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All techers are wangers

(34 Posts)
notnowImreading Fri 28-Mar-14 06:57:41

What's your favourite ever pupil graffiti or textbook alteration?

I have two: one was by a member of my tutor group (year 9!) and was written on the wall by my desk - it said, 'I shagged XXXX in your chair miss, sorry about the stain.'

The other is an alteration to Much Ado, where Don John no longer says that he would 'rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace.' No, Don John would much rather be a wanker in a hedge.

Have you come across any gems?

phlebasconsidered Fri 28-Mar-14 18:43:31

Every single incidence of "Protestant" in a KS3 History textbook changed to "prostitute".

tethersend Fri 28-Mar-14 19:20:10

When I was on my art PGCE, I did a series of crosstitch samplers of desk graffiti.

My personal favourite was the timeless classic Naveed is a dick, closely followed by Writing is shit.

notnowImreading Fri 28-Mar-14 20:44:27

I love this idea of the sweary samplers - genius.

RegainingUnconsciousness Fri 28-Mar-14 20:47:27

We once had a massive cock & balls go up just by the school gate on ofsted day a few years back!

Other than that is just more willies all over our beaten up old text books. One is very thoroughly covered - it's like Where's Wally finding them on every page.

Lottiedoubtie Fri 28-Mar-14 20:50:21

Mr & Mrs Doubtie did it HERE!!

It did make me laugh, and I can assure you we didn't wink

phlebasconsidered Fri 28-Mar-14 21:17:51

Off topic a bit, but in 5th form (showing my age) me and my mate won a bet by drawing a massive weiner along the length of a corridor, expressing itself joyously just before the Head's office. We got severe letters home and a big telling off 80's style. Although I suspect half the staff room were with us.

Orangeanddemons Fri 28-Mar-14 21:23:50

We used to have a book in Music called 'A book to Sing'. This was always always changed to 'a book to sling at Sir'

I also remember doing Jane a eyre in Englsh. One of the boys changed decorated the demure picture of Charlotte Bronte on the front, in Kiss style make up. It kind of changed your opinion on the book somehow...

Nocomet Fri 28-Mar-14 21:28:49

Our primary school comprehension books were called

"Do You Understand?"

Below which, on every single copy, was written "No"

fourcorneredcircle Sat 29-Mar-14 09:56:14

Students at one of my former schools planted a bank of flowers during a community action day. Bank of flowers grew to be a large daffodil penis. When by the daffs died back the new plants gew around the previous shape ensuring a summer long erection was visible...

notnowImreading Sat 29-Mar-14 12:05:09

That is the winner! Wow, how wonderful. Appropriate for spring too - a sort of fertility rite. grin

balia Sat 29-Mar-14 22:40:54

Oh God, I remember being shown a drawing by a rather elderly and straight-laced SEN teacher. She was really pleased, she'd been working with the student on his motor skills. She thought it was a parrot on a perch. She had it at the wrong angle and it was, in fact, a huge cock.

And I had to tell her, before she showed anyone else.

IDoAllMyOwnStunts Sat 29-Mar-14 22:47:15

We did Oliver Twist for O level. Which became graffitied on our copies to Oliver Twisted Charles Dickend.
Still makes me snigger now.

Lottiedoubtie Sat 29-Mar-14 22:48:14


I worked with an older and v. Straight laced teacher who had to deal with the girl who'd drawn an approximation of what she thought straight laced teacher looked like naked! shock

steppemum Sat 29-Mar-14 22:50:35

the flowers!! grin grin

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Sat 29-Mar-14 22:54:09

Off topic slightly, a friend of ds got caught by police, we have some old fashioned iron bollards with a, ahem, bulbous top. Every single one had been subtly altered with a discreet vertical line down this bit. Cop just sighed and said "what is it with you boys and cocks?"

wearingpurple Sat 29-Mar-14 22:54:31

A friend and I used to volunteer to tidy up the cupboard in the music room on cold days instead of being forced out into the playground.

All the choir music was kept there, and we were delighted to find the manuscript of a song called 'I Waited For The Lord' under which was written in pencil IN THE MUSIC TEACHER'S HANDWRITING 'but he didn't turn up'.

She went up several points in our estimations for that grin.

ravenAK Sat 29-Mar-14 22:56:51

My middle set year 11 boys are addicted to drawing cocks all over their books, & each others'.

I am extremely proud that my neologism for cock has finally caught on. 'Miss! Jordan's drawing a gove on my work again! Miss!'

ravenAK Sat 29-Mar-14 22:59:21

Oh, & quite a lot of the Year 8 copies of 'Holes' have had the word 'Arse' added above the titles.

Someone did put 'Ass*' instead. Inside the front cover was: '*because it is American'. grin.

AnimalsAreMyFriends Sat 29-Mar-14 23:10:48

ravenAK grin @ drawing a gove!!!! <adopts instantly>

When my dd (11) shared my Gove opinions with her class teacher I was blush at the thought of it! She looked me right in the eye and I swear she winked as she told me - "it's ok mum! I didn't say you think he's a wanker"

I remember in the 80's our German text books all had cartoon style farts drawn by every line drawing - human or animal!

RegainingUnconsciousness Sat 29-Mar-14 23:11:10

Ahahahaha! "Drawing a Gove"!!! I'm totally having that one. (Not that I'll be encouraging the kids, of course)

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Sun 30-Mar-14 00:15:34

That's brill. Dds friend for her gcse art got quotes from news, parents, teachers students about Cock head and did a pictures made up of them. Hit of the staff room. most were fucking rude and true

Chimchar Wed 02-Apr-14 07:12:11

When I was in school (a hundred years ago!) al the geography books had an X written on to the end of Tampa.

Lots of rude stuff (Marie Clare is a slag, Jean Paul sucks cock etc) written about the kids in the French text't remember what it was called...La Rochelle featured highly though. Was it called Tricolore?

Love all of these.

noblegiraffe Wed 02-Apr-14 10:21:49

I once met a French person who knew the family from La Rochelle in the Tricolore textbook! They were real people!

MrsCosmopilite Wed 02-Apr-14 10:38:39

I'm not a teacher, but I do recall a classmate amending her copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream. All through the text, Titania became Tit, and Bottom became Bum.

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