Parent appointments

Tbqh I don't bring up anything surprising at parents evening - they are all aware of issues beforehand.
I don't sugarcoat either though (barring a few exceptions). But anything I say that's negative is framed in a "this is holding your child back from learning" rather than a "your child is terrible at x".

It is incredibly disrespectful to parents who have taken time off from work, arranged childcare etc. for 10 mins of feedback about their child, to then lie to them.

Nothing should be a surprise at parents evening in theory. Having said that there are parents that I never see or I cannot get hold of so parents evening may be the first time I get to have a proper chat about their child.

That's ridiculous. I'd be bloody annoyed if my kids were being annoying or not making progress and teachers didn't tell me what was going on.

I always ask the parents if they have anything they'd like to discuss first, and that helps me get a view of how they see their child and how their education is progressing. If they want honesty, they get it!

That said, if there's anything major that needs to be said about a child's progress or behaviour, it should have been raised long before parents evening- it shouldn't come as a shock on the evening itself.