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Funny things children say and do

(56 Posts)
GW297 Thu 20-Sep-12 13:38:25

What is the funniest thing a child you have taught has ever done or said?

janji Wed 03-Jul-13 00:05:53

Had just told my class of 6 and 7 yr olds that I was going to have a baby. Breaktime came around and two darling girls went straight up to my colleague in the next door classroom to announce the good news!
Child 1: Mrs Janji's pregnant you know!
Child 2: (in a tone of disbelief and disgust) And her being a teacher! Tut tut!!

GW297 Tue 02-Jul-13 23:42:16

During wet play we were playing heads down thumbs up and a year 2 boy announced he was trying to estimate the size of the hands that touched his thumbs and how much pressure he thought each child would apply and amazingly he got it right every time!

ravenAK Sun 30-Jun-13 19:55:54

Oh & me, shouting down the stairwell as tutor group leave after registration & I recognise the dulcet tones turning the air blue: 'STEVEN! Stop that swearing!'

A pause, & then an indignant voice floats back up: 'MISS! It's not me fucking swearing!'

BabiesAreLikeBuses Sun 30-Jun-13 19:50:01

Animals in captivity project. Writing about the use of an ankus (steel pointed tool) to control elephants:

It's so cruel to use an anus.

Also ds came home with a list of building materials he needed beginning with 'sment'

ravenAK Sun 30-Jun-13 19:49:56

We watched 'The Truman Show'. Bottom set year 9, preparing for a GCSE Speaking & Listening task on the rights & wrongs of reality TV.

At the end, Truman climbs out of the dome & goes off to have a real life, right?

James: 'He did really well after that didn't he? Being in all those films & everything.'

<entire class look terminally confused, although that's pretty much their default>

It turns out James thought we were watching a documentary. About Jim Carrey, the Pre-Hollywood Years...

Labro Sun 30-Jun-13 19:33:50

My son to teacher 'I've dismembered my project miss' (he meant dismantled)

To his (male) history teacher 'Sir, do you think my mum is younger than you' (the guy is about 22 and I'm 42!)

To his female science teacher when she revealed that shes only 23 'Wow miss, my mum's old enough to be your mum'!

To my mum - nanny, did you wear a crinoline when you were young?

toomuchicecream Tue 11-Jun-13 22:14:29

Year 1 child whilst reading, me attempting to ensure she understood the context of story:
Me: Do you know what a bridesmaid is?
Her: Yes. I used to be one but now I'm a Christian.

Interpret that one if you can....

GW297 Tue 11-Jun-13 21:51:00

Just remembered I started this thread a while ago, as I have a new one to add today.

Me: What's your favourite kind of soup?
Child: Cuppa!

Somersaults Thu 07-Feb-13 20:52:53

Best insult I've ever heard from a seven year old who was all worked up at the time:

"Yeah... Well... You've got bananas coming out yer bum!"

EcoLady Fri 01-Feb-13 19:01:54

We're doing the Tudors, so I started with a "What I Know" exercise on post-it notes.

Apparently one of Henry VIII's wives was called Amber Lynne smile Such a pretty name!

storynanny Fri 01-Feb-13 13:33:25

In class one warm summers day, one of my 7 year old boys came up to me, wobbled my upper arms and said " my nannys got those" I was only 35 ish at the time and definitely had no bingo wings.
In another class, boy writing about what he did at the weekend " my dad went for a wa-k in the park" ( he misspelled walk if you see what I mean) he did read it back correctly to me though.

GW297 Fri 01-Feb-13 00:13:22

Name one of the five senses - sense of humour!

wonderstuff Sun 30-Dec-12 08:07:09

Year 7 pupil, really loudly 'Why is that bloke so tall?' (that bloke being the deputy head)
LSA 'Don't be rude, he might ask why you are so small?'

Year 7 'It's coz I smoke innit?'

Not quite so cute, but did make me laugh.

BrigitBigKnickers Sat 15-Dec-12 20:03:40

When starting the Romans topic with my year three class some years ago, one seven year old informed me with great authority that the reason why the Romans had not invaded Scotland was because they were afraid of the "Pixies" (I think she meant Picts!) grin

Another occasion I remember auditioning pupils for a play where we needed a jester to tell jokes.

Most pupils came up with the usual "Knock knock" and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" variety but one seven year olds contribution was "Why can't Barbie have babies? Because Ken comes in a box..." We all stuffed our hands in our mouths and tried the "that's nice dear" line.

He admitted he didn't get it but that his brother had told it to him... grin

EcoLady Sun 02-Dec-12 23:25:47

I'm currently having my first experiences on supply with year 1 (I'm KS2 trained really), so I'm getting the first joys of innocent mis-spellings.

Writing about their toys: "I cunt slep wiv ot mi dolly"

"she" spelled as "shiy", but the y is back to front and written fully above the line so it looks like a t. This doll's owner says "shit can tok and shit can wok and shit can cri and shit has lot of clths to wer"

Love it!

Lougle Sun 02-Dec-12 16:54:25

My own child, so cheating, but:

"If I smacked you in the face, that wouldn't be kind, would it Mum?"

DD3 is 3.7 and is exploring the categorisation of actions wink

AViewfromtheFridge Sun 02-Dec-12 16:46:54

When my form were in Year 8, I was writing a note to another teacher and signed my (first) name at the bottom of it. A girl at the front, who has the same name, asked why I'd written something about her, so I explained it was my name too.

At this point another girl at the back chimed up with "Oh! Are you sisters?"

The whole class turned as one and gave her a withering look!

GW297 Sun 02-Dec-12 16:43:40

That reminds me, I've had 'look it's pissing it down!' from a nursery child. You mean it's raining, darling?!

eviekingston Sun 02-Dec-12 16:37:37

"Miss???.... Computer's fucked....."
He was 4...

LilQueenie Sat 01-Dec-12 23:24:06

pmsl at Mrs doodah...cause that is a term I know to have been used instead of the word boobs. grin

Im not a teacher but my sis comes out with some brilliant ones. 18 years old and I was explaining that I was watching the gazelles on tv "running in the wild" Her confused reply was "what the newspaper"? erm no not the gazette.

GW297 Sat 01-Dec-12 22:55:41

These are great! I love the sex ed one and the compass.

JambalayaWarmMincePie Sat 01-Dec-12 20:56:32

Written in homework diary - "Test don't forget cumpiss."

Compass, compass!!

Mathsdidi Sat 01-Dec-12 20:53:23

Child 1 (seriously): what do you get when a horse and a zebra have a baby?
Child 2 (still seriously): A leprichaun
Child 1: Really? I thought they were like fairies, not horses
Child 2: No they're horses with a spike.

Turns out she meant unicorn, and she really believed that horses and zebras together made baby unicorns. It would be really cute in a young child but it's a little worrying in a 16yo about to leave school.

bigTillyMincePie Sat 01-Dec-12 20:42:44

Conversation at the table the other day.

Child 1. "Does he have Aspergers or something?" about another, smaller child.
Child 2. laughs
Child 1. " Do you even know what Aspergers is?"
Child 2. "Yes it's a vegetable"
Child 3. "No it's a kind of burger" grin

Wolfiefan Sat 01-Dec-12 20:42:43

PShE class
"We are doing sex with Mrs Wolfie next!"

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