I have been a teacher for well over 20 years. I have been in my current school for over 13 years. I am pretty much the last of the people who were there when I started.
I am not an outstanding teacher and I admit I never will be but I am a good, steady, competent teacher.
3 years ago our school was Ofsteded. I was observed twice. Once I was told my lesson was a solid good lesson, nothing special but good. In the second lesson I went against all my instincts and crashed and burned. I was the first to admit it was a shite lesson. SLT did not take my failure well. At that inspection we went into Notice to Improve. As one of the teachers who was seen to be inadequate I was subjected to a high level f scrutiny and I have now developed a high degree of anxiety around observations. It does not matter how much I prepare, who I get to check my planning, I still perform badly.
My role over the past two years involved boosting individual children and covering for team leaders on a rotating timetable so there is very little evidence of progress for children I teach.
In the terms that followed I was observed by people from the authority and the SLT. On one memorable occasion a group of children didn't understand so I adapted my planning to suit and addressed the issue. The observer was full of all the positive things I'd done but then graded me as inadequate because the children who hadn't undstood hadn't made enough progress.
I then had a series of lessons graded as good with outstanding features and began to breath again.
At my end of year interview last year I asked to be moved out of my current year group and into the key stage where my strengths lie. My request was refused and my role was changed.
I teach a group of children and I have the brief to get them to level 3 by the end of ks1. We have a culture of 'optimism' over children's levels and, unfortunately, the group I have are not as bright as perhaps their levels suggest....
I was observed at the midpoint of last term and given requires improvement, the criticisms were fair and I worked to address them. I was put on a TIP and I worked hard to meet the tasks on there. About a week before the follow up observation I was/asked to vacate my teaching space and move to an area that is basically a corridor. In my follow up observation it was noted that I had addressed all the issues from before. I was, however, given requires improvement for a new set of issues....
I was then off sick with a chest infection and a sinus infection and the support I was promised did not materialise.
I was observed on Friday morning by my 'mentor' who gave me a list of things I do well and a few minor things to address. This is the sum total of the support I have had.
I will be observed again on Tuesday by a member of the slt as a follow up to my last requires improvement lesson.
I have also discovered on Friday that I am to be subjected to a lesson 'pop in' , two learning walks and a third formal observation. This will all happen before the end of January.
I am broken. The kids I teach are making progress but, spookily enough, it isn't linear and is not fast enough for the liking of the SLT. I spend my lessons building confidence, convincing these children that they are capable of the work. They are just starting to blossom but it isn't fast enough.
I know I will be on capability by the end of next week.
I am broken. Maybe they are right and I am rubbish. They are holding up the fact that my team leader's group have made faster progress than mine but there are times when she has 15 children in her room and 4 or 5 adults.
I can only see one way out.
I apologise for the epic length! I doubt there is much you can say. I just needed to wail a bit to people who might understand.
Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.
The staffroom
On the road to capability. Broken and need to wail.
neverputasockinatoaster · 11/01/2014 14:51
So sorry to read this. This is exactly this sort of thing that makes me despair - and move a step closer to chucking in the towel. I have to say that there but for the grace of God go any of us.
It probably doesn't help your situation practically, but I have zero confidence in the whole process. I remember once, years ago (when observation criteria were a little different) following an exact lesson that dh had done in his school (for which he got outstanding and Ofsted raved about its structure, content and delivery) and my then HT (who had an issue with me at the time, for securing a part-time post that he didn't want) ripped it apart on grounds of poor structure and content. Delivery is subjective, I know, although I also know dh's teaching style and I reckon we're pretty similar. The make-up of the class was very similar too. I pointed out Ofsted's response in our post-mortem, and he just shrugged and said "these things happen!" 
We got over it (although I never forgave him!) and within a year I was golden girl again.
So, basically, they will find what they want to find and we're all victims to it. Dark days in the teaching profession!
Been in a similar situation but I just tried to battle through it, doing as I was asked, etc.
Dec 9, I set off for work and about 1/2 way couldn't go any more. I pulled over, had a MAHOOSIVE cry, called in sick and drove straight to the dr's.
After a telephone convo with my GP and organising an appointment for 2 days later, I went home and had a miserable day - alternately contemplating suicide or telling my lovely lovely DH that he should divorce me and I would take all our debts while he took the assets (not many, tbh).
The upshot of that is that I wasn't courageous enough to do either of those things, had another massive cry on DH's shoulder, started AD's after seeing the Dr and resigned with 2 weeks' notice on Dec 16th. I concluded that the HT wouldn't fight me as she clearly didn't want me on the staff anymore, despite 12 years good service, and I was right.
Officially unemployed now, but I'm not suicidal any more. I guess the drugs will be helping with that though!! 
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Oh 
I sympathise.
This is why I am ready to walk away from teaching too. I suspect I have all this coming because my face doesn't fit & it has been made clear that my boss wants me out.
Best of luck to you x
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