Pastoral care - duty of care

[cantresistchoc]

I'm a parent and am not here to "bash" teachers - merely to ask for insight and advice! My reception age DC has had wetting incidents in class, which appear to be stress related. On each occasion x3 DC has been left in their urine soaked clothes. The last time this happened it resulted in a very unpleasant urine burn - injury - necessitating time off school and time away from extra-curricular activities. I have spoken to the H and also to the class teacher and TA and each time I have been fobbed off. DC attends a small reception class (less than 10 kids) yet the pastoral care appears shockingly poor. As a parent I simply don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Many thanks.

[Pud2]

If the staff are aware that your child is wet, then they should certainly change them. Most reception children are able to change themselves, with adult supervision, and it's a very common occurrence. It may be a good idea to have a spare change of clothes in their book bag?

[TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross]

The teachers should certainly ensure that your DC changes himself - as Pud says, you should send spare clothes in so that the change can be accomplished with the minimum of fuss.

When your child wets themself, do they tell the teacher that they've have an accident? Is it possible that the teacher hasn't noticed, or are you saying they are deliberately being left in their wet clothes?

[cantresistchoc]

Thanks for replies. My DC is always sent to school with spare clothes - 2 lots actually. My DC is too embarrassed and scared to mention that they've had an accident - not surprising really - I witnessed class teacher become most cross with my DC for wetting pants. My concerns are a) it is clearly evident that my DC has had an accident as it shows up on school uniform - big wet patch across crotch so why is it being missed b) reception class size is very small so why poor pastoral support c) DC sustained a nasty urine burn - this is an injury - yet school has totally trivialized it - it occurred whilst my DC was in their care.

[cantresistchoc]

Posted too soon!

If I continue to receive lack of support from school over this matter what next?

[potentialqualms]

Reception children wetting themselves is very common indeed, especially in the first few weeks. They get changed with the minimum of fuss and the day continues.

TBH I find it very hard to believe a HT would try to tell you anything else. Complaint to governors would be you next action

[Pud2]

Actually, just to be clear, complaining to governors is not the next step. Governors are in charge of the strategic leadership of the school and are not involved in the day to day running of the school. If you do want to take it further you would need to follow the school's complaints procedure which should be published on their website.

[potentialqualms]

Quite Pud, which for most schools is ht then chair of govs

[curryandrice]

Not changing the child would contravene the Disability Act 2010 - I would ask for a copy of the school's toileting policy

[cantresistchoc]

Potential, I am most dismayed with the school's response - it is CofE and constantly bangs on about 'caring' and 'kindness' and yet my poor DC was left for somewhere between 4 and 5 hours recently in urine soaked clothes. The Head's response is one of ignoring and refusing to explain the class circumstances, which resulted in the injury my child sustained whilst claiming all measures are taken to ensure children use the loos - well if that's the case explain the above. As I say, this has happened x3 in a matter of weeks and not once have their clothes been changed. Thus when I collect DC from school their clothes are visibly wet - if I can see it why can't they...

I imagine making a complaint so early on will undoubtedly single DC out Pud? I started the school year feeling confident that my DC was in good safe hands and now I'm so stressed as to what lies ahead this week.

Thanks for info on DA 2010 Curry

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Whilst agreeing that it is shocking that your DC has been left in wet clothes and I would be very unhappy if it was my child, is it possible to send them in pull ups? I appreciate that this may feel like a retrograde step after potty training, but if this has been a recurring problem due to stress it might take some of the worry away for your child. May help if they know in case of accident they are not going to be sitting soaked and embarrassed and afraid to speak to a 'cross' teacher?

[Pud2]

I agree OP, it would be better to try and resolve the situation without having to go to the complaints procedure. I would maybe try and make an appointment to meet the head And talk it through again. If not, the first stage of the procedure is usually to put your complaint in writing to the head. They then have to follow it up and report back to you within a particular timeframe. Good luck.

[Ptarmigandancinginthegloaming]

It sounds as if they r not really on top of things if they aren't noticing DC is wet. How does it seem in terms of what they r doing work wise? Do u have a good feeling that it's a happy environment, and DC is learning new things? Is the children's work displayed around the place?
If all that stuff 's ok, it's probably worth a pre-arranged meeting with staff, maybe write a clear, polite letter to request one, and go in with a positive 'how can we resolve this' approach (and get the head to understand that u won't be fobbed off).
I reckon if a child came INTO school wet 3, times in a few weeks, most schools would see it as something that needed addressing with the parents, and as a possible sign of neglect; so they need to think about this a bit more carefully and plan appropriate care for this situation.