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Completing NQT year

(12 Posts)
seoulsurvivor Fri 19-Feb-16 08:19:40

I finished my PGCE in 2013 and then went abroad to Korea to work (as a teacher, but in TEFL). I had a really bad time of it on my course (2 placements where the teacher couldn't have cared less about me or the students, no support, split up with long term boyfriend.) I intended to come back after one year to complete my NQT year.

Well, now it's two years later and I am getting married to a Korean guy this summer. Totally unexpected, didn't come here expecting to find someone. We really want children together, also.

I'm 33. I know I don't necessarily have a huge amount of time left to have kids. I am healthy/non smoker/not a big drinker/not on contraception/regular periods etc, but still.

But I also know that the longer I leave the NQT year, the less likely it is that I ever get it done. I worry that if anything were to happen to my partner, I would not have the possibility of earning money in the UK. Although I can currently get work in Korea quite easily, that won't necessarily always be the case.

My husband to be runs his own business with a partner, so it will take some time for him to wind that down, find a new partner etc. We could leave for the UK in February 2017.

I am thinking over the possibilities. My partner is totally supportive and flexible, but his business is going well, and although he's in a good position to find another job, I know he'd probably prefer not to leave it.

I could:

a. forget the NQT year for now, start trying for a baby soon after we get married so August 2016. Although I'd prefer to be married for some time before trying, I know time is against me somewhat. I could potentially go back to the UK in a few years after we have a baby, but realistically, is anyone going to employ someone who completed the PGCE so long ago?

b. go back in February 2017, start the NQT by doing long term supply if I can, or taking a permanent post from September. We start trying for a baby straight away and if I get pregnant, take maternity leave...

c. go in February 2017, start trying around November. I would be almost 35 at that point.

I guess it's only a year's difference, but at this age, it could be a big difference.

I am going to get a check up soon with a gynaecologist to see what the situation is, and my partner will also get a fertility check. Luckily, in Korea a lot of help such as IVF is cheap so if we have problems, we could afford help.

I also posted in conception, but just wondering what others would do in this situation. I really want to complete the NQT as I want the reassurance of having financial stability if anything were to happen to my husband. But I also don't want to miss the chance to have kids.

OP’s posts: |
Lovelydiscusfish Fri 19-Feb-16 08:29:00

Congratulations on your engagement!
Lots of different things to consider here. I personally wouldn't be panicking about your fertility and age too much (I increasingly have loads of friends having babies in their forties, and one at 48!) Having said that, understandable if you do not want to "risk" waiting - it's such an important thing.
Re teaching, are you primary or secondary? What subject? I don't know much about primary, but I know in secondary there are such massive teacher shortages in many subjects that I really don't think you'd struggle to find work. However, I have a funny feeling (I should know this really, in my job!) that you have to do your nqt within a certain number of years of your pgce? But I'm sure you know whether this is the case.
Good luck!

seoulsurvivor Fri 19-Feb-16 08:37:32

Thanks Lovelydiscusfish I am SO happy to be engaged to a lovely guy. He's perfect (except for his night time fidgeting).

I am primary but am happy to work in secondary if I need to. I could teach languages, English or history. We could really move to any area of the country, it's not that important where we are.

It seems like there is not a limit on when you can do your NQT, only a limit on short term supply. It took a lot of googling to find that out though!

It's good to know there are women having babies late. I keep reading horror stories about people being unable to conceive. I'm glad I waited to find the right guy, but, I really wish it had been a couple of years earlier...

Thanks for the good wishes!

OP’s posts: |
DitheringDiva Fri 19-Feb-16 08:50:25

I would go with having kids as soon as possible. Like you, I was very healthy, and got pregnant straight away when I was 31, however, when I started trying again for my second at age 34, it was two years and two miscarriages later before I had the baby. There is a time limit to having children, whereas there's no time pressure at all to do the NQT year. The only time pressure you do have, is, after 5 years of gaining QTS, you won't be able to do day-to-day supply in state schools, but you can still do longer term supply, of at least a term or more, where the school will support you in your NQT induction, and you can get permanent jobs, again as long as the school will support you in NQT induction, but that's the kind of job you want anyway. If you're maths, science of MFL, you won't have any problems getting a job. Don't know about primary. The other thing with having kids, is they are not mutually exclusive to getting your NQT (or doing anything else) - I had my first baby right in the middle of my PGCE - it all worked out fine! Also, I wouldn't worry that you might never be be able to get work in the UK - there's always work around, doing something. You could start trying August 2016, and if you got pregnant straight away, come back to the UK February 2017, have baby May 2017, and start permanent job in September 2017 - choices a and b are not mutually exclusive. Although, if your fiance's business is doing well and he enjoys it, I'd be inclined to just stay there, at least for a while.

Fallulah Fri 19-Feb-16 10:49:06

Are there any international schools where you are? Lots of them can now take you through your NQT year.

Jesabel Sat 20-Feb-16 11:41:42

I would look for a job (either in the UK or at an international school if that's a possibility) starting September 2016 - and get the NQT year out of the way. Your husband could either join you in the UK in February 2017, or you could return to Korea in July 2017.

partystress Sat 20-Feb-16 12:04:39

In most parts of England, there are so many jobs for NQTs this year you could pretty well handpick your location. Long term supply is a possibility, but going thru an agency, the school is less committed to your development. Also, if a contract was shortened, part terms wouldn't count, so you may end up taking more than a year to do a year IYSWIM. Would you be available to start after Easter? You could get one term done, start TTC as soon as you get married, and even if you fall immediately, you could finish NQT before you need mat leave (though would mean you giving birth here rather than Korea). Or start NQT in September and TTC in December. Good luck whatever you decide.

seoulsurvivor Sat 20-Feb-16 12:07:15

Jesabel - There is no way I could leave him. It's not an option. Plus I'd have to go back now to find a job - it's just not feasible.

Fallulah - unfortunately nowhere here that would do NQT.

Diva - thanks for the suggestions. We have been talking about it a lot and maybe I'll just put the NQT on a backburner for now. It's not ideal, but I don't want to miss out on kids.

Thanks all for the advice...still thinking thinking.

OP’s posts: |
Jesabel Sat 20-Feb-16 12:16:06

Why couldn't you leave him?

seoulsurvivor Sat 20-Feb-16 12:18:01

Why? Because we'd have been married a month! Isn't it fairly normal to want to be with the man you marry? I'm marrying because I want to be with him, not just for a laugh.

OP’s posts: |
Jesabel Sat 20-Feb-16 12:21:10

OK, I see grin It depends on what your priorities are I suppose, I would want to get the NQT done and start trying for a baby asap. You know you can still see each other even if you are working in different countries for a few months?

seoulsurvivor Sat 20-Feb-16 12:26:49

Well, it's just not an option for me, anyway. And maybe even more so for him, he is very family-oriented.

Damn. Why is there so little time?

OP’s posts: |

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