Kitten keeps attacking older car - help

[KittekatMP]

We have a nearly 5yo cat M who lost her litter mate a few months ago in a car accident. She was really lonely so after some thought we got an 8 week old male kitten P in mid May.

P has his own room and was kept in there for the first week or two and then gradually introduced to the rest of the house. M was curious and initially they sniffed each other and that was about it. We did the scent swapping etc all as advised.

He was over enthusiastic so after a bit we used to either put him in his room or leave her in the kitchen with the cat flap.

P has not been out yet and was neutered earlier this week (he is 16 weeks now). Catflap is microchip and he is not yet registered on it.

Anyway, whenever he sees M he constantly jumps on her. She gives him a quick whack then when she gets naffed off we separate them. They are still never together without supervision.

We asked the vet for advice a few days ago who said that basically M needs to teach him his place and we need to let them get on with it and have a fight effectively. She said the longer we leave it we are just putting it off as at least now he is still comparatively small (2kg to her 4kg).

So the last few days we have left them to it a bit more and M is hissing at him and hitting him back but then she walks away. He just cannot atop then running after her and having another go. He does not seem to be getting the message. He also cannot resist her tail as she is long haired and it’s quite impressive (he is short haired).

When they initially see each other they still just sniff each other so it’s not a full on hatred but a direct result of his actions jumping on her (I think he is trying to play, he is desperate to play).

We do play with him a fair bit to try and tire him out but he has endless energy.

They are due to be going into a cattery together in two weeks! The cattery owner said unless they absolutely hated each other to put them in together as it may bond them. If we separate them it will undo any bonding.

We just don’t know what to do now. Both in terms of the over enthusiastic jumping and the cattery.
He needs to learn but how?? Help please!

[KittekatMP]

Should add we already have Feliway friends plug ins (4 of them!! Wanted to make sure it covered all of downstairs). That did help M’s tolerance of him a bit but we have had them a few weeks now.

[KittekatMP]

Also that she only hisses at him in direct response to him jumping on her or hitting her.

[viccat]

It doesn't sound too bad really, just normal establishing of hierarchies between an adult cat and kitten. It will help that he's now been neutered as well.

I would leave them to it pretty much but obviously keep an eye on them a bit to make sure there's no all-out fighting. M giving him a 'whack' is exactly what you'd expect, and hopefully you're seeing some submissive body language from P in response? (Him crouching low down and having his ears down etc.)

Keep playing with him to help him burn his excess energy. In a few months he'll start calming down but at the moment he's probably really annoying for M who at 5 will be a lot calmer.

[KittekatMP]

Thanks viccat yes, she definitely finds P really annoying!

In response he does sometimes back away but then goes again almost immediately. So the submission doesn’t really last and he then just carries on ‘playing’ when she is fighting.

He has learned sometimes to sit and watch her eat and one time she actually let him eat at her bowl (just the once a while back).

We are sort of just letting them get on with it for limited periods now but it takes us bringing him away to stop it, I think he’d keep going forever and that feels unfair to her. Maybe we should leave them to it more but I don’t know if he would actually stop or what it would take for him to stop?

[HuggedTheRedwoods]

Has he got any interactive toys he can play with alone, e.g. those ball-in-a-track type things, so he has other distractions nearby he can amuse himself with and burn up some energy instead of waiting for you to play with?

[ImNotYourGranny]

I think you need to relax and let them get on with it. What you're describing is normal cat behaviour. My 'kitten' is now 2 and still tries to pounce on my older cat. She gets cross and hisses at him or belts him if he's close enough.

There was a strange cat in our garden one day and my older cat went nuts. She was so angry and having none of it. It helped me realise that what I see when she's 'angry' at the kitten is actually only mild annoyance.

[KittekatMP]

Thanks both.

He has some toys he can play with alone but maybe I should get some more.

Thanks imnotyourgranny, you’re probably right. I just feel sorry for M as she is constantly being hassled by him unless we intervene. Then after she’s hit him she runs away but he continues chasing her.