Managing hours with mummy time(13 Posts)
In September I will be working 0.8 which leaves two afternoons when I can pick up DD from school. She will be in reception. The other afternoons she will do after school club. DS is 3 and will be in daycare nursery. Just wondering how everyone else juggles teaching and family life? The guilt of taking on extra hours from a 0.6 is kicking in already...
The guilt doesn't go. At least, it hasn't for me. I look forward to the thoughts of others on your thread.
I am full time now and have been part time since DS was 1 (he's now 4 and starts school in September). DD is in year 2. I leave early two days a week (but one is to take to extra curricular activities). The other days they have tea at childminders so when we get home I don't have to do it. Still doesn't leave much time for playing together!
DD currently has little homework - may change in year 3. We manage reading at bedtime. We have an excellent childminder. All this helps!
I try to do as little work out of school as possible - I do 4 hours on a Sunday morning. Holidays are sacrosanct as our reward for term time (except summer when I will work when I can).
I'm very concerned now that I've agreed to it! Especially as my husband will not allow us to use after school club (because he doesn't like her crossing roads to get there). So that means relying on grandparents (who are unreliable!).
I don't think it's just a dilemma for teachers.
You spend your life juggling work and kids, well into their teenage years. You'll get by though. Everyone does.
Get used to the fact that when you're at work you'll worry about not having enough time with the kids, and when you're with the kids you'll worry about neglecting your work.
It is hard. Can your husband reduce his hours a little to take on two afternoon pick ups, which would leave just one for grandparents? Sharing the childcare responsibility drastically reduces the guilt in my experience.
I've been full time for the last year and we're just getting into the rhythm of it. Online shopping and a cleaner are essential IMHO! The guilt is hard, whenever Ds gets Poorly I just feel wracked with it, however the holidays make it all worth it. I do find full time easier in terms of focus-when I was part time I hated being out of the loop and actually feel more in control now that I'm there all the time.
Thank you for your reassuring words.
My husband has already changed shifts to do all the morning drop-offs. Pick-ups were all my area - but now that I've increased my hours, I've made that difficult for 3/5 days.
I agree that this problem isn't just limited to teachers, but there is something difficult about spending your working day giving all your time and attention to other people's children and then finding you don't have enough left for your own.
A bonus for me is that when I was part time, I discovered I absolutely hated the school run! Dreaded and despised it. Now I avoid it completely (apart from today as I'm striking so will do the pick up at the end of the day).
I started working in a charity because I found teaching so in-family friendly. In my work PT is actually part time, I can do flexi time, I can have my phone on in case nursery ring, I can book holiday for a morning to go to a nursery nativity....etc. I don't plan to go back to teaching. Too stressful and depressing an environment and work/life balance was terrible. Working until midnight isn't my idea of fun. I was a workaholic before my kids, but my priorities changed after being a mum. Like pp said, there's something particularly awful about spending all day devoting/slogging your guts out for someone else's kids and neglecting your own in the process (NOT that I'm saying you're neglecting your kids OP, that's just how I felt).
Tbh (and I don't mean this to sound harsh) I sucked it up and got on with it. I saw my DH working full time without any guilt and thought why the fuck should I be feeling guilty just because I'm a woman. I teach full time and DD1 is at school, DD2 in full time childcare. We are extremely fortunate that we have 7 weeks maximum before spending a week or more with our children so compared to other jobs that is a real plus. The other adjustment I made was I now teach at my DD's school so get a bit more time with her even if it is her sitting in my classroom as I mark etc.
I stay up late so our evenings aren't disrupted until the girls are in bed then I work. I'm very maternal and adore my children but I'm also practical and know without my job as it is we wouldn't have a house plus if I had a different job the childcare would be far more expensive.
This is really interesting to read. teacher54321 this is how I hope to feel a year on. I'm going from 0.4 to f/t next year in a different school. I'm wracked with guilt for my pre-schooler, but I have to be honest in that I hated job sharing, and I'm getting very bored at home. I will also be teaching at the same school my DD1 goes to, so I'm hoping that will help. And like you say - we have very long/frequent holidays so I really feel lucky in comparison to some friends who really struggle out of term time.
Let us know how you get on - it's good to know there are others out there in a similar position!
Thank you for all your comments. I feel much more positive now!
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