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TAAT : favoritism

(70 Posts)
irvine101 Sat 26-Mar-16 10:53:03

I' m not a teacher.
There is a thread going on on the primary section. Some people says there is clear favouritism happening at their dc's school. Nobody is saying that all the school/teachers are like that. But in my experience, it does exist at my ds's school.
It's not teacher/school bashing. But some teacher seems to take it very personally and one said "School would be awesome without the fucking parents, I'm convinced."
Do all the teacher think it never happens in any school? Are we the ungrateful parents if we think it happens at some(well, in my ds's) school?

whatamidoinghereanyway Sat 26-Mar-16 11:13:29

It's just life. Be smart enough to become the favourite smile

BoGrainger Sat 26-Mar-16 11:18:53

It IS teacher bashing.
And hopefully someone with the full app will be able to get this deleted. TAATs are not allowed even if brazenly put in the title!grin

cuntycowfacemonkey Sat 26-Mar-16 11:20:25

Some kids are more likeable than others. It's just human nature. I'm not a teacher, my son has SN but he is unforgivably cute and it gets him a long way.

irvine101 Sat 26-Mar-16 11:21:34

Sorry I didn't know it wasn't allowed.

ArmchairTraveller Sat 26-Mar-16 11:23:03

I always kept ticklists and records and stuff, so that when parents twisted history and claimed bias, children were distressed by their subjective recall and there was frothing about favouritism, I had evidence to refute it.
Usually the shrieking descended into grumbling as they have nothing to back up their claims.
It's the only way IMO. Otherwise how can you prove that you are unbiased?

irvine101 Sat 26-Mar-16 19:25:57

My ds is actually a recipient of favouritism. That's why I felt it existed. I just didn't understand why it get so personal and be so sure it doesn't exist anywhere.

ArmchairTraveller Sat 26-Mar-16 19:41:54

'one said "School would be awesome without the fucking parents, I'm convinced.'

It depends on the parents.
Some squabble and feud and count coup, marginalise, judge children and generally display the same level of emotional maturity as their children.
Rather than setting an example as adults and having a level of common sense and compassion.

Tryingtosaveup Sat 26-Mar-16 20:59:12

What's a TAAT?

Rangirl Sat 26-Mar-16 21:02:40

Thread About A Thread

sashh Sun 27-Mar-16 05:50:55

I'm sure it can and does happen but a lot of the time it is kids being selective with memory.

Eg if students are working on course work then I let them have music on as long as they have headphones in.

I was accused of favoritism by a student who never brings headphones and wanted to listen to her music without them. Apparently I never let her listen to music and I let other people - which is true - but not because of favoritism.

GinandJag Sun 27-Mar-16 06:22:39

I have favourites, but I'd like to think that I don't treat them differently from other students.

irvine101 Sun 27-Mar-16 10:47:26

I was shocked by the fact that even though teachers don't like teacher bashing thread, but easy to generalise parents and dismiss individual parents' opinion as teacher bashing, even though I was telling what I genuinely felt about my experience and not intending to attack teachers/schools in general. I respect teachers, and appreciate them. But that thread made me very sad.

barefootbytheocean Sun 27-Mar-16 10:48:12

Teachers, take something personally? wink

No, surely not?

JinRamen Sun 27-Mar-16 10:59:32

On the other sid of the fence there is the poor teacher reduced to passing on the spite of the head by singling out children because the parents accused the head of failing an older sibling, even though said sibling is not at the school anymore!

clam Sun 27-Mar-16 13:38:56

This is why TAATs are strongly discouraged - you've totally mis-represented what was on that thread.

The poster who said about schools being awesome without the parents was joking. And I was the poster who was getting cross about the continued peddling of the idea that teachers seriously only select pupils for plays/sports teams based on whether their parents are on the PTA. And then you accused me of hating you. hmm

As you were.

BatmanLovesPeaceAndQuiet Sun 27-Mar-16 14:03:01

I had a formal complaint about me last year, because A had only been on the Tree of Praise once and I was biased against him. We keep all the names in an Assembly Book and it was evident that he had in fact, been on the Tree 3 times (from Sept, this was Jan so pretty frequently, in fact).

Obviously as a teacher I don't believe we have favourites, but the above is why I take the kind of threads you are talking about with a huge pinch of salt.

Leslieknope45 Sun 27-Mar-16 14:07:52

I do have children that I like more than others. I teach some students that I actively dislike.
I try (and I think succeed!) to treat them all the same and I give them all a fresh start over and over again.

ArmchairTraveller Sun 27-Mar-16 15:23:04

Exactly why a paper trail is necessary if teachers are doing anything that involves choosing a child for anything, Batman.
If it can be complained about, it will be, and the teacher is the one in the line of fire.
Smile, choose and record. Date, time and witness! Then file smile

irvine101 Sun 27-Mar-16 15:34:41

clam, I was joking when I said you hate me , because you keep quoting my comments and almost saying I was lying or delusional in some way, when I was just telling what I thought was happening at my ds's school. Your reaction actually made me feel very sad, thus I asked in this section. I didn't even know it wasn't allowed to talk about other thread, so, I am sorry.

ArmchairTraveller Sun 27-Mar-16 15:47:22

So did you check the facts at your DS's school? To see if that was indeed the case, and that having a parent on the PTA was a prerequisite for being chosen for anything important? What was the school's response?
Or did you jump to conclusions and stay there?

irvine101 Sun 27-Mar-16 15:58:28

No, I didn't check the facts. ... My ds is selected for a lot of things, with other bright children. Also, member of active ptas(friends) and governors' children seems to be selected as well, but I have no objection to it. They play a vital role for school, and imho, they deserve a bit of recognition for it. People complaining about those should involve themselves rather than just giving a snide comment. As for my ds, he is naturally bright, but also hard working and polite, well behaved child, so he deserve it too. But the fact, same children are selected, is the truth at my ds's school. And I don't know about other school.

clam Sun 27-Mar-16 15:59:07

almost saying I was lying or delusional in some way,

"Almost saying?" So, I wasn't saying that, then. I was defending my hard-working and dedicated colleagues from this hackneyed cliche that keeps popping up about us being puppets of the PTA committee. I made no comment about perceptions of generalised favouritism, but as others have pointed out on this new thread (AAT), there are always people who think they're being victimised, whatever the reality - and yes, teachers do often keep logs of who they give what to, as it's useful when accused.

clam Sun 27-Mar-16 16:01:19

They play a vital role for school, and imho, they deserve a bit of recognition for it.

Er no! Deserving recognition for helping out at school should NOT take the form of having their children selected for things that they might otherwise not have earned! There are plenty of other ways to thank the PTA.

ArmchairTraveller Sun 27-Mar-16 16:01:34

So you should be questioning why it happens, and pushing for the school to recognise and celebrate all their children in some way. Not just the intelligent, polite ones with connections.

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