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Cat is driving me mad

(38 Posts)
Borderstotheleftofme Sun 09-Aug-20 17:52:00

Just a rant more than anything, this probably isn’t the best place to put this thread but I’m hoping the responses will possibly be a bit gentler than AIBU.

I’ve had her since a tiny kitten and she’s really depressing me to be quite honest.
DH hates her, I like her, she’s has a very sweet and gentle personality but her destructiveness I am struggling to cope with.
She is so, so destructive.

She’s damaged four sofas, two beds, the stair carpet which now needs replacing but I daren’t do it while she’s here, the skirting boards, a wooden bookcase, a wooden cabinet, curtains, the kids mattress..

She is destroying my house!

I dread letting her in and struggle to relax when she’s in the house because all I can think is what is she scratching now?

We’ve bought her scratching posts, she either uses them in addition to everywhere else or just ignores them entirely.

I’ve tried playing with her but she loses interest.

She’s not massively affectionate either so it’s not like she’s acting up for lack of attention.

She’s worse than a Labrador for food, she will counter surf and take food straight off peoples plates.
All the mash I was cooking for dinner tonight is in the bin after I caught her eating it.

I’m just so fed up of her.
I want to rehome her but darent tell the rescue the reason why incase that means she doesn’t get accepted and incase they judge me.

I feel guilty about wanting to rehome her, as the kids love her and when she’s not trashing everything I love her too.
But I really don’t think I can cope with her anymore.

OP’s posts: |
mosquitofeast Sun 09-Aug-20 17:58:30

Call the vet and ask for advice.

Our cats destroy things, but we don't care. If you have a destructive cat, you just accept things will be damaged. We take particular care over covering up or putting away things like special shoes and clothes, etc, and not leaving food out.

Your situation is different because you are not able to accept the damage to your house. Or could you accept it if DH could accept it? which came first? cat or DH?

You say your kids love her, they will never forget it or forgive you if you give her away.

Its a difficult situation, but like I said, ask the vet for help. We have tried various things, some work to different extents for different cats, feliway, anti scratch strips, foil, etc

I hope you manage to find a way to enjoy her presence for the rest of her natural life, without too much stress for you, and without having to distress your children by giving her up

mosquitofeast Sun 09-Aug-20 18:02:17

I accidentally found some really rough bristly door mats in the pound shop a couple of weeks ago which are cats have been scratching madly recently, and have left our wallpaper alone for a while.

But we are used to living with torn wallpaper, and throws over all soft furniture, and other compromises.

My DC adore the cats so much though, I don't regret it, but was never house proud in the first place, so easier for me.

mosquitofeast Sun 09-Aug-20 18:03:07

I also have damaged stair carpet, which is not worth replacing while we have these cats in the household....

Borderstotheleftofme Sun 09-Aug-20 18:12:41

If you have a destructive cat, you just accept things will be damaged
I really don’t think either of us can.
It upsets us so much to see expensive items ruined.
And worse, this isn’t even our house!
We are in rental.

We take particular care over covering up or putting away things like special shoes and clothes, etc, and not leaving food out
I have tried things like double sided tape, foil etc which reminds me, she also toilets in my potted plants so they have foil over the soil (attractive hmm) and chews them 😡 but realistically, the amount of stuff she destroys is so huge, I’d have to cover my curtains, my blinds, all the beds, the stairs, the skirting etc etc.
Impossible!

Your situation is different because you are not able to accept the damage to your house. Or could you accept it if DH could accept it? which came first? cat or DH?
Me and DH both really wanted a cat, we bought her years ago but had no idea she would be like this.

You say your kids love her, they will never forget it or forgive you if you give her away
This is mostly what stops me rehoming her.

accidentally found some really rough bristly door mats in the pound shop a couple of weeks ago which are cats have been scratching madly
I have a large area of this matting and she does scratch it a tiny bit but not a lot.

OP’s posts: |
Borderstotheleftofme Sun 09-Aug-20 18:18:43

I think I’ve pretty much made my mind up I think tbh.
I really don’t think I can live with this cat.
I don’t know why I made the thread really, to rant I suppose or maybe hear others experiences with destructive cats or validation rehome is the right thing to do.
I don’t know.
I feel very conflicted.
She’s a nice cat and I would never want her to suffer but at the same time, the stress is immense.
This isn’t even my house and I’m just paying out and paying out trying to fix damage.
The rows me and DH have had because of her ruining everything sad

OP’s posts: |
slipperywhensparticus Sun 09-Aug-20 18:21:34

Your set on getting rid but for anyone else with this problem try static mats

mosquitofeast Sun 09-Aug-20 18:21:56

I'm so sorry you are in this situation . You have my sympathy. I am very lucky that our damage is within my tolerance zone, but that is only luck, I know, plus its mortgage, not rental, so my own stuff.

How old are your children?

mosquitofeast Sun 09-Aug-20 18:23:02

slipperywhensparticus

Your set on getting rid but for anyone else with this problem try static mats

what is that?

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit Sun 09-Aug-20 18:23:58

Pic?

mosquitofeast Sun 09-Aug-20 18:24:36

Is she spayed? I'm assuming so. How old is she?

slipperywhensparticus Sun 09-Aug-20 18:28:12

Like this

Borderstotheleftofme Sun 09-Aug-20 18:28:20

Your set on getting rid but for anyone else with this problem try static mats
What’s a static mat?

How old are your children?
4, 6 and 11

Is she spayed?
She is

How old is she?
About 6 now I think

OP’s posts: |
mosquitofeast Sun 09-Aug-20 18:29:42

I wish I could help. They only thing I can really suggest is talking to the vet.

Centaurpede Sun 09-Aug-20 18:30:10

Its worth trying putting cat nip on her scratching posts and pads, and making sure there are plenty around so she's not too far from one when she needs to scratch. You can also try feliway diffusers, I haven't used them myself but I've heard they are good for calming cats down so might help!

Borderstotheleftofme Sun 09-Aug-20 18:33:59

I wish I could help. They only thing I can really suggest is talking to the vet
Thank you flowers

Its worth trying putting cat nip on her scratching posts and pads, and making sure there are plenty around so she's not too far from one when she needs to scratch
Tried it.
She’s not massively into cat nip.
She’s had an assortment of scratching posts and activity centres over the years. The regular string ones, seagrass ones, cardboard ones..
She just prefers to use my stuff it seems 🤷‍♀️

You can also try feliway diffusers, I haven't used them myself but I've heard they are good for calming cats down so might help
I have heard of these and will try one

OP’s posts: |
Fettuccinecarbonara Sun 09-Aug-20 18:34:12

Could you not regularly trim your cats claws so they don’t cause as much damage?

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 09-Aug-20 20:16:41

Ask the vet for help, or in the meantime watch Jackson galaxy videos on YouTube. He usually fixes things with very simple ideas.

Toilenstripes Sun 09-Aug-20 21:18:28

To me it sounds like she’s bored. Do you have a garden for her to play in?

HuggedTheRedwoods Sun 09-Aug-20 21:54:01

Your husband hates her and you're fed up of her? I'd be trying to find her a place in a decent rescue as the poor thing will pick up on this and is probably pretty stressed herself.

Borderstotheleftofme Sun 09-Aug-20 22:07:42

Do you have a garden for her to play in?
I do, she spends large portions of the day outside

you're fed up of her?
Wouldn’t you be?!

I'd be trying to find her a place in a decent rescue as the poor thing will pick up on this and is probably pretty stressed herself
I honestly don’t think she’s stressed tbh.
Could be wrong, but I don’t think so.

OP’s posts: |
Borderstotheleftofme Sun 09-Aug-20 22:21:13

I don’t know if she’s bored, but if she is I don’t what I could do really as she loses interest fairly quickly if I play with her, as for stress, she just doesn’t strike me as a stressed cat.
I think she’s happy enough, just destructive!

OP’s posts: |
Deathraystare Wed 26-Aug-20 12:45:08

She’s not massively into cat nip.

Oh my. Ours went mad for it! Two went into an orgasmic frenzy and the male cat absolutely drooled (but kept his eye on everyone , so didn't really relax, but when I say drooled , it was like a waterfall!

Paranoidmarvin Sat 29-Aug-20 06:58:15

How are u doing now. What did u decide if n the end

mrscatmad31 Sat 29-Aug-20 07:05:08

Is she insured? It is worth getting a behaviourist in (sometimes covered by insurance) before you make the decision to re-home her

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