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Cat very ill, how to tell kids?

(16 Posts)
octopusrus Mon 02-Dec-19 10:46:29

I'd love some advice please.
Very suddenly our 13 year old gorgeous boy has lost a lot of weight and he's been diagnosed with advanced stage kidney disease.
He's losing weight so rapidly that unless the vet comes up with something else I think we're going to have to let him go, which is utterly heartbreaking.
I am massively struggling to deal with it myself but given he has been in my children's lives forever, and he's so affectionate, I've got no idea how to tell them.
Do I wait until it happens? Or tell them he's very ill so they have a chance to get used to the idea before it's a big shock?
Any advice welcome, thank you.

OP’s posts: |
OrangeZog Mon 02-Dec-19 10:49:14

I would tell them that he is very ill and likely to die so that they can say goodbye.

I’m sorry. flowers

halcyondays Mon 02-Dec-19 10:50:39

I think it would be better to tell them so they’re prepared and can spend time with him and say goodbye. With kidney problems they can collapse very suddenly so best to prepare them.

halcyondays Mon 02-Dec-19 10:52:27

I’m sorry, it is horrible going through this.

bengalcat Mon 02-Dec-19 10:56:07

So sorry . One of my old Burmese boys developed inoperable kidney cancer . I told my then 6yr old straight away that he had cancer for which there was no treatment that could cure him but that while he was well and enjoying life then we would look after him . I told her he might just die one day or he would become ill - in pain off his food etc in which case the vet would give him an injection which would end his life . As it was we had to go for the latter option - my daughter came to the vets when it happened ( I gave her the choice ) . It was all very peaceful .
So to answer your question tell them .
As an aside I’m probably very matter of fact about things as it relates to my job and secondly I remember losing our first cat age 8 ( me age 8 not cat ) - parents ‘ hid her death from me ‘ - I recall being furious I wasn’t told and most importantly that I didn’t get to see her body and say goodbye .

Bluerussian Mon 02-Dec-19 11:17:09

What orangezog said.

I'm so sorry, been there more than once and it is terribly sad.

A very long time ago we had a cat who died aged 15ish of cancer, had to be put down. My son was nineteen when our cat died so he had been in son's life since age of four and what's more, they were always great friends. It was very hard for all of us but time does heal, we did the best we could for our old friend.

Since then we've had a few and some have died, it doesn't stop being sad but at least our son is less involved, hasn't lived here for many years so less personally involved. I now have only one cat who is about twelve, a gorgeous boy, still lively and seems happy and healthy. Sooner or later I'll have to face the same with him. That's life I'm afraid (no pun intended).

Your children will grieve for a while but they have you who will understand their feelings. It does pass.


octopusrus Mon 02-Dec-19 11:37:08

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.
I'll see what the vet says today and start breaking the news this afternoon so they can get used to the idea, in case it happens quickly. God it's horrible, I need to get a grip otherwise I'll end up making them more upset if I'm in a state.

OP’s posts: |
Toddlerteaplease Mon 02-Dec-19 14:36:46

To be honest. There is unlikely to be any going back from kidney failure. I had my girl PTS as soon as the bloods confirmed it as I knew she was feeling terrible and had had enough
I'd tell your son now so he can adjust to the idea that she's very poorly.

Toddlerteaplease Mon 02-Dec-19 14:37:53

It is horrendous. Plan how you want it to be at the end. It makes it a tiny bit easier if you have a plan of what you are going to do. So very sorry for you.

Boristhecats Mon 02-Dec-19 16:32:20

Let us know how y get on at the vets. Hugs for today

octopusrus Mon 02-Dec-19 18:48:06

Got to take him in tomorrow. Happened so quickly. I was hoping to have a couple more days with him but his test results were so high I just thought I shouldn't drag it out. He seems kind of fine tonight though which is making it worse. The vet said she didn't know how he's not acting more poorly considering his results.
I've told both kids now and although it was horrendous they are ok and I'm so pleased they are able to say goodbye.
Tomorrow morning getting them to school is going to be so tough though, and then I'm taking him to the vet late morning.

OP’s posts: |
Boristhecats Mon 02-Dec-19 19:40:06

I’m so sorry xxxxxx

Fluffycloudland77 Mon 02-Dec-19 20:25:15

I’m so sorry, we lost ours 2 weeks ago and it’s so hard. I’m glad you got to say goodbye to him tonight.

Toddlerteaplease Mon 02-Dec-19 20:26:16

If you can get a good picture of his paws. There is a company that can make key rings etc from a picture of the toe beans. I have had all three of mine done.

octopusrus Mon 02-Dec-19 21:20:47

Thank you for your messages.

toddler I've not heard of that, do I just need a picture of his paw pads?

OP’s posts: |
Toddlerteaplease Mon 02-Dec-19 22:24:18

They send you a kit to take a print, but I don't think you can wait that long. One of mine wasn't having her prints taken. So I took a close up picture of her paw and she made the stamp from that. I have a stamp and a silver key ring with them on. The vet took a paw print after Maia was put to sleep, but these ones are so much nicer. The lady keeps them on file as well. It's called Cheeky Little Prints.

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