has "table sets"? I haven't done that for years.

Yes! Ghastly practice, bad for high and low attainers alike. I have a girl with severe learning difficulties in my class, and when I took it over no one wanted to sit on a table with her. Not because they don't like her, but because the previous teacher had ability tables and so they thought it meant they were on the 'bottom' table. Got them over that idea pretty quick! Had a parent ask which table their child was on, too, and was very clear that that is Not How I Do Things, but other parents I'm sure think their child is on this or that table for a reason.

MiaowTheCat Mon 21-Nov-16 09:53:17

Might be the best for him in terms of confidence overall though.

Sounds odd but I was in an exceptionally bright cohort when I was at secondary school and so, instead of being where I'd have been in normal years at the top of the class (knowing me - doing naff all work since I was very bright but a lazy little shite - my IQ is like Mensa level, my application of said IQ is more soggy bit of blu tack level), I bumped along the middle range of classes as we had some really exceptional high fliers.

I was therefore convinced throughout my school career that I was a bit shit at Maths. Took me doing my PGCE, scoring top marks in our subject knowledge audit (I missed one mark on the whole paper for a bloody careless mistake) to realise that actually I was pretty damn good at the subject after all. If I'd been in the ever so slightly lower set for Maths I'd probably not have developed the mindset that I wasn't any good at it in the first place.

I'm not at DH's level with Maths where you can throw calculations at him and he just gives you the answer outright (his colleagues do this when they're bored) but I'm at the level of being good at Maths and good at explaining Maths - which DH isn't!

MiaowTheCat Mon 21-Nov-16 09:54:12

Incidentally in case anyone's going on about "how dare you go into teacher training when you weren't sure you were amazing at Maths" - I'd got an A at GCSE and knew I was decently functional at it - just never thought of it as a subject I was "good" at if you get what I mean.

Euphemia Mon 21-Nov-16 21:35:19

I assess at the beginning of each new Maths topic and group accordingly.

I currently have a pupil who's way ahead of the rest of the class for Number work, but in the lowest group for Time. Overall he excels, but not in all areas.

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