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Professional guilt, talk some sense into me?

(9 Posts)
wobblyday Sat 10-Oct-15 13:08:08

I've NC for to start this as I'm recognisable.

I'm in a HoD in a middle school, I've been off sick for just over a week now, I had an operation last week.
Maybe it's as a result of the anaesthetic but I've been in floods of tears for the last few days.

Although I was expecting to have an operation in the foreseeable in the end my condition became acute so it was done as an emergency.
I had to be readmitted post op as there were complications.

Aside from this I'm usually fit and well but I'm frustrated at my lack of progress physically, I am exhausted just walking upstairs. I'm still not well.

I feel that I must go back to school later next week, I've set very thorough cover work from our SoL but I do not want my students to have to suffer. For reasons beyond my control my team is struggling and they do need me there.

I've just read the thread in chat about someone complaining because their child's class teacher takes so much time off, I feel so guilty about the burden my absence is placing on my students and the team.

Last year and this I've probably taken a month off as a result of the condition leading up to this. I'm a good teacher, I love my job, I want to be working and I certainly don't want to feel like this.
I'm beating myself up with guilt.

DoreenLethal Sat 10-Oct-15 13:16:23

When is half term? Can't you give yourself a break, the cover teaching staff will cope and get better ready to face them after half term?

RoosterCogburn Sat 10-Oct-15 13:22:05

In the nicest possible way get a grip and stop feeling guilty!

What would you say to a colleague in your position? I'm willing to bet that you would be insisting that they take the time they need to recover and not rush back to work.

If you are exhausted after walking up the stairs there is no way you can be back in work - you know that teaching is relentless and from the moment you set foot in the building you will be working flat out - because you have been off everyone will need to speak to you or ask you to do things for them.

Surely it's better to take time to recover and then go back to work able to cope. If you go back too soon in the long term you don't help anyone.

I would see your GP and get signed off for a week week (or even better until after half term) then make a decision

You might feel your team are struggling without you but the bottom line is none of us are indispensable - if they aren't coping perhaps on your return new systems need to be put in place so that if a similar situation arrises there is provision for your (or anyone elses) absence. For the moment you are recovering so it is not your concern.

Hope you feel better soon.

dippydeedoo Sat 10-Oct-15 13:22:23

You are being daft,youre poorly youve had surgery and you need this time off,go back too soon and you will be off again ill....
i think its the after effects of the anaesthetic and your op and you are feeling a bit sensitive.
get well and then get back to work xx
You are one of a team they have to cope without you.

Florriesma Sat 10-Oct-15 13:28:26

You're not being daft to feel this way but you would be beyond day to go back.
I'm nursing. I see colleagues do this a lot. The trouble is they aren't well enough to go back and it delays there recovery. Also (as you know) once you are back it is assumed you are fit.
In the nicest way your colleagues probably don't need you as much as you think. They are going to have to man up for a bit. View it as professional developmentconfusedyou know what I mean. The only person who is going to look after your needs is you. Best wishes

HarrietVane99 Sat 10-Oct-15 13:30:36

You'll be more use to your department if you take the time to get fully fit and go back ready to get on top of everything, than if you go back too soon, are struggling, and perhaps end up having to take more time off.

Isn't it only two weeks to half term? I'd take that time, if your doctor thinks it's reasonable.

Is there anything you can legitimately do from home, if your doctor says you're fit for that? You could take some of the burden from your colleagues that way perhaps, if it would make you feel better? That would be less stressful and tiring than travelling to school and standing in front of a class.

Branleuse Sat 10-Oct-15 13:41:17

4 days to a week after a GA and it all leaves your system, makes grown men cry. You need to be gentle with yourself. My youngest daughter had substitute teachers a fair bit last year and whilst its not ideal, all the parents were more than understanding of the reasons why, and all te children were and are absolutely fine

wobblyday Sat 10-Oct-15 13:49:02

There is some work I can do from home, that's a good idea.
I saw my GP on Thursday, she said I must go back to see her before I go back to work. I'm hoping she will give me a fit to work note with restricted conditions.

My 2nd in department left in July for promotion, it wasn't anything I did! and now we are an Academy SLT aren't going to replace her.
Everyone in my team does a bit but no-one else has a TLR so there is a limit to what they can and will do.
Aside from me the team is short because one had an accident, one is recently bereaved and one is having chemotherapy.
Since I've been absent some of the staff have contacted me to ask questions, it's not a lack of delegation on my part but a lack of people to delegate to but this contact has increased my perception of the pressure to return.

As HoD I voluntarily teach most of our characterful classes, the longer I'm away the tougher it will be to get them back and every lesson counts for those groups.

Half term starts next weekend, my logic was that if I go back at the end of next week I will be able to get on top of things before the break.

Wolfiefan Sat 10-Oct-15 13:52:33

Wobbly you need to think of it this way...if you go back to work before you are ready you will hamper your recovery and end up worse off. This will mean more time off and the students will suffer more.
I spent nearly 20 years as a teacher. Sometimes we need to remembered are not the only ones who can teach those classes!
Get well soon.

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