This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Feel like a punchbag.... Help? Or just let me moan!(10 Posts)
Hi! Regular poster, NC as this could identify me.
I teach in a primary school but run a small unit for children with specific learning difficulties (severe dyslexia etc) one of the children who has recently been placed with me has been put here because his behaviour is so awful and as a year 6 pupil he's disrupting sats. Fair enough, we've had a modest amount of success with him and he definitely has potential but.....
He is aggressive (with no provocation) to children and staff, he runs away at the drop of a hat, he refuses to cooperate with small insignificant requests eg move to a different table, hand over an object that he shouldn't have, he constantly says horrible things to the other children and today he has randomly attacked a much younger child (our class is year 2-6) kicking, slapping, pulling his hair. We pulled him off fast but he'd still caused a fair bit of damage and the child was extremely upset.
So, the real problem is this... Whenever we have to restrain him for his own or other people's safety, he goes home crying to mum that we're bullying him.
She comes in, screams, threatens us with the police, ofsted and the local authority then marches out with him (will never allow me to speak just screams over the top of me)
By the next day, she will be "calmer"
Meet with the head who says the issue is resolved and he trots back into class with zero consequences.
I am beginning to feel that I, and the rest of the class have become his punch bags but, because we get no support from the head I feel my hands are tied.
If the incident from today (very serious in my opinion) is treated in the same way, has anybody got any suggestions about what I could do? Thanks!
No suggestions but didn't want to read and walk away. I regularly feel like a physical and emotional punch bag!
I am no expert but would it be worth contacting your Union to see if they could help with this?
Crap isn't it? And you have to smile and be professional.
I'm going to be a really batty and troublesome old lady just to even things up a bit!
I'm assuming you are trained to restrain? If not and this is, or is potentially, a regular possible occurrence then you can refuse to have him, you are putting yourself at risk. He should also have a behaviour plan detailing how his behaviour will be dealt with, including restraint.
You can refuse to teach him....on the grounds of safety etc. I would contact your union.
In my school he would probably have been excluded.
I hope you get some support.
I would def Italy start with a meeting to say you are no longer comfortable with him in your classroom, for the safety of the other children and yourself. Explain that you've reached the point now where you feel like it's time for Union involvement and approaching the govenors about a serious breach in safeguarding for the other children, (headteacher involvement means govenors have to be told) and you'd welcome any response/suggestions.
If your school has a safeguarding officer that's not your head teacher, this could happen with them first.
Def Italy? Seriously, that's not a thing autocorrect.
Thanks moo point, that's really helpful. I am restraint trained, I always have a witness with me and I document every incident carefully.... All to cover myself.
Part of me wants to keep him as I think long term I can help him (with learning at least!)
I think though that if this last incident isn't treated as a very serious incident I think I may have to take it further.
Can't have the rest of my class scared to come to school.
Does the child have a dx? An EHCP? Are the incidents reported?
Have you got the support of whichever outreach team supports challenging behaviour in your area?
This pupil needs a detailed risk assessment, individual behaviour/ positive handling plan and some kind of individual provision map or 'passport' that details all the positive management strategies for him.
Mum needs to sign all these off, which should head off the threats to call the police as she will have agreed to positive handling in specific circumstances.
Please login first.