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Someone has just had a massive go at me about my cat.

(21 Posts)
feesh Tue 24-Sep-19 18:17:25

And I don’t know what to do.

We live overseas and we have a rescue cat. He’s sort of Bengal/Arabian Mau type - a real character. He’s male, neutered and about 5-6 years old and a soppy boy who loved cuddles. We have tried keeping him indoors, but he hates it and goes crazy, peeing all over the house and pacing, so we let him out (usually at night because he wakes the whole house up at 3am if we try and keep him in. Our house is very open plan, but the only bedrooms he can get to the doors of are our primary school kids’ rooms, so it’s them that suffer the most).

We live in a big community made up of apartments blocks. We are ground floor, so he can wander at will. There are a LOT of cats around because this community is very pet friendly (unusually in this area) so it attracts a lot of pet owners. He usually loves and seeks out feline company, but I think he’s found this particular location a bit more stressful than places we lived previously.

Since about 9 months ago, one of the families near us (who we are good friends with) started feeding two strays, one of which fights with my cat incessantly. It has cost us a fortune in vets bills and caused issues with people in the community complaining about them fighting.

Now a lady who lives opposite has just come and ranted at me very extensively and loudly, said that our cat is destroying her family life because he lays outside her house every morning and winds her dog up (a large Alsatian, which I think she had set on my cat tonight - it was the noise of his barking that led me to go outside to investigate which is when she ambushed me). She said we need to keep him indoors, that she’s reported him as a stray and tried to have him removed by the authorities. She said their constant fighting happens on her balcony every morning and wakes up her entire family (their bedrooms open out onto this balcony so it’s probably true). I tried to explain that we never had any issues until the stray turned up and she said that wasn’t good enough, that he was our cat and we needed to start keeping him indoors or there would be trouble.

I don’t know what to do. What I would actually like to do is get rid of this fucking stray that he’s fighting with, and I have approached the family who feed him to ask them to consider feeding him somewhere else but they said no. They are good friends and are very aware of all the vets bills we have had since this stray turned up (it’s averaged £100 a month) but they also face similar costs and just put it down to cats being cats.

I am now seriously tempted to round this stray up and take it to the rescue centre.

I don’t know what to do though. What would you do?

OP’s posts: |
wowfudge Tue 24-Sep-19 18:20:17

I'd be tempted to do as you suggest. What are the chances of it being adopted if you do that?

feesh Tue 24-Sep-19 18:20:46

I should also add that there are loads of cats in neighbouring houses, and I can’t be absolutely CERTAIN that getting rid of the stray would solve the problem completely. I don’t think he would fight with the others, given that he never did before, but he might. Although not having cat food scattered around and left in bowls for these damn strays would probably be a huge help.

OP’s posts: |
whitesockss Tue 24-Sep-19 18:21:07

Take the stray to the rescue centre

feesh Tue 24-Sep-19 18:21:37

@wowfudge it’s possible that the cat feeder will go straight to this place to try and find him. And possibly might find out it was me who handed him in - I’m not sure but I think they would take my ID.

OP’s posts: |
Shmithecat2 Tue 24-Sep-19 18:22:40

Is your cat neutered?

feesh Tue 24-Sep-19 18:24:50

Yes he’s neutered. He’s a lover not a fighter!

OP’s posts: |
feesh Tue 24-Sep-19 18:25:58

One of the strays is not neutered, but I don’t think it’s the one who fights mine. I’ll check.

OP’s posts: |
Shmithecat2 Tue 24-Sep-19 18:26:27

Fab. Do you have a local rescue or TNR group near you that could trap the cat? I'm assuming that as it's stray that it's not neutered.

wowfudge Tue 24-Sep-19 18:27:43

What about fitting a microchip operated cat flap for your cat so he can come and go as he pleases too. I've always found cats are much happier if they can come and go as they please. Means your cat can retreat home if he needs to too.

feesh Tue 24-Sep-19 18:27:59

Yeah we do, but the lady who feeds them is very involved with it. I’d rather just take him myself - I’ve tried repeatedly to reason with her and she’s not interested.

OP’s posts: |
feesh Tue 24-Sep-19 18:28:33

@wowfudge I’d love to, but our doors are 100% glass and it’s also a rental.

OP’s posts: |
Funghi Tue 24-Sep-19 18:29:35

Is he microchipped? Just in case crazy neighbour does attempt to have him taken away.

feesh Tue 24-Sep-19 18:33:05

Yes he is

OP’s posts: |
wowfudge Tue 24-Sep-19 18:33:12

Okay - many double glazed glass doors can have the panels removed and you can replace, even temporarily, a panel with either glass with a cat flap fitted or a solid panel with a cat flap. When you move get the old panel put back in and take the cat flap with you.

Oliversmumsarmy Tue 24-Sep-19 18:35:00

If you live in a house or g/f flat with a garden could you put up a cat proof fence .

That way he can go out on your garden but not get out.

feesh Tue 24-Sep-19 18:56:32

We can’t do any alterations to the doors, they’re huge (way bigger than anything you get in the UK). We have looked into it, as we managed to bodge something in the glass door of our previous house,

Our garden has the world’s lowest wall, and it’s a flower bed with a hedge growing in it, which is owned by the property management company, who water and maintain it, so we can’t do anything to that. There’s no hope of being able to box him in (also it’s tiny - barely bigger than your downstairs loo probably).

Our choices are either to keep him in permanently, which honestly would be impossible because the kids are in and out all day. Or ignore this woman who shouted at me, or find a way to stop the fighting.

I am going to keep him indoors tonight as I feel awful that his racket has been waking other families up. But if he wakes my kids up it won’t be sustainable to keep him in.

Oh and we can’t move house, we have 9 months left on the contract for this one. But it will be a consideration if he’s still getting in trouble at the end of the contract.

OP’s posts: |
RogersVideo Tue 24-Sep-19 18:56:39

I think cats will be cats. Are the other two cats really strays anymore if they are fed and their vet care paid?

While I understand the lady's annoyance, I don't think you're obligated to do anything about it. She could chase the cats away/ spray them with water if they're coming on her balconey. And her dog's barking is very much her own problem.

Is she not having a go at the people who feed the "strays?"

Dollymixture22 Tue 24-Sep-19 18:58:14

If the problem is just happening at night can you try and gradually switch his body clock and let him out during the day but keep him in at night.

Get those plug ins to relax him?

Also agree you should try everything to get a catflap. If he has a safe space to escape to that might reduce the fighting.

I too have spent a fortune on vets bills because my cat is being bullied by a neighbourhood cat. I kept her inside for a few weeks after a particularly nasty attack and switched her routine about and it seems to have died down.

I would also speak to your friends - they surely have some sympathy for the injured cats and will work with you to make them both happier?

feesh Tue 24-Sep-19 19:09:03

The other two are strays, in that they are not allowed in the house, but she does feed them and worm them and give them an outside bed to sleep on.

We absolutely can’t put a cat flap in. Our glass doors are hinged, not sliding. We have investigated all options and it’s not possible.

I’ll try switching his body clock. The only problem is that he sleeps all day when it’s 45 degrees outside and then likes to go out at night when it goes down to about 35. So it’s not easy.

I’m in two minds about speaking to my friend, just because I have tried so many times before and she’s not budging, and also if this stray mysteriously ‘disappears’ after I speak to her she’s going to know it was me.

I mean, I could issue her with an ultimatum, but it seems a bit harsh and would probably destroy our friendship.

OP’s posts: |
MrsCasares Wed 25-Sep-19 12:40:10

Can your neighbour buy an electronic cat scarier that emits a high pitched noise? Unfortunately we have had to put one up to stop our garden becoming a cats toilet.

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