I don't want to!!

[missy111]

The panic and anxiety have started! I've never been like this, but I REALLY don't what to go back this year
Two new specifications, one of GCSE and one L3 vocational are going to make this year hell. In addition, we suspect OFSTED will grace us with their presence soon, so everyone is checking on everything ALL the time

[sophiestew]

Me neither missy. HOD/Programme Manager in FE college.

I was supposed to rewrite all the departmental SOW onto a new format over the summer, and I haven't done a single one.

OFSTED are coming back to see if we have progressed from our L3.

And I have new responsibilities for a subject I know nothing about, and don't even have any staffing for. But my director has scheduled me to meet loads of scary people to discuss my plans etc......

And I have to write the departmental self assessment report (reams of inspirational drivel) by the end of September.

[bumbleclat]

I'm in anxiety land too!
I teach 3 different year groups therefore three different curriculums, am half way through my first pregnancy and lost my mum to cancer three weeks ago. I feel completely exhausted and am nowhere near as prepared as I need to be. To top it off, I have insomnia and am just laying here worrying about school

[Sleeperandthespindle]

Sorry about your mum, bumble.

I haven't got any reason to dread going in, but still don't want to.

I love my job but really, really love holidays. Most of the second half of the summer term was survived by thinking about the holiday ahead. It's the busy-ness of term time that I find so hard, with 2 children at home and all the stuff that needs to be fitted in.

Giving myself an 'easy' 2 days in school of 9-4 before INSET on Thursday, to get the family back into routine. They're not really very easy days as I've got a classroom to move!

Still don't want to get up though. Need to make packed lunches for childminders.

[PumpkinPie2013]

Sorry about your mum bumble for you.

Like sleeper, I've got no reason to dread going back as I'm in.a great school and love my job but this week, the feelings of dread have crept in

DS (he's 2) has gone to nursery today which he loves but I feel a bit sad because we've done loads over the holidays and now it will be back to the juggling act of term time plus early mornings.

I find it hard to keep on top.of everything at home during term time so I end up feeling like I'm on a hamster wheel constantly

I'm going to give the house a good tidy today and sort the freezer out to make things easier. I think I might go into school tomorrow to sort out the first weeks planning - I'm secondary and I am teaching the new spec this year so I'm.stressing a bit about that.

Then on Thursday, I can do last minute things at home before INSET on Friday.

I'm hoping it will all fall into place once term starts!

[SnugglySnerd]

Sorry about your mum.

I feel exactly the same. Absolutely dreading it. I feel sick every time I think about it and I haven't slept properly since Weds. Stressed about new spec, I know I have a really challenging yr9 group and we are due Ofsted. Just want to hide under the duvet.

[Ditsyprint40]

Me too! New responsibilities that are mega stressing me out. And OFSTED are imminent too...

[bumbleclat]

I think I feel like this every year regardless of throwing grief into the mix it's just that sleepless nights are making me so much less productive during the day.
It almost feels like we're soldiers getting ready for the extremely disciplined life style and huge pressures from all directions.
We'll get through it. What's the worst that can happen?

[hollytom]

I really really don't want to! I moved schools last year and I didn't really settle in and there have been one or two issues with staff being bitchy. I only got through last term by counting the days til the holidays.
I am feeling anxious and not sleeping well which isn't like me. I am thinking I might leave at Christmas because life is too short to feel like this. Teaching is not my first career and I have felt end of holiday blues but not dread.
Maybe we can keep each other going?

[bumbleclat]

hollytom same here, someone started giving me a hard time in the summer term and my jobs already hard enough so I too am dreading returning now :(
Life really is too short for feeling like this so I am going to go off in maternity in Dec then may or may not return.

[beesbees]

Hand holding!

[beesbees]

I am ppa for several v autistic classes. I know some but others a a completely unknown quantity. Range from mainstream ability to preverbal/ non verbal and generally extremely difficult to keep well regulated. Plus lots of physical handling.

I'm mostly teaching my speciality which is great but I still haven't to foggiest what to actually do as they're so difficult to engage. I'll spend hours planning something for it to be trashed/ not done/ totally inappropriate and a judgy pants teacher to sneer at.

Plus ofsted will definitely come this term.

For music I've just decided to get all the drums out. Fuck the curriculum

[beesbees]

And I've spent FAR too much time in ikea this holiday finding storage solutions for my liking.

[crazycatguy]

We're due OFSTED too. My HoD and I spent a lot of time in school this summer!

[hollytom]

Bumble take care of yourself can you go off in maternity leave a bit earlier if it gets too much?
we are due ofsted too. I have found out that I will be expected to take a whole school assembly as well. I've never had to do this and I don't think I can stand up there at a school I feel uncomfortable in anyway. I have done class assemblies and took key stage assembly but this is causing me a lot of extra anxiety. Does anyone else have to do this? I'm only a temp teacher! I don't know what to do about it

[Ditsyprint40]

Hollytom- I'm meant to start assemblies this year and it's also causing me huge anxiety. I've worried about it all summer.

[hollytom]

Ditsy I'm glad it's not just me! I feel stupid for feeling this way.

[DustyOwl]

I felt dread like I never have before in my ten years of teaching. Felt like I was hit by a bus yesterday! Just to say, I've been doing assemblies for the last 2 years. Scared me half to death to start with, now I really enjoy them. I know the teachers in the room aren't really listening and it's the one bit of the day when I feel a bit of freedom!

[PumpkinPie2013]

How is everyone getting on?

I've been in today for INSET and it's been fine but information overload My head hurts now and feel like I've got loads to do before Monday!

I will definitely need tonight

I hope those who have been back this week have had a good few days

Hoping to chill a bit over the weekend before the madness commences on Monday!

[bumbleclat]

INSET was fine if not a bit lot of a waste of time.

Still lots to do tomorrow though :(

[LadyPenelope68]

Another due OFSTED too, plus 4 new teachers in a very small School and several new support staff. We've had a mass exodus in the last 2 years, now only myself and a TA left from the original team, it's all changed so much since we git a new Head. Totally dreading going back, the thought of it is making me feel ill

[BobbinThreadbare123]

I've just started a new place. One day of INSET and I hate it already. The school is too big (more than double my previous one). I couldn't stay at my beloved previous place due to geography/moves and a side role removal. This time, no timetable, then a messed about one, then one where my favourite course to teach has been taken off me, and all bottom/middle-bottom sets. I feel like they're treating me like some crap NQT, despite my experience and qualifications. I think it's made a decision for me to get out of teaching though. I'd been umming and ahhing and now I'm confident I need to go.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

for all you teachers. I decided against going into teaching years ago because the government interference and scrutiny was just starting off and only going to get worse. I thought I would be safe from all that in the role I have now (support staff)but the last couple of years it's been heading the same way as the teachers' side of things. Had Ofsted in last spring and was found to be only satisfactory (as with most of the other schools in our city) so we've got further stress in a re-visit this Autumn. My department (with now just me in it due to cuts) now has a role to play in the school development plan when for years there hasn't been the same focus on it, so I'm feeling the pressure. Also had no choice about putting in for the quality mark in my area (despite me feeling that it should have waited another year) so I'll be under a lot of pressure this year to deliver so that Ofsted approve of what I'm doing and the quality Mark assessors do to. My salary is the same as an NQT and won't increase now, despite being in my 40s with nearly 20 years' experience in my field. I have a whole school role and feels like too much responsibility for what I'm being paid, compared to what the job was like years ago.

I hate it the pressure and scrutiny. My job shouldn't be like this. It wasn't for my predecessor. For years it was seen as (and was) a "nice" job. Things have changed. For the worse. I know things are so much worse for teachers than for support staff like me so I feel for you all. It's just such a shame that jobs in education have become ruined by our government. And they wonder why there is a teacher shortage....

[Ditsyprint40]

Curly - not sure what your role is but I'm in a similar position.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Ditsy: it's learning resources/library. I will stick this year out but if things don't get much better after Ofsted have left us alone then I'm seriously going to think about moving back to HE libraries. Disappointing because I'll miss the kids but I'll have not much less money for a much less stressful role and I'd have more flexibility with my leave than I do now. There would be pros and cons but the stress and demands would be less and I'd be working on a team rather than on my own.

[OneOfTheGrundys]

Ugh.
I've got The Nerves now too.