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Pregnant teacher, paranoid about colleague?

(17 Posts)
bumbleclat Wed 22-Jun-16 02:40:15

Has anyone else's work place started explicitly making plans for when you go/went on ML?

I love my career (teacher) and it feels really horrible to hear the governors and head making plans already (I'm only 14 weeks)

My head teacher told me her action plan today for when I go off on ML today and the other teacher in the (very small school) who has been friendly up until now (this is my first year) has randomly become really off with me and unhelpful.

For example, subtle things like not replying when I say good morning and not helping when my ICT equipment breaks even through he is the ICT guy, the printer in my classroom has broken and I've told him on several occasions over the past 7 days (there are only 3 classes in my school) and he is just saying "it's a network error" but not helping with it, even though I really rely on this printer to write plans for my 3 Teaching assistants and he knows this sad

He used to come into my classroom every morning and say hello, he is avoiding eye contact and just being odd, which is disconcerting in a school of just 2 teachers and a teaching head.

My mum's battling leukaemia and I haven't been able to drive 6 hours round trip to see her due to constant nausea and drowsy making anti-nausea tablets all the while maintaining a happy and professional attitude at work.

I have regularly had to let friends and family down lately because I'm always so bloody sick and they're all off the radar, including my sister.

Despite all of this^^^ I've successfully got through two moderations of late: Key stage 1 and Early Years, written all 28 of my reports, with 10 days to go until the deadline and continued to teach my three year groups, full time despite loosing sleep due to all night vomit sessions.

Felling sorry for myself tonight sad

Maybe pregnancy hormones, but I just feel that everyone's expecting me to be so over the moon about this pregnancy that I'm just left to run backwards, whilst singing in tune, wearing high heels and without sweating<<< weird late night analogy.

I know it might sound dramatic but this teacher suddenly being off with me feels sinister. I don't like it when people leave you guessing about how you might have upset them in some way, I prefer people to be upfront/ try to talk about it.

I have been wracking my brains, trying to think of what I've done and the only thing I can think is that the head teacher told me that one of my pupils should go up to ^ teacher's class for a particular subject next year because said pupil is gifted in this area.

When I mentioned to this teacher that this was something HT and I had discussed, he got visibly angry and said that he didn't agree that it was the right thing to do.

Then, during a staff meeting (just the three of us and a TA) the HT basically just said that he had to take this pupil next year. This seems to have really annoyed him but he isn't being off with the HT, just with me.

Should I just ignore this until the summer holidays?

Normally, if someone was making me feel uncomfortable, I would deal with it head on or just leave (life's too short for what essentially feels like bullying) but because I'm pregnant, I feel I can't be to drastic and just have to put up with this bad atmosphere.

It's a shame because this teacher has helped me a lot in my first year and I was bursting with gratitude to the point of planning a nice gift to say thanks for all of his help but now the working relationship has soured and it would seem inauthentic buying someone who is causing me so much anguish, a gift.

Sorry for rambling, thanks for reading.

ceebie Wed 22-Jun-16 11:56:02

It sounds like you could do with tackling it head on and asking if there is a particular issue or problem.

However, given that it is so close to the summer holidays, perhaps you could just hang on in there and then see what the atmosphere is like in September? Maybe he'll get past this attitude over the summer.

I assume that this has been your first year at this school? From his point of view, it must be incredibly disruptive to have a new teacher start and then in a relatively short space of time disappear off again. I'm not saying it's reasonable of him to have such an attitude (it's not), but that would seem a probable source of the cause. And who's to say that you won't come back after mat leave only to disappear on a second period of maternity leave after that? It's sadly unavoidable that colleagues often view maternity leave as a major inconvenience to them, which in fairness it is (having been on mat leave twice myself).

NapQueen Wed 22-Jun-16 11:59:13

Could he maybe have had a crush on you?

bumbleclat Thu 23-Jun-16 19:42:57

I don't know, I really don't, it's just making work quite painful at the moment.

blowmybarnacles Thu 23-Jun-16 20:11:20

Hmm, I think he had crush on you and thought you might like him too and is confused and angry

CodewordRochambeau Thu 23-Jun-16 23:02:29

I don't understand how the HT's plans for your mat leave and the sulky teacher are related?

On the former point, I'd have been delighted if my school had made positive plans for my mat cover so early in my pregnancy. It's my experience that maternity cover is often a bit of an afterthought.

LockedOutOfMN Sun 26-Jun-16 13:46:09

It sounds as though he is angry about the child being moved classes and him not having been consulted.

LockedOutOfMN Sun 26-Jun-16 13:46:39

(Sorry for awful grammar. It's Sunday afternoon and I'm in lazy mode).

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark Sun 26-Jun-16 13:55:38

Surely it is not another teacher's job to fix your broken equipment?
Unfortunately, people get pregnant. They are then substituted for their ML. It needs planning for.
Hand on heart- do you think the other teacher would be cross about having the other child if you weren't pregnant? If so, as others say, for you it's a non issue and it's between him and the HT.
Be careful not to start blaming everything in the school on your pregnancy. Other people have the right to be narked about work stuff too.

HopeClearwater Mon 04-Jul-16 18:10:28

Don't bother with a gift!

He probably feels really chippy about you being able to go on ML and not him! It's remarkable nor unreasonable some colleagues can be about maternity leave. Especially headteachers ...

HopeClearwater Mon 04-Jul-16 18:10:44

*how, not nor

PotteringAlong Mon 04-Jul-16 18:12:20

The head making plans for your maternity leave is completely legitimate. What did you think would happen?

leccybill Wed 06-Jul-16 17:08:02

A team of 3 and one member won't even say hello back to you?
How rude.
I'm afraid I'd have to say something before the holidays. Just a simple 'is there something wrong?' with a smile will do it.

You sound like you're doing amazing btw, cut yourself some slack.

bumbleclat Thu 07-Jul-16 20:58:11

Thank you, these were the late night ramblings of an overwhelmed lady.
I spoke to my councillor about it and she was really helpful, I realised that the main thing bothering me is his sudden change of character.
But 99 percent of my job is fantastic so I'm just going to let him get on with his bee in his bonnet.
One thing that worked wonders was just asking the head what I should do about my computers and suggested that my DH could come in and have a look if needs be (he's a computer programmer) She instantly said that this teacher's role is to deal with ICT and asked him outright, he gave an apologetic and drawn out reason why he had not yet dealt with it (much more than he'd given me on the three occasions that I asked)
So from now on I'll just speak to her about any concerns.
Thanks for your replies.

bumbleclat Thu 07-Jul-16 20:58:40


leccybill Fri 08-Jul-16 13:11:26

Glad things are a bit more sorted for you.
Youve got a lot going on there.

Iggii Fri 08-Jul-16 13:40:51

He could be experiencing fertility problems with a partner.

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