Hi, fatcheeks1 here :>) I've namechanged(3 Posts)
Just wanted to give those that were interested an update and to express how I'm feeling with friends who I think will understand.
Well, she came back yesterday!!!!! I did not know she was coming back, she knew she was coming in for a meeting with the head as her current mth off was up.I have been so busy with everything I hadn't noticed the weeks fly by and TBH there has been a heck of a lot happening.We have had a new phase leader start and she is a hoot.She is funny, down to earth, supportive and she is doing the job that my colleague was meant to be doing but wasn't! I am so much more relaxed in my teaching and with the children as there is someone who says nice things about me and appreciates the time I put in and the value I add to the team.I can't tell you what a difference that makes:>).We have really hit it off and even though she has only been there 5 weeks we are fast becoming friends as well as colleagues.
It is making up for losing my NQT friend who I still miss but the new person is so different and has made changes(for the better in my view) in the short time she has been there.She has drastically shortened my workload as she saw how unfair it was that I was doing so much and it was taking so long.She thinks I am the dogs nagers she really does (lol) I'm just doing my job.She really wants me to stay but I feel I need to go.I would come back to cover PPA time and it would be nice to work in reception again and to cover this class as they went up into yr 1.
Back to yesterday.When I heard she was in school I felt elated and then nervous.They phoned down to see when would be a good time for her to come down and I thought" well now" so she did.I was outside and the kids were running out to me telling me she was here.They were so excited and it was lovely to see.When I saw her she looked well, incredibly well.I thought this must be hard for you.She has been out of the class for a good 4 mths, there are children (2) that have left and 3 new children have started.Their parents think I am the class teacher!
She was there all day.As I didn't know she was coming in (SLT's fault) I hadn't prepared for her.I hadn't prepared myself or the children.It was bittersweet to see their reactions especially from the boys, they were shy.When we were both doing carpet time she was asking a question and they were looking at me for reassurance.It is messing with my head if I'm honest.
O.k , I'll be truthful, this is what I was feeling, resentment, jealousy, anger (because of the mess she left me to deal with) and then guilt as I'm a nice person and I know she must have been in a bad way both mentally and physically.I felt let down that I was thought so little of that they didn't have the decency to tell me she was coming back.I'VE ONLY BEEN THEIR CLASS TEACHER FOR HOW MANY MONTHS!!!!!
And I'm left to do the frickin reports as she timed it nicely to coincide with her return but I may just do the 6 that are required for 1st day back and then when she is up to speed with kids (ability wise) she can take over!
I had to go into one of the other class and get a hug from the LSA and then I started crying (silly moo :>) ) I was surprised by my reaction.
I really am unsure as to how this will pan out.She doesn't know other than she needs to have 2 additional breaks during the day and there are certain things she can't do.At least I have these holidays to get used to the idea.
Thanks for the update fat cheeks, have been wondering how you were. I can totally relate to and understand your feelings. I'm glad you have a good phase leader now, that makes a huge difference.
I was in a similar position when covering a long term sick leave. The difference was that I knew and really liked the permanent class teacher and she had been really nice to me when I was on placement so I was more than happy to make allowances for all the uncertainty over her return. It was still hard though. Anyway, enjoy the break for now.
Can you link to old thread, OP? I read but cant find now.
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