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Awful middle class parents in SW London destroying teachers lives

(171 Posts)
zas1 Sun 01-Nov-15 15:10:02

My DB teaches at a private school in SW London. He desperately wants to leave as he says the expectations of the parents and their constant harassment are destroying his professional quality of life. So so so sad..

IoraRua Sun 01-Nov-15 15:17:57

It's how it goes. I'll never forget one parent asking the Junior Infant (Reception) teacher in my school to hand feed their child lunch and personally take her to the toilet every 15 mins. Take, not remind. No SEN, child could feed herself but didn't like to.
Parent was most aggrieved when the teacher pointed out if she did that for all the children, there'd be no teaching time! Not to mention the choking hazard...

EdithWeston Sun 01-Nov-15 15:28:35

If he wants to leave, what's stopping him?

The school doesn't sound remotely normal, and there are oodles of other schools in SW London (both sectors).

ImperialBlether Sun 01-Nov-15 15:30:19

You think that's right, then Edith, that it's got so bad that teachers want to leave?

Wolfiefan Sun 01-Nov-15 15:38:10

They probably pay a fortune and so think they can demand whatever they like.
If it's actual harassment then why aren't school leaders stepping in.

KittyandSqueal Sun 01-Nov-15 15:43:46

Ah yes, the cut up the good and feed my reception child otherwise he won't eat. I've had that this year. My (slightly kinder worded) reply was that he would soon learn.

HermioneWeasley Sun 01-Nov-15 15:48:45

Then he should leave. There are plenty of schools where the parents don't give a fuck - perhaps he'd be happier there?

EdithWeston Sun 01-Nov-15 15:51:08

I don't think difficult parents in one SW London private school is representative of schools in general. Bad in that school, clearly yes. And you'll note I was suggesting teaching elsewhere, not ceasing to be a teacher.

He's not going to be able to solve the attitude of management towards parental pressure in one specific private school. And he may retain his love for teaching if he moves to one which is not dysfunctional.

MrsUltra Sun 01-Nov-15 16:01:07

lol, I wonder how many unemployed chav parents are destroying teachers' lives in Barnsley? Probably the same tiny minority.

StayWithMe Sun 01-Nov-15 16:03:24

Then he should leave. There are plenty of schools where the parents don't give a fuck - perhaps he'd be happier there?

hmm Seems like one of those precious parents are on Mumsnet OP.

zas1 Sun 01-Nov-15 16:47:24

I am sorry but this place is chronic. Yes parents pay a lot but does that give them the right to totally own the teachers tell them what to do and blame them for every little shortcoming of their Jeremy or Jemima? They treat their au pairs and gardeners like skivvies and their teachers too. I worked around some people like this and I bloody HATE them. If you are one of them come on here and justify yourself

Pud2 Sun 01-Nov-15 17:08:27

I'm afraid it's not just private schools in SW London. There are also certain state schools in SW London where the middle class parents are very demanding and difficult to manage. Colleagues I know call it 'middle class nonsense' and try and see the funny side as otherwise it would drive you to drink! In my view it's sometimes caused by parents who may have had successful careers in their former life and are now SAH mums. There is a certain frustration and competitiveness and they pour all their energy into being seen to be the 'perfect parent'. Or, it can be parents who work full time and feel a sense of guilt which they take out on the school.

ProfGrammaticus Sun 01-Nov-15 17:10:33

Goady

Foxyloxy1plus1 Sun 01-Nov-15 17:10:36

It is market forces though for some parents isn't it. If you pay the piper, you get to call the tune- however unreasonable it's perceived to be. If you're part of the management system in the school, worrying over pupil numbers and trying to ensure that the school stays afloat, you're probably not going to take the parent to task either.

People who are used to having people to take care of many everyday tasks probably don't recognise that teachers are a different category and have different constraints. Maybe the parents don't actually know their children very well.

To be honest, there are parents in stat schools too, who have expectations that teachers will do the things that the majority would regard as the job of the parent. I once taught a five year old who had only ever used a potty. It was apparently my job to do the rest of the toilet training.

SurlyCue Sun 01-Nov-15 17:13:52

If you are one of them come on here and justify yourself

1) how could they resist such a warm invitation? hmm
2) if they are those type of people they wont recognise themselves in your description They treat their au pairs and gardeners like skivvies and their teachers too. if they did they would hardly be putting their hands up here and admitting it.

AnotherNewt Sun 01-Nov-15 17:43:11

"worrying over pupil numbers and trying to ensure that the school stays afloat"

I'd be surprised if this was a worry to any established pre-prep/prep in SW London. Though there are new(ish) ones too. I can't help wondering which school it is. Things like an exodus of staff and weird senior management do get noticed, and parent do vote with their feet.

christinarossetti Sun 01-Nov-15 17:57:07

My friend teaches at one of the state schools in North London whicj often gets mentioned Mn.

Some of the parents sound like a complete pita in terms of their need to micro-manage their child's school experience, and make sure their child gets the best part in the Xmas play etc.

It's become worse now that there"s more of a complaining culture in wider society and that a stroppy email taking seconds to write can trigger a huge time consuming investigation.

Leavingsosoon Sun 01-Nov-15 17:57:57

If this was about a sink school people would be going mad.

zas1 Sun 01-Nov-15 18:35:56

Well I'm sorry but these people DO exist. A colleague of my DB works in this SW London ( full of yummy Mummy 4*4 driving types living in crap terraced houses "worth' millions married to City bankers) & also in Purley about 5 miles away and she says the "sw London" area parents are a NIGHTMARE. I just can't bear what these awful people are doing to society

SurlyCue Sun 01-Nov-15 18:41:54

confused who said they didnt exist?

Tbh i'm not understanding what point youre making. Also, it sounds like youre holding a lot of anger from hearing second hand stories from friends of friends. Why has this specific issue got you so riled?

I just can't bear what these awful people are doing to society

grin this^^ is truly hilarious.

zas1 Sun 01-Nov-15 18:48:25

I am riled because my kind intelligent and diligent DB has been signed off with stress because of the antics of these people who presumably regard this as some kind of success. He hates his job has a big mortgage and young child and is desperate to provide for them and I really feel for him. He says many of his colleagues privately hate their jobs and are just clinging on.

SurlyCue Sun 01-Nov-15 18:53:34

because of the antics of these people who presumably regard this as some kind of success.

If his school was providing any sort of back up then he wouldnt be having these issues, this isnt just a parent issue. The school has helped to foster this dynamic.

Is he tied in to a fixed contract? Why hasnt he found work elsewhere if he hates it?

zas1 Sun 01-Nov-15 18:57:26

He is looking for another job outside teaching. The school doesn't provide back up because as far as it is concerned the.precious fee paying parents are all. But I don't see how this absolves the parents many of whom can only pay private fees because their own parents bought houses in Battersea/Clapham when they were for normal people, from responsibility.

SurlyCue Sun 01-Nov-15 18:59:18

But I don't see how this absolves the parents many of whom can only pay private fees because their own parents bought houses in Battersea/Clapham when they were for normal people, from responsibility

Who said it does?

zas1 Sun 01-Nov-15 19:09:18

You Surlycue said "this isn't just a parent issue". Hermione said he should teach at a school where parents "don't give a fuck". Beautifully expressed btw.

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