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Help! Disharmony between cats

(12 Posts)
AnotherEmma Sat 06-Jul-19 23:52:25

I have two cats who are siblings (brother and sister). We got them as kittens (when they would curl up to sleep together) and they are nearly 5 years old now. They seemed to rub along ok over the years but I have occasionally been worried about fighting and rivalry, and recently it seems that they don't want to be around each other at all.

We have a cat flap and they can come and go during daylight hours but we lock them in overnight (for safety reasons). We see them very rarely now, they tend to come in for food and go out again. When we shut them in overnight, the female cat urinates in odd places (even though we provide litter trays) and we think she's overgrooming because we find clumps of her fur. I think the male cat is bullying her, because she turned up in the garden (a rare occurrence now) and he chased her away. She also came in tonight and has been hissing/growling whenever he approaches (he tried to attack her but I stopped him).

I'm upset about it but at a loss about what I can do. We've started leaving the cat flap unlocked at night so they are not trapped indoors together but it means we barely see them and I worry about them being out at night.

Is this fixable? Is there anything I can do to help them live more harmoniously together? I know that cats are territorial - do I need to buy more cat beds and trees for the house so they have more places to hide and claim for themselves? In the past we've bought things and they've ignored them.

Anything else?

OP’s posts: |
Fluffycloudland77 Sun 07-Jul-19 08:26:39

You could try them both on zylkene capsules in their food but it sounds like he wants to be an only cat.

AnotherEmma Sun 07-Jul-19 08:38:56


They would probably both be happier as only cats but we couldn't possibly rehome one of them, how on earth would we choose which one to rehome and which one to keep?! sad

OP’s posts: |
Fluffycloudland77 Sun 07-Jul-19 08:41:03

Try the zylkene & look at YouTube for old “my cat from hell” videos, he’s bound to have done one on cats who don’t get on.

viccat Sun 07-Jul-19 09:04:51

Have you taken the girl, and maybe both, for a check up at the vet's? Urinating outside the litter tray could be a sign of an UTI.

If you see them less and less, sounds like one or both may be spending time at someone else's house maybe?

Toddlerteaplease Sun 07-Jul-19 09:07:46

Try a pet remedy diffuser. I found it more effective and cheaper than feliway. Zyklene is also really good.

squee123 Sun 07-Jul-19 09:11:21

The trouble is that unresolved one or both might just move out or become strays. If it can't be fixed I would sadly rehome the one that would be easiest to rehome through a reputable rescue. Better that than them becoming strays.

In terms of practical things to try, have you tried Feliway Friends plug ins? They are different to the original and are specifically for multicat tension. Also lots of vertical space may help. Have a read of Jackson Galaxy's catification book - lots of practical ideas in there.

AnotherEmma Sun 07-Jul-19 09:19:41

Thanks all. I'll take a look at the YouTube videos and book.

We do actually have a pet remedy diffuser which I use on bonfire night etc. DH doesn't like using it as he doesn't like the smell and he says it doesn't make a difference 🙄 So he might be happier to give them Zyklene. I think I will try buying Zylene and sorting out more vertical space for them.

We have a very cat-friendly street, neighbours on each side and further have cats. Our male cat seems to be friendly with our NDN's cat on one side, and apparently our female cat spends a lot of time in the NDN's garden on the other side. The main thing is that they're happy but I do miss them sad

OP’s posts: |
ppeatfruit Sun 07-Jul-19 11:18:33

Are they neutered? We have a female rescue, we've had her for 16 years , she's a real queen cat she hated the strays we look after, but it's become better gradually she puts up with them now esp. outside.

DM had 2 that were brother and sister, they always spatted, it's quite normal, the females tend to be more home loving. They are defending their patch from marauding males!! Being a related makes no difference when they're adults.

ppeatfruit Sun 07-Jul-19 11:21:21

Yes they need to ''hide' somewhere. They do also like to change their sleep area and bedding etc. regularly.

AnotherEmma Sun 07-Jul-19 12:26:19

Yes they are neutered, got them neutered at 5 months, you can't exactly have unneutered male and female siblings living together grin

OP’s posts: |
ppeatfruit Sun 07-Jul-19 13:07:21

No that's true grin . We use seren um to keep Millie from 'yowling" through the night , it does calm her through the day as well, not that much though!

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