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Help - one week to decide

(110 Posts)
punygod Sun 18-May-14 16:54:31

Basically, I hate my job.

I teach English in a small rural secondary school - which sounds idyllic.

It's not.

Behaviour is appalling, SLT are useless, the school is just out of SM and every day there are new initiatives, scrutinies, etc etc. It's impossible to keep up.

I've been observed to death and earlier this year my GP signed me off for three weeks for work-related stress, prescribing sertraline to get me through to the end of the year. He advised that I change my career.

There's a misogynistic 'lad' culture in the staff room - we're talking scat porn being passed around on phones, and last week a cover supervisor exposed his bare arse in the staff room. I came home and cried all night.

I know this job is unsustainable, but the hard facts are I'm not qualified for anything else, my dp is currently looking for work and as a result of some poor decision making, my stbxh gives me no money for our kids (we do 50/50) even though dp and I do the lion's share of buying their things, treats etc.

I have kept our large ex-marital home on because I want my children to have some stability and because house prices mean I would be selling it very cheaply - and it's my main asset.

I have no mortgage and I do have a small income from investments, so I might be able to make ends meet - but the thought of losing the main household income really scares me.

I've no idea what to do. I feel trapped.

Does anyone have any advice?

Kezzybear Sun 18-May-14 16:58:31

Could you supply? Or do you want out of teaching completely? It sounds awful, so if you could cope I would resign.

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:00:14

I've been wondering about supply, but I hear that the market is flooded as so many people want out - especially English teachers.

After years of instability (marriage break-up, etc) a permanent job seemed like a godsend, but it's such a nightmare.

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:01:03

I do want out, I think, eventually. I've lost the love.

It was all I ever wanted to do hmm

Panzee Sun 18-May-14 17:06:04

Sounds awful, but I can see why you're reluctant to jump.

But ask yourself this. If you don't do it now, you're there till December. Is that too far away for you? Could you stand it for a term and a half more or not? If you think you can get till at least December then maybe you should stay and decide again in October. If you don't think you can last that long, then you know what to do.

Good luck smile

AuntieBrenda Sun 18-May-14 17:07:39

Just get out. If you stay and have a breakdown, what use will you be to your family then?
You will find something else. To ride you over, I know that the WJEC exam board are desperate for lit and lang paper examiners. The conference for lit is next weekend in Cardiff but they pay your expenses, you will need an overnight sitter though as it starts at 9 and I'm assuming you're not near Cardiff. Get into this and that's twice a year you could take home a grand after tax. Better than nothing.
Good luck to you mate
You don't have to out up with this shit, life's too short thanks

PotteringAlong Sun 18-May-14 17:08:25

If you've got no mortgage you need to work out exactly howuvh money you need to live on, is what do you have to earn to make ends meet. And then work out what you want to earn to live how you'd like to live.

If you can do that working in sainsburys / supply / tutoring / working for exam board then leave and make it happen.

If you can't then you can't leave.

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:08:30

I ask myself that every half term.

I actually resigned this time last year, but felt so guilty I rescinded my resignation, and did another year - hence the sertraline...

I live from weekend to weekend - and we're due Ofsted any minute.

I sometimes wake up in tears.

AuntieBrenda Sun 18-May-14 17:08:47

You are allowed to mark multiple English subjects - you could do both if you wanted too x

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:09:24

I need £1500 a month. Ish.

AuntieBrenda Sun 18-May-14 17:09:55

You know you have to leave. Nobody deserves to be taking mental health medication because of their job.

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:11:30

My bills are stupidly large and I'm paying the lease on a car until a year in September (stupid too).

I'm stuck with a champagne lifestyle on an Irn Bru budget until house prices improve and my lease is up.

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:12:49

I have to go out now, but I'll be back later. Thanks for all advice.

AuntieBrenda Sun 18-May-14 17:14:33

If I were you if resign, mark gcse papers now and in jan and get myself on the supply register. I'd advertise myself as a tutor, and get myself off down to the job centre to get ANY job I could that would give me that 1500 or near to it.
There's no way id put myself through waking up crying, putting up with that creepy bollocks in the Staffroom of a school and be on setraline. No way. If this was you, looking in at someone else's life what would you say?
You've got about 6 /7 weeks left.

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:16:00

How do you go about tutoring? Do you just use your own resources?

I'm so scared of making yet another bad decision. I've made so many.

NCFTTB Sun 18-May-14 17:38:30

Definitely leave! Do supply and tutoring instead - at least while you look for something better.

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:47:09

Seems unanimous so far, but I'm very nervous.

I'm the sole breadwinner. It seems so irresponsible to just walk.

What on Earth do I put as my 'reason for leaving'?

And my attendance record is ropy due to the three weeks I was signed off.

What a mess hmm

ReeseWithoutHerSpoon Sun 18-May-14 17:49:46

My Sunday evening task is to write my resignation letter. Been there 9 years.

FidelineandFumblin Sun 18-May-14 17:50:01

I'm so scared of making yet another bad decision. I've made so many.

You'll make more if you remain under such extreme stress.

Just resign. No job is worth this.

Almost any PT job/tutoring/supply plus tax credits will tide you over. Once you're out you'll be able to think more clearly and then you can formulate the long term plan.

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:50:33

What are you going to do instead, Reese?

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:51:52

That's the thing - I feel like while I'm there I'll never have the wherewithal to find something else.

I'm not sure I'm eligible for tax credits due to my investments.

FidelineandFumblin Sun 18-May-14 17:52:16

And my attendance record is ropy due to the three weeks I was signed off.

Does it matter? It was certified sick leave after all - not truancy! 'Work related stress' seems a reasonable motivation to cite.

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:53:38

I'm on The Flow Chart of Shame blushhmm

FidelineandFumblin Sun 18-May-14 17:55:13

I'm not sure I'm eligible for tax credits due to my investments.

Capital is ignored for Tax Credits, but income may be taken into consideration. Why don't you read up on the rules as one of your first steps to freedom?

punygod Sun 18-May-14 17:55:22

I know it seems like I'm playing the 'yes, but' game, but I really have lost a lot of financial security in recent years. I'm worried I'll just replace one lot of stress with another.

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