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Big decision to make. My head is a mess. Please talk to me!!

(25 Posts)
DevonFolk Sat 05-Apr-14 04:54:42

I'll try to keep it brief:

I'm a LP to DD who is starting school in September. We live in a fantastic village and I'm really pleased with the school she'll be going to. It's small, she's got great friends going , lovely staff.

I haven't worked since having DD, so have been out of the classroom for four years. I've done a school related course and have recently been spending time in the village school as a volunteer.

An amazing job opportunity has come up locally, once which is unlikely to come.up again. We're very rural and the majority of schools are small so finding the right job isn't easy. I had always told myself I'd plan to work PT and not start until January so I could be around for DD during her first term at school. However, this job is FT and starts in September.

I'm now in a fix. DD is facing a huge change in September and if I suddenly start working FT she'll be looking at really long days with having to go to a CM before and after school (that's if I can even find one). The only alternative is enrolling her in the school where this job is. But I feel like I'd be doing it for all the wrong reasons. It's so different to our little village

DevonFolk Sat 05-Apr-14 04:59:20

Bollocks, sorry, fat fingers posted too soon!

I'm making this too long. In short: do I make a decision about DD's school based on what I feel is best for her or do I go with what's convenient and will allow me to take a really exciting job opportunity?

The whole 'will I actually cope with working FT in a new and challenging role whilst also looking after and exhausted young child' question would be a whole other thread!

redcaryellowcar Sat 05-Apr-14 05:03:11

i think in your situation i would apply for the job, if its what you really want and worry about the mechanics when you get it? if you don't really want a ft job or to start until January then maybe it isn't for you?

Wurstwitch Sat 05-Apr-14 05:05:23

If you enrol her in the school where the job is, it will be even worse. You will still need before and after school care, and it will be impossible for you. Lots of teachers give up work when their kids start yr r.

Keep her where you want her, and take the job.

DevonFolk Sat 05-Apr-14 05:20:37

Thanks for replying.

I have a general fear and anxiety about not knowing how things are going to work out which is why I'm trying to get my head around it all now. I don't think I'd feel comfortable potentially going for an interview and not having a plan.

I just wish this had come up 12 months from now!

Wurstwitch if lots of teachers give up when their DCs start school I've really got this the wrong way around haven't I?!

Hollygolately Sat 05-Apr-14 05:40:30

In a way, you're combining two big changes into one. Without meaning to sound harsh, she won't know any different - to her, "school" will always be the normal school day plus before/ after school care.

Do what's best for you, and you'll both be happier.

Springcleanish Sat 05-Apr-14 05:41:24

My kids have had wrap around care since a few months old. The only thing that makes it feasible in my eyes is the holidays, but saying that, they love it. Although I have work to do in the hols I can work at home or take them with me. My kids are really proud of my job and love meeting my students out and about or at school events.
However, I would go with the village school, working and having kids in the same school, is too close for me if I was unhappy with something.
What is the job? Good luck.

antimatter Sat 05-Apr-14 05:44:50

Apply for the job.
Send her to your local school.
You will have time to work out if this is workable scenario once you get job offer.

Good Luck!

DevonFolk Sat 05-Apr-14 06:27:22

Thank you for the encouragement. Spring the job is to lead a Thrive unit. It would be a huge challenge. I've been training to become a Thrive practitioner this year and it's amazing that this role has come up now.

My fear for DD is that on the days I've had training she's been with a CM before and after pre-school on two consecutive days and it's almost finished her off.

I know I'd be mad not to apply. Four years out of the classroom coupled with newly developed (low level) anxiety just just isn't helping!

NCFTTB Sat 05-Apr-14 07:14:20

Apply for the job - if it's meant to be you'll get it. I agree also that your daughter will just view wraparound care as part of the whole starting school experience.

PenguinBear Sat 05-Apr-14 07:17:39

Go for it! If it's meant to be, things will work out and fall into place.

If it doesn't happen, Atleast you won't have the 'what of' hanging over you that you would if you didn't apply!

PenguinBear Sat 05-Apr-14 07:17:50


nkf Sat 05-Apr-14 07:23:19

Go for it. Exciting job opportunities don't come up that often in my opinion.

ExcuseTypos Sat 05-Apr-14 07:27:07

I'd go for it.

If she went to the same school as you, would she be allowed to come and sit in the classroom before and after school? If so I'd let her do that.

Can I ask what a thrive unit is?

phlebasconsidered Sat 05-Apr-14 08:16:10

I have taught at my kids school and they were not allowed to sit in my classroom, I had to pay for the breakfast and after-school club.

DevonFolk Sat 05-Apr-14 08:47:27

ExcuseTypos Thrive is a programme designed to support children with social and emotional problems which impact on their behaviour. It's based early brain development and is absolutely fascinating. More info here

I wouldn't be a class teacher and therefore wouldn't have a classroom so I'm not sure what sort of arrangement I could make. It's something I would bring up if I were to be offered an interview. I've always loved the idea of working in the school that DD goes to, but my experience has always been of small schools where there is no breakfast or after school clubs and DCs of various members of staff just get to play on computers or generally do what they want around the school.

I definitely believe in the 'meant to be' aspect of finding the right job. I just need to find some confidence from somewhere smile

ExcuseTypos Sat 05-Apr-14 10:45:53

Thank you Devon, I'll have a read of that info.

Could you go and look around the school and whilst there ask if it would be possible for DD to go there?

DevonFolk Sat 05-Apr-14 11:12:20

I had a look around yesterday (which is why my head is now a mess!)

I didn't ask at the time because, well, I'm not certain why! I don't see it being a huge problem though because the head did say they're very flexible on numbers. Some year groups have 40+ while others are in the low 20s. The only issue might be catchment. I would definitely ask the question if I get an interview.

Do have a look at Thrive. It's amazing!

NCFTTB Sat 05-Apr-14 11:32:10

If your instinct is saying go for it then you should. You don't want to regret not applying once the opportunity has passed.

yegodsandlittlefishes Sat 05-Apr-14 11:37:33

In your situation, my mum put the job first and I went to school she taught at. Good for her, not so good for me. As a consequence I couldn't go for the job as it would have affected my confidence in my parenting and bond with my DCs. That is just me though! Without that in my background, as others have said, go for the job.

DevonFolk Sat 05-Apr-14 13:36:55

Thank you to everyone, I really do appreciate your input. I'm so so torn about the whole thing. I'm terrified of doing the wrong thing by DD and finding myself with a full time, permanent contract and everything going tits up, not coping with the job, the hours, keeping on top of things at home etc.

I'm fairly certain I'll apply and of course there's no guarantee of even getting shortlisted. But I'm a planner (as well as a fretter!) so I need to get all these thoughts sorted out now.

Thank you again thanks

TheBuskersDog Sat 05-Apr-14 14:09:08

I think if you decide to go for the job you should send your daughter to the local school, which you obviously decided was the right school for her, unless the school you would be working at is an even better school for her.

If she is picked up by a CM she will be no more worn out at 6pm than if you picked her up and took her back to your house. Even if she went to the same school as you you'd still need childcare, the suggestion of children hanging around school for a couple of hours waiting for a parent to finish is terrible, very unprofessional.

You need to ask yourself what you are prepared to compromise on, and what your priorities are both short and long-term.

toomuchicecream Sat 05-Apr-14 17:53:42

Could the thrive job be done part time? Say, a slightly later start so you could drop her off, or a 2.30 finish 2 or 3 days a week so you could pick her up? Worth asking.

DevonFolk Sat 05-Apr-14 20:24:51

toomuch it sounds like it's going to be a pretty full on job and so they're very much looking for someone to be in every day, but it's certainly worth asking the question about earlier finishes on a couple of days.

TheLateMrsLizCromwell Sun 13-Apr-14 19:48:44

Definitely go for the job, and send DD to the local school. As others have said, it will be the new normal for her, and she will be happy! It will be no harder to adjust than if you had been at home - easier to adjust in fact than if you start work when she is in Year 1 or 2. Everyone has to work things out when DC start school, and the first few weeks are always tough, but it does work out, and you and she have a far better future if you are working in the field you have trained for.

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