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Ds1 (year 1) - Have been told he is a whole year behind in everything. Teacher not giving me anything to help him at home.

(10 Posts)
SilveryMoon Tue 19-Mar-13 21:03:28

Hope it's ok to post this here, just wanted to ask your advise.
So my ds1 is a year behind in every subject. His teacher tells me he has lots of extra support at school.
I told her I was more than happy to help support him at home with whatever i could.
She seemed pleased to hear this, but has not given me any guidance on what to do or how to do it.
I have been doing some searching for activities and curriculum plans for mainstream year 1/reception and the more I look the more confused I'm getting blush
I have asked his teacher repeatedly for some guidance on what to do with him but she rarely responds to my communications.
I know she has a lot on what with 30 children in the class, but I really want to be able to encourage and help ds with stuff at home too.
So, what is he supposed to be able to do, and any idea what I should be doing at home with him?
I would really appreciate it if anyone could point me in the direction of things we can do at home for numeracy and literacy.
I have a literacy workbook that I ordered from amazon that looks at the first 100 sight words with books for him to make, flash cards, word searches and bingo cards etc but I am at a loss for numeracy.
He doesn't know how to do halves, pairs, counting in 5's or 10's and I don't really know where to start.
Up to what number should he recognise?
I'm thinking of starting by checking he knows numbers 1-20 and adding one/taking one away, counting in 2's, 5's and 10's, odds and evens and basic addition/subtraction.
Any tips or pointers would be much appreciated.

adeucalione Wed 20-Mar-13 13:01:16

I'm not a teacher any more but didn't want to read and run - there might be some better advice along shortly.

Personally I would not be worrying about the Y1 curriculum at all, but would just be reinforcing basic literacy and numeracy skills at home. I would be sharing books at every opportunity, playing maths games (such as snakes and ladders) and asking DS to do simple maths calculations at home or when you are out and about.

So, you could get him to pay for things, work out how much change he should have, count out his own pocket money using 5p coins, cut the pizza into enough slices for everyone in the family, measure ingredients for baking and find specific numbers on car number plates or front doors.

I really do think that this should be unobtrusive reinforcement rather than workbooks - as soon as he thinks he needs extra work, his confidence will plummet and that will make everything 100 x harder. Not to mention that he is very little, and will be tired enough of doing work at school, especially if it is challenging for him, without coming home and doing more.

primroseyellow Wed 20-Mar-13 18:35:26

Suggest lots of practical activities for maths, just reinforcing number bonds to 10 (9+1, 8+2 etc), then 20, using eg buttons, marbles etc so it is more of a game to begin with. Don't worry too much about the KS1 curriculum, just try and help him get to grips with basic number skills. After addition try simple subtraction, then division and multiplication but keep it simple so he can do it and feels confident. Whatever you do make it fun or he may get turned off completely.
And remember it is his teacher's job to teach him, that is what she is paid for!If you've tried communicating with her in writing maybe try just talking to her directly? Some children who are slow to grasp things just need loads and loads of reinforcement before they move on the next thing, this is probably where you can help most - but only if she tells you what is needed!

SilveryMoon Wed 20-Mar-13 19:50:16

Thank you for the replies.
I do have a tendancy to over think and complicate things, I just don't want to look back in years to come and think I should have done more, you know?
The reason I don't talk face to face with the teacher is because I work full time and don't do the school run, so is hard to see her. Plus, she is very negative.
I have spoken to the head teacher because I was very concerned about how serious the teacher made it sound and how concerned she was about him being so far behind.
She spoke of SENCO and IEP's saying that ds1 had an iep and was being reported back to senco about, so I wanted to know why I hadn't been informed of this prior to standard parents evening, why I haven't seen his iep or been told he was under senco only to speak to the head teacher who told me none of these things were happening, he was in a small intervention group but by no means was being overseen by senco or had an iep.
He is 5yo and in class is writing cold letters, is told to write a letter to someone about a book/adventure to see if he remembers to use the word 'dear' at the start and that they have to do completely independent writing with no instruction once a week, which seems a bit much for 5 year olds..........?

Phineyj Tue 02-Apr-13 22:59:08

Hmm. I am wondering if the issue is with the teacher rather than your DS! There's no way things could be at IEP/SENCO level without you even being informed, however, perhaps the SENCO might be more helpful than the teacher?

I think adeucalione's advice is good. I have done this with my nieces for years and plan to do so with my DD when she is old enough. Museums are good for a day out and to do literacy and numeracy based on something that interests your DS, and they are often free. Have a look to see what your local adult ed college offers -- ours does parent and child sessions on a Saturday - libraries do as well. If you take consistent interest in his education and ask him about it you're already doing more than a lot of people.

SilveryMoon Sun 07-Apr-13 14:19:58

Just seen this. Thanks Phineyj
I have since had another conversation with the teacher where she continued to insist he was on an IEP and that I, as parent, didn't need to be involved/informed of that and that ds1 was being overseen by SENCO.
This was over a phone conversation. I got a bit frustrated because I do know that I need to see an IEP and be told if he were under SENCO. The teacher was very patronising, and rude I felt, so I ended the conversation.
I was called back a few minutes later by the schools inclusion leader who was able to clear up the situation by telling me that the teacher has misunderstood his class based targets.
I have started to do a bit of extra work with ds1 at home, which he is trying hard with and enjoying. I am making it fun and make sure I add some 'easy' stuff in to help woth his confidence.
I get no feedback or response from the teacher when I write in to tell her how he is doing at home, she doesn't even acknowledge notes.
I am quite frustrated that I am not getting any guidance whatsoever in how to support my ds1, but not sure what is and is not reasonable.

mousebacon Tue 23-Apr-13 21:31:02

Silverymoon, I've just seen this. Do you feel like you're any further forward now?

If your DS has targets of his own then you should definitely be made aware of what they are.

I'd be happy to send you word lists or ideas for games etc if you want to pm me.

Find out what his targets are though, maybe via the head? The teacher doesn't seem very on the ball.

mousebacon Tue 23-Apr-13 21:31:36

Also, what month is his birthday?

Tommychoochoo Tue 23-Apr-13 22:01:45

Ds1 is also in year 1 and 12 months behind. He is on a IEP but I have been given lots of guidance by the teacher. At the moment we are working on letter formations, he is starting most if them in the wrong place. Spelling 2 letter words eg in, it, as, an. Lots and lots of reading together he tries to read the easy words (biff and chip books) I help on the harder words. We are currently working on maths up to 5 i.e 4+1, 2+3 4-1 etc etc.
I'm know there lots of teachers on here who can give you good advice by just wanted to let you know what I've been told smile

SilveryMoon Mon 27-May-13 21:23:05

Just seen this.
Thank you for replies.
Tommy Glad the school are being so supportive (as they should be). How's your ds1 getting on now?
mouse Ds1 is August born. Is one of the youngest in the class.

I have had a meeting with the head teacher alone and she assured me that ds1 would finish Y2 on average if he continued to follow the trajectory of progress he is on.
I then had a meeting with the teacher and the head together because I was not happy with the responses I was getting from the teacher over a number of things.
The meeting was horrid, I brought up some things that she had said to me, she denied it and I felt our relationship was permanently damaged.
The meeting finished with the teacher agreeing to write a note in his reading diary once a week to communicate what he'd be working on in class that week, and the head said if I feel he is missing homework/spelling sheets etc, then I can e-mail her directly and she would chase it up.
We scheduled a meeting for 3 weeks later to see how it was going. I never received any notes from the teacher and I e-mailed the head to tell her this. I was very angry and told her that I felt the relationship had been damaged, that the teacher not doing what she said she would has shown me that she is not interested in my ds receiving as much support as possible and that I will not meet with her again.
That I thought it best to focus on the future and that we were looking forward to next year.
This meeting was scheduled for 16th May and I did not attend.
In the week before the meeting after I had sent the e-mail, I did not hear from the headteacher and I still have not had a reply.
I am very annoyed and am thinking of now going to the governors.

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