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Sending a child out of the class

(126 Posts)
Daredevil Sun 07-Feb-16 09:47:17

I've name hanged for this as school have found Internet posts in the past.

I'm a parent whose dh is s teacher. Dh has a strong opinion on an incident that happened with ds & I wanted to know opinions from other teachers as to what happened.

Ds (year 7) we strongly suspect he has an ASD but getting a diagnoses is virtually impossible due to funding. We were refused a referral when he was in primary despite the school nurse & senco appealing. We are currently waiting for an ed psych assessment.

Ds passed for a grammar school. It's been a difficult transition, he's had several meltdowns at school & each time I've been called to take him home but recently he's been doing well although he gets distracted/frustrated easily. He appears very young/immature for his age & he is incredibly disorganised.

Last week he fell & hurt himself & had to have a dressing on his hand but it started to heal nicely. However the one day it was bothering him (dressing off by this point) & he was distracting others because he was distracted by his hand. So he got a reprimand but unfortunately he'd had several reprimands about stuff that week forgotten kit, not handing in homework he had done etc) so it triggered a detention.

He got really upset about this as he felt it was unfair & started arguing with the teacher. Teacher said he was very rude & sent him out of the classroom (unfortunately ds doesn't always realise when he is appearing rude especially when he's het up about perceived unfairness).

Was there any way this could have been handled better or did the teacher do the right thing. His head of year says this behaviour is not acceptable & the other students can't see him get away with stuff.

Unfortunately the situation escalated & he's now in big trouble.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sun 07-Feb-16 10:00:47

Sorry I agree - he should be excluded he disrupted a planned lesson for 29 other students - they are there to be educated - y7 teachers don't have time to deal with these incidents it's best the child leaves and goes to cool off. Detention is a result of several factors - DD would have had one for this one incident -

Back the school and get a time table for home so he's organised for the night before. You do your bit to help and let school deal with the rest

wannabestressfree Sun 07-Feb-16 10:06:02

I agree too sorry.
I still pack my sons bag (same age and issues) and I moved him from his grammar for similar reasons.
He is a very young 11.

Daredevil Sun 07-Feb-16 10:08:38

it's just a similar incident at a different school my dd attends (she also has ASD) was handled very differently.

But then one of her teachers is on the spectrum so seems to have more understanding.

Daredevil Sun 07-Feb-16 10:09:19

The distraction was ds waving his hand around repeatedly.

noblegiraffe Sun 07-Feb-16 10:09:27

If a student starts arguing with you about something then what else can you do apart from send them out? The teacher acted entirely correctly, it is not their fault that your DS had been reprimanded for other things too, and challenging the authority of a teacher in the middle of the lesson is unacceptable.

However, if your DS has issues with arguing with teachers and getting frustrated then in my school he may be issued with a time-out card. If he felt he was getting wound up and wanted to argue with the teacher then the card would mean he would be allowed to leave the lesson and go to the SEN centre rather than argue with the teacher and get in trouble.

Daredevil Sun 07-Feb-16 10:11:08

So it is definatly acceptable to send an asd child on the verge of a meltdown out of the classroom unaccompanied.

That's interesting as dh says that goes against all his Sen training so it's interesting to hear different perspectives.

noblegiraffe Sun 07-Feb-16 10:12:19

But your child hasn't been diagnosed with ASD. The teacher was sending an argumentative child out of the class.

Teaguzzler Sun 07-Feb-16 10:14:10

I don't think it is acceptable to send a child with asd out on their own but you say you have no diagnosis. Of course this doesn't mean anything necessarily but do the school see him as having sen? If they don't then that would explain it.

Daredevil Sun 07-Feb-16 10:14:17

I've been trying to get help/a diagnoses for 4 years.

Daredevil Sun 07-Feb-16 10:15:44

W have an ed psych report which school have stating he has traits but doesn't confirm fully but further investigation is needed. Unfortunately we'd spent £2k by that point & ran out of money.

Teaguzzler Sun 07-Feb-16 10:15:47

The trouble is though, you see a child with asd about to have a meltdown. They may see an argumentative child disrupting lessons. Why so long for a diagnosis?

Teaguzzler Sun 07-Feb-16 10:16:45

X post! A diagnosis shouldn't be reliant on your financial situation! It doesn't need to be obtained privately.

Daredevil Sun 07-Feb-16 10:16:49

When he left the classroom he hid in a cupboard for over an hour in a foetal position & was incoherent when he was finally found.

SavoyCabbage Sun 07-Feb-16 10:17:04

* "**So it is definatly acceptable to send an asd child on the verge of a meltdown out of the classroom unaccompanied*"

That's not what happened though as he has no diagnosis of asd.

Daredevil Sun 07-Feb-16 10:18:06

A friend said it took 8 years for her son's diagnoses. There is no funding in our area. Referrals are routinely refused for all but the most severe.

Daredevil Sun 07-Feb-16 10:18:46

Please please please tell me then how I can get a diagnoses.

RidersOnTheStorm Sun 07-Feb-16 10:19:05

If the teacher was on his own with the class I don't see what else he could have done in the face of your son's behaviour.

noblegiraffe Sun 07-Feb-16 10:19:32

I totally understand your frustration with the assessment process but as far as the teacher knew, your child was just being a pain in the arse and was treated accordingly.

Btw I'm a teacher of ten years and I don't think I've had any training that says anything about dealing with ASD meltdowns. Not saying this is ideal but the teacher may have done the same thing even if he was diagnosed.

Daredevil Sun 07-Feb-16 10:21:31

The school nurse told me she used to be allowed to refer but the local trust prevented it. So she referred to Camhs instead. He had two sessions with them, they produced an inaccurate report where they ignored a lot of stuff we/he/his primary school senco had said & discharged him. The senco rang them to beg them to re-consider & they said no.

TheFallenMadonna Sun 07-Feb-16 10:21:36

You need to discuss strategies for this with the SENCO. Your DS needs to have somewhere he can go when he is struggling. He doesn't need a diagnosis or an EHCP to have a plan in place to support him.

NickiFury Sun 07-Feb-16 10:21:36

No it's not acceptable but without a diagnosis they will continue to treat him as an NT child. I'd be extremely annoyed about this but really they're not acting inappropriately as the situation stands with diagnosis. Children with ASD in schools with no recognition because they haven't got or can't get a diagnosis dueto lack of care or funding is a personal hobby horse of mine and infuriates me. Any chance you could go private for diagnosis OP? even one private report from e.g an OT, Ed Psych, SALT to take to the GP would help. You realise you don't have to have the schools backing don't you? You can just take him to the GP and ask for a referral. They may fob you off with the usual "well the referral usually goes via the school". Yes usually but not necessarily. Dd's school didn't have a clue but I had a great GP who referred us immediately.

DoreenLethal Sun 07-Feb-16 10:22:10

Really, the teacher knows he can have meltdowns and so when he was needling about his dressing, he should have been sent to the nurse to get his dressing redone.

Teaching is about heading off these issues, not escalating them.

Teaguzzler Sun 07-Feb-16 10:22:22

That's awful! In my experience (primary school), the school should be supporting you. Do they agree with you about possible asd?

noblegiraffe Sun 07-Feb-16 10:22:52

It sounds like your DS needs an IEP which teachers need to be aware of without a diagnosis saying he is prone to arguing with teachers, having meltdowns, that he shouldn't be left alone when agitated and some strategies for avoiding confrontation.

None of this requires a diagnosis. Clearly his teachers aren't currently aware of his issues.

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